Advent - Transformed Through Waiting

I was asked to write a couple of advent devotionals for our church this season--there is the first installment.

Jeremiah 33:14-16 (New Living Translation)

“The day will come, says the Lord, when I will do for Israel and Judah all the good things I have promised them.

“In those days and at that time
I will raise up a righteous descendant from King David’s line.
He will do what is just and right throughout the land.
In that day Judah will be saved,
and Jerusalem will live in safety.
And this will be its name:
‘The Lord Is Our Righteousness.’

This time of the year often takes on a totally different sentiment than we intend for it to possess. Life gets crazy; we become busier than ever and somewhere in the midst of living our life, we forget that this is a season of great hope and anticipation. As followers of Christ, we want to believe that Christmas holds spiritual meaning, but finding the time to explore this significance doesn’t always fit into our busy holiday schedule.

As Jeremiah prepares God’s people for the eventual coming of the Messiah, he implies that waiting for the Lord’s coming is not a passive pursuit. We are challenged to an act of waiting that is fervent and active. Advent is not just about waiting for God to fulfill his promise. It is about being transformed through waiting.

The challenge this season is to not only understand, but also acknowledge the fact that God’s promises are true; that we can have confidence in His word as we allow this fact to restore us. Pain, disappointment, regret and heartache are aspects of life as we wait, but hope is alive within us because Jesus provided the supreme sacrifice on the cross. It is through His sacrifice that we are assured eternal life and afforded the opportunity to anticipate the day the Lord will return

“We must accept finite disappointment but we must never lose infinite hope,” Martin Luther King Jr.

Death at Walmart--So Senseless!

What have we come to? Stores open at 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning; only stocking 6 to 8 of the “bargains” advertised in the flyer—then we are SHOCKED when 2000 people await the opportunity to buy a big screen television at a bargain basement price, but what is the cost??—a human life??? How insane is that? Surely these people at Walmart feel all kinds of remorse – the kind that doesn’t allow you to sleep or even get through the day, but alas that isn't even the case. This Walmart worker was someone’s son—perhaps someone’s husband or someone’s father. What is WRONG with our society that someTHING is worth the price of some ONE?
USA TODAY ARTICLE

Happiness Doubled by Wonder

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton, English writer (1874-1936)

This Thanksgiving I am not only thankful, I am truly grateful. I say this at a point in my life when one stepson moved in a week ago and the second one arrives on Monday. That will make a total of 5 males and one female in this household--5 adults and one adolescent living under the same roof and I am “doubled by wonder”? Why? Because God has chosen me to find and experience another great love, He has offered up the opportunity make a difference in the lives of those around me and has given me some sort of supernatural energy that is, most definitely, a prerequisite for my predicament.

I have never been one to take the easy road—how boring that would be? I have been known to claim God’s promises and then “test” Him or perhaps it is God who tests me. Whichever is the case, this Thanksgiving I honor the love that permeates my selfishness and calls me to a higher plane—a love that is sufficient and graceful--a love that puts what I want or need in second place to the needs of the ones I love. A love that I am incapable of, but with God through me is totally possible.

"By HIS own hand he leadth me"... as nostalgic as it seems---"This I know for sure."

Tuesday Triviality - Three Decades of NOT Being Cool!

Taking my lead from Annie at Anniegirl1138, here is the Tuesday Triviality...
I was NOT cool in the past. I was lucky that my high school was known for music instead of sports, so for that--I was fortunate.

In the 1970’s
I was a “yell leader” for my school. This was for the girls who didn't have a chance to make cheerleading.
I was the treasurer of the student body
I listened to the radio non-stop.
I weighed 135 pounds at 5’11” and thought I was fat.
I played with Barbies until moving to Hastings, NE where my best friend thought they were lame, so I quit.
I rode a purple Schwinn banana seat bike.
I lived in a small town in Nebraska and walked/rode everywhere in town—it was really awesome.
I was not allowed to wear a halter-top—so I definitely missed my chance.
I didn’t go to any high school dance, including prom because, at the time, it was “against my religion”—now I look back---how stupid.
I was NOT allowed to watch “Family”, but would sneak a peak every once in a while.

In the 1980’s
I was selected for an elite Madrigals group at my high school and then--we moved my senior year.
Graduated from high school and then university.
Voted for Ronald Regan (and would again).
Listened to the Doobie Brothers and Eagles non-stop.
Stayed up to watch Princess Diana’s wedding at 4 in the morning.
Watched Dallas and Dynasty and could tell you who killed JR in 1991.
I didn’t miss “Days of Our Lives”
Drove an ancient VW hatchback that didn’t have heat—I used a scraper to scrap the INSIDE of my front window.
Met Don and married him the same year as Diana married Prince Charles—I was much more successful with love, but ended up having to live the same loss.
Gave birth to my first child, just as the decade ended.
Graduated from college and got my first teaching job (which I still hold today).

In the 1990’s
I lived through the Midwest Flood of ‘93.
I became a mother for the second time.
I traveled for the first time in my life to Washington D.C with a group of 30 middle school students---TWICE.
I thought I knew it all…and maybe I did then????
I gained 130 pounds, but didn’t really have an image issue—go figure.

In the 2000’s
I got one master’s degree and then decided to get another one.
I had gastric bypass and lost 140 pounds.
I lost my husband and my identity.
I bought a home by myself for the first time.
I traveled a road I never intended to.
I began to write again by starting a blog.
I met and married my second husband.
I became an instant mother of six and a grandmother.
I took up running, biking and swimming—a healthy lifestyle for the first time.
I decided that it isn’t about me, but about my influence…geezz…it took long enough.

What about you?

Cardboard Testimonies

Inspired by the "Cardboard Testimonites" at Hillside church, our local, ministry team created a similar experience at our church today. Kent and I could not pass up the opportunity to give God the glory for what has happened in our lives.


After you view the video, you will understand our testimony:

OUR plans shattered by the death of a spouse.
Living GOD’s plan for the future.

I wasn’t prepared for the wave of emotion that seemed to overwhelm my family, my friends and me upon experiencing this moving event. Kent and I recognize God’s hand in our situation, but have been hesitant to claim it—as we did today through the cardboard testimonies.

The biggest blessings came from my stepson, who came to live with us this week. I am encouraged by the possibilities this “new start” will afford him and the opportunities for growth it will afford all of us. On the way to get into the car after the morning’s service, he told Kent that he was moved by our testimony and that our words were not only our (Kent and my) declaration, but also that of the entire family. When Kent recounted this incident to me, tears filled my eyes and my heart was completely filled with the promise that we are not in control, but God is…what a relief! Blessings abound!

How about you? What is your cardboard testimony?

Everything I Know About Life--I Learned From a Middle School Basketball Game

Chandler’s first middle school basketball game was tonight. He started at center. On this, his birthday, Don would have been so very proud of him. Chandler had a cheering section this evening. Kent and I attended, Chad and Joy, Grandma and Grandpa Abla, and Charleen were all present for his debut. As I sat watching Chandler play, I was surprised to find how much the game resembled lessons I have learned in life, so in honor of Chandler’s first game, I bring to you…

Everything I know about life I learned from a middle school basketball game.

I learned that…

• You wont always be first string, sometimes your job will be to come in after the all-stars are tired and take the game from there. There is no glory in this except the self-satisfaction of knowing that without you the game wouldn’t be possible.

• You will always have folks to cheer you on, even if you totally mess things up.

• You may have killjoys in your life who are pessimistic about pretty much everything—stay away from them—they affect your positive mojo.

• Sometimes you have a good game where everything goes perfectly—you are in a zone; then there are other times when you couldn’t make a basket if your life depended on it.

• Most of the rather big mistakes you make are soon forgotten by others, but remain in your memory forever--what good does that do?

• Sometimes you get a “bad call”, but there is the benefit of the ability to blame someone else for it (referees).

• Guarding yourself from injury is the first line in self-preservation.

• You can’t make it to the end of the game without your teammates. It takes five to play basketball. It takes more to play in real life.

• No one else will remember the score in a week, so perhaps you shouldn’t keep it. Sometimes we require more from others than we do ourselves. We remember the hurts and the offenses against us far more than they merit our time or energy.

• Sometimes the game isn’t about the game. Chandler played a rather seasoned team tonight. He calls the Monticello Sages the Monti-steroid Sages because their 7th grade center is 6’2”. Anyway, after a crushing defeat he went to the concession stand and began to make friends with the other team—it’s his nature. For him, it is more about the relationships than the game – I couldn’t be more proud.

• It is essential to have a strong coach, one who has played the game before you; one who owns the playbook; who encourages you; who calls you to discipline and finds value in who you are.
  

I am sure there are many more life lessons to be gleaned, but these are but a few of my personal insights. Care to add more???

Tuesday Trivialty is BACK--Take the Challenge

Complete the following task with a word beginning with the same letter as your first name—common—it’s just for FUN!!!

1. What is your name: Marsha
2. A four letter word: Mall
3. A vehicle: Mustang
4. A city: Madrid
5. A boy's name: Michael
6. A girl's name: Melinda
7. Drink: Mountain Dew
8. An occupation: Monk
9. Something you wear: Muffs
10. A Celebrity: Madonna
11. A food: Macaroni and Cheese
12. Something found in a bathroom: Make-up
13. Reason for being late: My car wouldn’t start.
14. Something you shout: My goodness!
15. An animal: Mongoose
16. A body part: Mind
17. Word to describe yourself: Meaningful
18. A favorite word: Miracle
19. A movie: Mama Mia
20. A book you enjoyed: My Sister’s Keeper by Jody Picault

Leave your answers on a comment or refer back to your blog!! Enjoy!!

The Art of Racing Against the Wind

A couple of weeks ago Kent and I participated in the “Spooky-Du(althon)”. It was a 1.8-mile run, 20-mile bike ride followed by a 1.8 mile run. My initial intention was to complete the entire race myself. As has been chronicled here ad nauseum, running is not my forte; I don’t really even like it. So when I noticed there was a “team category” for this race, I jumped at the chance for my husband to complete the run and I would complete the biking portion of the race.

Though it was unseasonably cold the morning of the race, we were filled with anticipation . The 1.8-mile run curved through Weldon Springs State Park (a beautiful venue) while the bike portion of the race was twenty miles through the Central Illinois countryside balanced with hills, curves and flatland. I was confident about the ride, as I am a much stronger cyclist than runner, but when confronted with the added hardship of 20 mph winds directly in my face, the first ten miles was brutal and my confidence began to diminish. Even seasoned tri-athletes said it was a challenging ride. Many times during those first ten miles I simply wanted to quit, or get off the bike and walk. I can’t remember ever challenging myself as hard physically.

As I approached the turn around, the front-runners in the race passed me going the opposite direction. I looked up to find smiles on their faces and an occasional encouraging “thumbs up”. It was obvious that if I could simply make it to the turn-around I would find great relief. The race totally changed at the turn-around. Heading back to the starting line, with the wind at my back, I was able to ride effortlessly much faster than my average speed and I felt a smile replacing the scowl on my face. Crossing the starting line was sweet and more rewarding than I can say.

Often, our lives simulate a race against the wind. We find ourselves maneuvering the hills and curves of life that we never dreamed would impede our journey. Adversity mounts to the point of breaking our spirit and we simply want to quit, or at least get off the “ride” for a while. Facing life’s trials is not for the faint of heart. The knowledge that the “turn-around” is within reach, where the wind will carry us to a more contented place, somehow keeps us going. Finding the courage, energy and strength to merely make it to the turn-around is the challenge, but we do make it; where the road gets easier, and the ride sweeter, where the smile returns, and contentment rests…that is…until the next race.

Above the Fold

I know I have taken a hiatus from blogging, but I am back...

On the eve of what will certainly be the most monumentally historic election in our country’s history, our local newspaper has seriously missed the mark. There is a three-inch banner story at the top of the front page (no picture) about “Obama expanding ‘blue states’”—and that is the ONLY mention of the election on the front page. I am not kidding. The story covered on the rest of the front page with a 5 1/2” by 8” FULL color photo is entitled “Pennies from Heaven”. This story chronicles a family that is renovating an older home; who are finding pennies everywhere in the home and are sure that the spirit of their dead grandmother is leaving the pennies around the house. WHAT???? Just so you don’t think I am making this up, here is the link to the story:
Pennies From Heaven

In the graphic design world, there is a concept referring to the positioning of enticing news stories and photos placed above the fold on the front page. Supposedly, this is prime placement for articles that attract people to purchase the newspaper. Is the “ghost penny” story really what the editors of the Decatur newspaper think will entice intelligent people in our community to buy and read this newspaper, especially TODAY—the day before election day?

In the past, I have threatened to stop reading our local newspaper for a multitude of reasons, but this time—I MEAN IT. No longer will I patronize (vt. to be a regular customer of a business) the Decatur Herald and Review as long as they are determined to patronize (vti. to treat somebody as if he or she were less intelligent) me--and THAT you can print ABOVE THE FOLD!

This is Why I Teach....Tuesday Triviality...

Though I KNOW this was scripted---it is still inspirational....

1o year old intellect...

Enjoy...

Tuesday Triviality-How I Have Changed Over Time...

I subscribe to Dave Bruno’s blog since I stumbled on his “100 Thing Challenge.” A few weeks ago he posted 10 ways that he has changed over time. I decided to do the same—read on and then participate yourself. How have you changed over time?

1. Once I spent most of my time shopping, now I hardly shop at all.
2. Once I never exercised beyond walking to and from my car at Walmart, now I exercise daily.
3. Once I laid out at the pool most of the summer, now I can’t stand to lay out and you can tell.
4. Once I thought it was important to be right, now I think it’s more important to admit being wrong.
5. Once I love McDonald’s Big Mac’s, now I haven’t eaten one in years.
6. Once I swore my kids “would never”… now I know they probably will.
7. Once I couldn’t sit still in church…wait…that one hasn’t changed.
8. Once I cared about religion, now I care about the relationship.
9. Once I read two to three books a week, now I am lucky if I read one every two weeks (this really has got to change).
10. Once I never watched much television, now I watch too much.

If I could steal one from Dave Bruno, it would be his last “Once I cared about being successful. Now I care about being influential”. That would be my ultimate goal...

At Three Years...

“Grief is the price you pay for loving someone.” Zig Zigglar

This is where I find myself. Three years has past and the grief still remains. Not in the same form or intensity that it has been in the past, but it remains a part of who I am, most likely in one way or another it always will be. I will visit Don’s grave today and especially honor his memory, but more than that I want to remember to pay tribute to his legacy.

I can’t believe it has been three years since Don was with us. The saddest part for me is the fact that I know other people probably won’t remember the actual day Don died. I don’t expect them to really. It is simply sad.

The brightest part for me is that we still speak of Don often, look at old photos and hold on tightly to the memories. We even laugh at things we know he would have found funny.

So many little things still remind me of Don. Things like every time I hear someone say, “That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” or when Mythbusters comes on; when I see a Martin guitar or when I drive by a golf course. There is sadness in my heart, but I smile at the memory.

In a strange way, even my ability to remarry speaks volumes to Don’s legacy. It is because our love was so complete that I am able to love again. It is also his example of how to love that lives on in his sons—their future wives will be so fortunate. Yes, grief is the price you pay for loving someone and we will pay it---gladly because the love was worth it.

In loving memory:

The 1,000,000 Word Assignment

I spent my weekend reviewing an assignment that I gave to the parent’s of my students:

1,000,000-word assignment

I have read over 100 responses from parents who grasp the importance of introducing their child to me. The writings I received were as diverse as those writing them. I acquired compositions, poems, lists and even one 1200-word essay. Each response I read revealed the best qualities of their children, some that I may never have been aware of had I not had this “heads-up” from a parent. Often I found my eyes tear up at the beautiful words written by loving parents.

As I read each essay, it reinforced my belief that every child deserves to be perceived as their parents perceive them. Through these essays, I gained immeasurable insights into the children who visit my classroom each day. I know that I have always had my student’s best interest at heart, but it wasn’t until I had children of my own go through the education process that I “got” how important it is to reach those unreachable students. Many times these are difficult students who are often treated with disdain because of learning or behavior challenges. It was through parenting my own children and having to personally deal with educators who were inflexible, seemingly callous, and downright an obstacle to the learning process, that I realized how detrimental this type of teacher is to the profession. If your goal as a teacher is to engage students, how is it possible to do that without taking the whole child into consideration?

It is funny how when an idea or value comes to mind, it is often reinforced with something you are reading. While reading Brenda Dyck’s book “Rebooting of a Teacher’s Mind”, I was reminded of the times in my own life when home and school collided. It is because I have personally experienced these dilemmas that my classroom practices have been modified over the years. Life experiences like…,
¸ coming home late from work to a house that needs cleaning, laundry that needs to be tended to and a son with two hours of homework.
¸ helping my child with assignments or projects that had little to no direction from the teacher.
¸ the inability to help my child study for a test because I was just too exhausted to do so..
¸ single parenting….this is a huge one. I never understood how difficult this alone can be until I was one.
¸ rushing to get out the door in the morning and forgetting to sign something the kids needed for school.

There is no “child-mold” or a one-size-fits-all template for children. As I teach, I try to remember that each child in my classroom is someone’s prized possession. If naughty Nick were my child, how would I want a teacher respond to him, teach him or prepare him for life? All I know is that my role as a parent requires me to not only be the disciplinarian, but more often I am the encourager, organizer, manager, listener, and cheerleader for my children. It seems these are also perfect roles of a teacher. Who wouldn’t want this type of person interacting with their child every day?

Tuesday Triviality!

Check out this article about social networking---leave your comments afterward:

Brave New World of Digital Intimacy

Musings From the Finish Line

This morning Kent and I ran in a local 5K race benefiting the animal shelter. Our dogs came along and ran with us. It was a nice, low-keyed race for my first one. My goal from the beginning was to simply run the whole way (no walking) and to finish. Well, that I accomplished. I came in last, but attained my personal goals. Ironically, I ended up getting a medal anyway, as there were only three women in my age division. I took this as a gift from the running gods as a memento of my day.

Looking back, I am amazed at my journey from couch potato to runner. My best friend, Ginny started running earlier this year. We have always enjoyed the same things, but thought this would be the one thing I could never share with her. Kent runs as well, but I looked on it as a “guy thing”. Both Ginny and Kent encouraged me, challenged me and even pushed me to at least entertain the idea that I could be a runner. In early July, I ran out of excuses and decided to give running a try.

When I started, I couldn’t run to my mailbox. I remember the sense of accomplishment at each milestone; 1/4 mile, 1/2 mile, 1 mile, 2 miles and finally 5K. I would call Ginny just to tell her I had reached the next goal.

Signing up for my first race was just the motivation I needed to get up every morning and train. I was hopeful that losing a little weight would be a natural byproduct of taking this healthy step forward, but as of today—I haven’t been THAT lucky. I found inspiration through reading (of course, my precursor to anything) “No Need for Speed” by John Bingham and “Slow, Fat, Triathlete” by Jayne Williams. Taking advantage of the tools for training, searching for inspiration and the encouragement I received enabled me to attempt something I never thought I could.

As I crossed the finish line today with cheers from those who finished before me, I thought of the students in my classroom who never have the opportunity to feel the victory of “stepping across the finish line” academically. They attempt to maneuver their way through school dodging obstacle after obstacle in their path. They don’t know how to “train” or they lack the motivation to do so. They don’t seem to have anyone in their lives to encourage them, push them or believe in them. Yet, we expect them to perform on the same level as those students fortunate enough to not only have one, but all of those affirmations in their lives.

Is it true students have to “want” to learn for us to reach them, OR can their reluctance to learn be overcome by not only offering the “tools” to “train” but engaging instruction as to how to us them? Do they merely need someone to believe in them, encourage them and push them? I realize this seems oversimplified, but is it? Nothing to do with becoming a runner has been easy. To this day, I don’t necessary like it, but today I feel like a runner. Perhaps not in an accomplished athlete’s eye, but in my own and in those who care about me. By the same token, reluctant students may feel the same—nothing about school is easy, but hopefully through dedicated teachers, encouraging parents and “training” they can feel the satisfaction crossing over the finish line can bring.

What Happened to My Life?

Here is why I have no time to write. This is a typical day in my life right now....

6:00 AM Wake up and run or ride for 45 minutes
7:00 AM Get ready for school
7:30 AM Go to school
7:40-4:00 PM Work
4:30-8:00 PM Chanman's bb game
8:00-9:00 PM Dinner with my husband--catch-up on the day etc....
9:00 PM Relax for an hour
10:00 PM Go to bed

HELP!! Where does writing fit in???? Where does ANYTHING else fit in?????

Letter to My Younger Self

In the new issue of Marie Claire, there is a special “promotion” section publishing selected letters written in a contest entitled “Letters to Your Younger Self”. After reading the letters, I thought this to be a valuable exercise on many levels. My challenge to you is for you to do the same. The rules (you know I hate them): choose an age in which you wish you could write a letter to your younger self and then publish it on your blog (but don’t forget to link back or at least let me know you accepted the challenge) or email it to me.

Marsha (Central Illinois), 46
Writes to herself at age 19.

Dear Marsha,
As you stand before the minister today and pledge your love to another, know that you are about to embark on a new and marvelous journey. It will take you to the heights of love and contentment. You will be fortunate enough to experience great joy, yet coupled with that happiness will come great sorrow. Your choice to marry young will turn out to be wise and providential, despite the reservations of others. Becoming a woman of strength and purpose will begin today; as you choose to unite yourself with someone else. It will be many years before you appreciate and honor the fact that your mate gave you autonomy to be yourself, even as you learned to be a wife and a mother.

The life you have been blessed to experience up to this point will simply be the precursor to the life you will experience from here. Choosing to covet the strength found in family, friendships and spiritual commitment will allow you to live within the parameters of some of life’s most cruel narrations.

You will find that values guide your life. Things like education, personal growth and a real need to make a difference will cause you to take pause and often take action. I know you have thought little about these things up to this point. You will not be forced to do so for quite awhile, but that’s ok. You are predestined to live your life by taking chances and encountering life’s curves as if you could withstand anything.

Your love for life must never fade away. Self-disciple may evade you, minor irritants may momentarily distract you, but pure determination will enable you flourish. Your life will be blessed, not more or less than anyone else’s, but you will consider yourself fortunate.

You must move on from today as if you never received this letter, as my wish for you is to simply experience your life—just as you were intended. Have no regrets; for then nothing in your life will have been in vane.

Many Blessings,
Marsha

Meme-Tag

KMY Tagged me from her Diary of a Nomad blog: I found this meme to be an interesting one...

The Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about six unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag six fellow bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the six blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Unspectacular quirks:

1. I hate it when chairs aren’t pushed in under the table. I will go around and do this even at someone else’s house. I share this quirk with my good friend Ginny.

2. I am terrible at remembering birthdays, but get really upset if someone else misses mine (that’s why it’s a quirk—it doesn’t make any sense at all).

3. When I start a book, I have to finish it even if it is terrible. I am trying to break this one. No one should waste his/her time on BAD literature.

4. I have a decorative calendar in my kitchen that has to be changed by putting the new calendar in a picture frame---the one in there now reads – MARCH. This is sheer laziness.

5. I am an AMAZINGLY productive procrastinator. I work better and more efficiently if I wait until the last minute to complete a task (and often do).

6. I am a TV-aholic. I love watching TV. Most people don’t like admitting this, but I imagine there is many more of “my-kind” than those who swear off television.

I will tag....
Chad
Joy
Marc
Kent (just to get him to post something)
Lisa
Rosanne (for the same reason as Kent)

Breast Cancer 3-Day

Today is the start of a great adventure for my friend Bear (Barry). He begins walking 60 miles in three days to benefit breast cancer research. The crazy part is that he plans to do this TWICE—once in Chicago and once in San Diego. I have often said that widowhood tends to be self-absorbing, but not for Bear. He is constantly giving whether it is in welcoming newly widowed to the Chicago dinners, or walking 60 miles for a great charity. I can't wait to hear the details of his journey and I am sure there will be stories. Below is a link to his “Blisters for Boobs” website where you can read about why he is so passionate about breast cancer research. I know breast cancer has affected many of your lives in one way or another and if you are compelled to donate to Bear’s walk, there is a place to do that on his site as well. As for me, I am so proud to call him my friend and wish I were there in person to cheer him on! GO BEAR!!

Blisters for Boobs

Look Good Naked

To say that I have body image issues would be a gross understatement. Sometimes I think I felt better about my body when I weighed 300 pounds than I do now. I am not sure why that is the case, because since my gastric bypass I have gone from super skinny size 10 (on my 5'10" body), to normal size 12, to a few pounds more. All in all, I am still 130 pounds thinner than I was when I began. This fact alone should be enough to keep me confident with my figure, yet it eludes me on so many levels.

Tonight I watched Lifetime’s “How to Look Good Naked”. This is not your run of the mill “makeover” show. Instead Carson Kressley attempts to assist a woman who is dissatisfied with her “less than perfect” body. He then endeavors to create in her an acceptance of who she is. The poor woman must stand in front of a mirror in only her bra and panties, which of course, she has difficulty doing, but seems to humor him just the same.

One of the most interesting experiments occurs when Carson brings several women out in their underwear and the subject is to choose which ones are bigger and which are smaller than she. She appoints all the women lager, when in fact; they are ALL smaller than she. Chronicling the transformation of the woman from self-conscious to self-confident is quite astounding. Just being privy to the change in the way she carries herself is somewhat astounding. There was no liposuction, no “nip-tuck”, no drastic makeup or extreme hair makeover; she simply begins to accept her body--even appreciate it.

I know I have lamented ad nauseum about the fact that my newfound athleticism has not paid off with changes in my body. I find that I am much more confident on the bicycle, in the gym or in the pool, but that confidence doesn’t seem to carry over to the full-length mirror. How should I expect anyone else to think I am sexy, if I don’t believe it myself?

Why is it that women have such a hard time when it comes to our bodies? The men in our lives love them, why can’t we? Shouldn’t we afford ourselves the same admiration as those in our lives who love us? Even when I was obese by children would say, “Mom, you are not fat.” I would dismiss such comments as silly, when I should have embraced them as the truth.

In this episode of “How to Look Good Naked” the subject’s most significant "aha moment" comes with her words, “I feel liberated.” That’s what loving your body can do. It can make you not only confident, but liberated as well. So, take off your clothes and take a good look…liberate yourself---and---look good naked!