Twenty Years Ago Today!

My son was born twenty years ago today. I can’t believe how quickly time has past. He was born at 2:43 in the afternoon, which no one I worked with will ever forget as it was the EXACT moment the last bell of the school day sounded, my favorite time of the day=) I remember both grandfathers scurrying around the hospital nursery, twenty-pound video cameras in hand trying to out do the other at the art of video-documenting this momentous event. You see Chad was the very first grandchild on either side of the family.

For choosing to get married terribly young, I did make the decision to wait seven years before starting a family. Chad’s father and I had the blessing of cultivating our relationship before beginning a family and when it was time for the arrival of our first child, we couldn’t have been more excited or more ready.

The past twenty years have flown by. I have had the privilege of watching my little boy grow into an amazing young man. Life has been blessed, but not always easy. Forced to become the “man of the house” way too young, Chad stepped confidently into the responsibility with honor. Through thick and thin, he has learned to discern and accept what life has thrown his way.

Watching as he maneuvers each life experience and as he melds his knowledge of the world with what is good and right, has been a journey worth experiencing. Chad explores wholeheartedly his future; never dismissing any of life's possibilities. “Difficult” or “demanding” don’t seem to impede his vision. I also observe the way he loves, and am thankful for the years of influence his father obviously had upon the way he respects, honors and is devoted to another.

There is no instruction manual that accompanies children. You dedicate them to God in front of witnesses, knowing they aren't yours to begin with. You do the best you can, hoping they grow into stable, secure adults. You cherish each moment and pray you don’t squander the limited time you have to guide them, yet all too soon they are grown up. Today, I honor my son on his 20th birthday: a man who is one of the brightest lights in my life. I am sure his father is looking down with pride, cheering him on and knowing the impact Chad will have on his world. That is his legacy.

Learning Styles and an Epiphany

Earlier this year, my students completed a portion of a learning profile to help me not only get to know them better, but also to guide my mode of instruction. As they completed an “All About Me” poster, a segment of the poster was set aside for them to record their learning styles. In a nutshell, they were to choose which analogy best described them as learners. Here were their choices with very simplified definition….

Paper clips are mastery learners, organized and attentive to detail.
Teddy bears are interpersonal learners and relationship driven.
Magnifying lens seek understanding through questioning.
Slinkys are self-expressive, creative and high-energy learners.

I shared these traits with my students; stressing that one was not BETTER than the other, only DIFFERENT. This may have been the most important lesson I taught all year. I then asked them to discern what type of learner they thought I was---99 percent said “SLINKY”. They were right. When analyzing other teachers in our building, the students were equally insightful and recognized where each teacher fell on the spectrum as a learner. We discussed what this meant for them as students (for example a Slinky in a Paper clip’s classroom) and especially what it meant about the way each of us learns. I had one student say, “Geez, this makes perfect sense. I sure could have used this information last year. It would have saved me a lot of time in detention.” Everyone giggled—even me.

What I didn’t tell them is how the “normal” (I know, that’s an oxymoron) classroom is made up ….
33-35% are paper clips
18% are magnifying lens
33-35% teddy bears
18% Slinkies
Interesting to say the least. These categories not only define the classroom, but also define the workplace, church, or social group.

Now, be this as it may, each learning-style brings certain challenges to the classroom. “Paper clips" learn step by step; "magnifying len"s learn doubt by doubt. "Teddy Bears "want everyone to feel comfortable and worry more about the emotional well being of others. "Slinkies" need movement and choice. Can you see the challenge?

Many dropouts are Slinkies, because school doesn’t tend to lend itself to their needs. With this in mind, I turn to my last hour class of seventh graders. After the first week of school, I was convinced that these students were going to be the end of me. Engaging them is exhausting and motivating them seems impossible. Now I know why---of the 15---12 are Slinkies. What’s worse—they have a Slinky teacher.

Now, several months later—we have grown to understand each other and I can’t wait for my seventh hour to arrive. Slinkies—unite!!!

Pushed Out of the Nest

My first post at “50-something Moms Blog” went up today. This is my maiden voyage outside of my personal “blog-sphere” and hopefully the first step to writing outside the box. I would like to give a BIG shout out to Ann at Anniegirl, for giving me this big push "out of the nest" and supplied me the connection to this fabulous group of women writers. Thank you so much Ann. You are a true inspiration.

I am contracted to write at least write two posts a month, so that means deadlines---I know what you’re thinking; “Marsha doesn’t do deadlines”, but this will develop the discipline I believe writing requires. The hardest task has been to write a bio for myself. Have you ever had to come up with an "essay" introducing yourself? It isn't easy. You want to include the important information while sounding chic and credible at the same time. You have to interject just enough humor (or sarcasm) without coming off as "trivial". Anyway, if you have a moment check out the site and let me know what you think. On second thought, let me know what you think as long as what you think is positive.

It's a Family Affair

Rosanne’s post about “Aunt Jenny…Ten Year’s Younger”, got me thinking about television shows I enjoyed when I was young. I had a great conversation with her as we reminisced about television lore. One of my favorites was “Family Affair”. Monday nights were sacred, as I would make sure to be home for every episode. I longed to live in a penthouse apartment on Fifth Avenue with Uncle Bill and Mr. French. The closest I ever came to any semblance of this type of life is that my nephews call me Aunt Sissie (not Cissy, like the show—but close).

Consequently, I ordered all 5 disc of the first season of “Family Affair” from Netflix. I have been watching each episode with a nostalgic eye and expected to persuade the boys to watch it with me again, for posterity---most likely won’t happen, but I will give it a shot.

I made several observations while watching disc one that were NEVER apart of my childhood memories of “Family Affair”, perhaps age and prudence has more to do with my insights than anything else. In the very first episode, Uncle Bill returns from a business trip abroad. Mr. French, being his “gentleman’s gentleman”, begins reviewing Bill’s itinerary---while Uncle Bill is taking a bath (yes, an odd scene today). Of course Uncle Bill smokes on the terrace—a HUGE “no-no”, and in another scene, Buffy, is being dried off after a bath—totally naked. Even at 6 years old, you don’t see that on television today. It made me realize that we have lost societal innocence – for lack of a better term. A case could be made for this being a good thing as well as a sad state of affairs.

The most prevalent memory, which has tugged at my heartstrings, is that of Mrs. Beasley. One of my prized possessions as a child was my Mrs. Beasley Doll. If you remember, Buffy NEVER went ANYWHERE without Mrs. Beasley. They were constant companions. When I viewed Buffy carrying her beloved doll around the penthouse, it was like connecting with a long-lost friend. I am not sure what happened to my Mrs. Beasley, but I would love to have her today--“My bestest and closest friend,” as Buffy would say.

It is interesting how pop-culture defines our memories. We recall songs, television programs or movies that mark our most treasured life experiences. How about today? What will mark the life experiences of our children? The Family Guy? The Simpsons? Desperate Housewives? Hmmm….

They Never Cease to Amaze Me!

I hate it when I underestimate kids. I have been a teacher long enough to know better. This past week has provided me with incredible insight from my students. Following my personal exercise in choosing a touchstone word (see previous entry) and creating a vision board, I decided to present the same task to my students. What I received was beyond my wildest expectations.

To the left is a photo of a few touchstone words my middle school students created (wish I could have photographed all 120).

In addition, I asked the students to write several sentences explaining why they selected the word—here are a few responses.
My touchstone word for 2009 is…
…acceptance because I want to accept the way I am. I am weird, funny, pretty smart and cool to be around and I want to accept that for a change. I also want the people around me to accept that this is who I am.
…change because I go through a strict routine each day and repeat many things. Finding new friends, being adventurous and showing willingness would all be good changes for me.
…meditate because I need more focus and peace. I need to learn to focus on one thing.
…generosity because I think I need to be more giving. I could help out with things more at home and give up my own wishes to make others happy.
…trust because I need to gain my parents trust back. I also need to gain more trust from my bus driver.
…confidence because if I don’t start believing in myself I will never succeed.

The honesty of adolescent children mystifies me. They can peg themselves, as well as the adults in their lives, with more precision than any “shrink” and are far less expensive though more blunt and less congnisant of your feelings.

The next class period, following our selection of touchstone words, we discussed “vision”. We talked about what it meant to look ahead to the future and make decisions based on what we want to become, how we want to live, what we want to possess etc… I then presented to them my 2009 Vision Board (aka christinekane.com) and explained the importance of having a visual reminder of our hopes and dreams. One student said, "Yeah, so we won't forget, right Mrs. C-P? 'Cause I forget or lose something everyday."

"EXACTLY!" I retorted as I let them loose to create their own vision for 2009. I wish I could have filmed the presentations of their boards. It was inspiring to watch kids articulate their dreams and “get” what it means to have vision. Many of them included their touchstone word in their vision boards; spoke of wanting to be more environmentally conscious, or friendlier; of wanting to vacation in the Bahamas or go on a cruise; of desiring an iPod, new cell phone or paintball gun. More than anything, they seemed to enjoy exploring the vision and creating a reminder of what to strive for this year. Yes, they never cease to amaze me.

Touchstone Word of the Year

My disillusionment with New Year’s Resolutions has caused me to search for an alternative goal-centered activity; one that would be more meaningful, less cumbersome and easier to attain. In my quest, I stumbled onto an idea from a fellow writer’s blog (christinekane.com). Her challenge is to come up with one word that defines this next year—a touchstone.

This seemed a daunting task, to come up with one word to define my entire year, but on Ms. Kane’s blogsite I found an exhaustive list of powerful words from which to choose. Normally, I am a very impulsive person; when given a task I generally act quickly and decisively without much forethought. Not this time—this time, I scoured the list. I studied it and even meditated on a few of the words for inspiration; hoping one would stand out as an obvious choice. Instead, several words jumped out at me—words like: integrity, courage, discipline, hope—all good, perfectly applicable to my life, but none of them seemed to encompassed my conception of a 2009 touchstone. So in a bit of frustration, I put the idea on the back burner and decided to give myself some time to really think it over.

Following dinner at a friend’s home this weekend, our gracious host gave Kent and I a small booklet entitled Continuous Revival by Norman Grubb. What makes this book even more of a treasure is that our host highlighted portions of the book that resonated with him. It was while reading this modest, but powerful book that it became clear what my touchstone word would be for 2009. It was if the word jumped off the page and right into my heart.

REVIVAL

According to Grubb, revival simply means, “the reviving of dead areas in our lives”. He continues to reveal that contrary to our human limitations, revival is NOT merely something we pray for and wait to occur, but “revival in its truest sense is an everyday affair right down within the reach of everyday folk-to be experienced each day in our hearts, homes, churches, and fields of service.” Yes, it is clear: revival is just what my life needs. In 2009, REVIVAL will be at the core of my actions. Renewing those dead areas in my life-the areas in my heart, home, church, job and life which I have allowed to lie dormant for far too long will now be my focus.

Revival of relationships
Revival of a healthy lifestyle
Revival of spiritual aspects of life
Revival of service
Revival of purpose
Revival of talents
Revival of rest
Revival…

If you decide to do the same, and create a touchstone word for the year, let me know. Post it in the comments or create a link back.

Best of 2008

Marsha's Best of 2008

Best Event of My Year: March Wedding – our simple and intimate ceremony was by far the highlight of my year. Living life with Kent continues to be “the best”.

Best Family Event: Family reunion in Arkansas- there is something about connecting with your roots and those folks who share your heritage.

Best Read: Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett – best book by far that I have read in years

Best Surprise Movie: Slumdog Millionaire – surprise movie of the year. I loved it from beginning to end.

Best in Television: House/24 – plain great writing and acting

Best Decision: Starting to run/bike/swim –. I just need to get back to it—soon.

Best Monthly Events: Book Clubs – The best-buddies and the church-ladies are both the fabulous.

Best Comeback: Coffeehouse Theology Sunday School Class – for the first time in 20 years, I look forward to going to Sunday school every week. I didn’t appreciate how intelligent, insightful and wise my mother is until having the opportunity to sit under her teaching.

Best in Music: Lenny Kravitz –It’s Time for a Love Revolution

Best in Christian music: Chris Sligh – Running Back to You

Best in Education: PBIS (Positive Behavioral Interventions and Support) – most effective education practices in my career. Of course it is because at my school there is a total buy-in AND an exceptional PBIS team.

Best Card Game: A tie between Dominion and Great Dalmuti (check them out at The Boardroom)

Best Strategy Game: Pillars of the Earth

Now it is your turn. What would your best of 2008 list look like (or your worse). Either link back or post in the comments. Com'on now---share---you know you want to.

Status Bar as a Learning Tool?

I love Facebook. It is, for the social butterfly in me, the best way to keep up with and connect with folks. Little blurbs of activity plaster the pages of Facebook and through multi-clicking of the mouse I am privy to a snippet into the lives of those I care about or am networked with in some fashion. The idea of the “status bar” fascinates me most. From the “status bar”, I know if Marc is watching football or playing games. I know if Sandra is off to the store or paying bills. I know if Evan is watching “Pinky and the Brain” or studying theology. My question is, do I need to know this? Or perhaps am I looking at this “status” tool totally wrong. Perhaps the “status” bar is really, well—an art form. Stay with me here…

As someone who values “good” writing, I find it challenging to create a succinct, informative, yet voice-filled “status”. It is remarkable what you can learn about a person through his/her “status”. Here are some examples:

A.B - wants to know why a woman in her 30's still loves White Castle cheeseburgers.
C.D. - is glad the holidays are finally over.
E.F.- is praying as I watch our teens ski down the big hill...no ER visits this time...please!
G.H.- wishes just the kids could go back to school on Monday and I still could have a few days by MYSELF!!!!!
I.J- is home. R. is fine. We are telling him "chicks dig scars." All is well.
K.L.- is watching house in japanese videos cuz he's so desperate to see season four.

Each status tells a story or is a window into the personality of its author. It is as if each author is crafting, for his audience, a concise synopsis of his current condition. Isn’t that what writing is all about - creating voice for your reader so that he wants to read on, investigate further or simply care about what you are writing, even if it is written in the vernacular?

Perhaps, as educators, we shouldn’t dismiss unconventional writing forums as rubbish, but instead embrace them as potential learning opportunities. How about a mini-lesson on writing an effective “status” on a social network? Talk about engaging the students—now there’s a topic that would grip their attention.

No one can deny that children are writing more today than any generation before. It may not be the writing of our ancestors (or even our parents), but we must acknowledge, as well as address, all writing forums as opportunities to hone the craft.

To Make an End Is to Make a Beginning

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
- T.S. Eliot, from his poem, “Little Gidding.”

Ah—a new year: 2009. Traditionally, at this point, we create grandiose promises to others and ourselves that we will somehow live better in 2009 than we did last year. While this is a noble undertaking, the mere completion of such lists often leaves us with feelings of apprehension, as we seldom are able to live up to the expectations we set for ourselves. Every year I do this. I create a list of ambitious goals designed to construct a more fulfilled life for the next year; by March we are discouraged and disheartened because we have failed so miserably in my attempt to accomplish our set goals.

2008 was a memorable year. I experienced great personal triumphs and few personal disappointments. I climbed to the apex of joy and fell to the depths of discouragement. I, at times, was proud of my life choices and at others extremely embarrassed by them. Thank heavens, as T.S. Eliot so eloquently wrote, “last year’s words belong to last year’s language”. Though we reap the consequences of our choices, we also are granted a chance to begin anew.

This year, instead of creating a list of resolutions, I wish to “await another voice”. I aspire to be open to 2009 and whatever God has for me with only one goal--that by the close of 2009, I can say that I have lived the year with honor and integrity. This is not taking the “easy way out”, on the contrary. It will require far more from me than merely checking off a list of resolutions; it addresses the core of possibilities. It takes into consideration who I am and aspires to the person I can become.

With the end of 2008, comes the hope of 2009; “to make an end is to make a beginning". Here's to our beginnings...

Prepare the Way for the Lord

Here is the second advent devotional I was asked to write this season:

John the Baptist Prepares the Way - Luke 3:1-6 (New International Version) In the fifteenth year of the reign of Tiberius Caesar—when Pontius Pilate was governor of Judea, Herod tetrarch of Galilee, his brother Philip tetrarch of Iturea and Traconitis, and Lysanias tetrarch of Abilene—during the high priesthood of Annas and Caiaphas, the word of God came to John son of Zechariah in the desert. He went into all the country around the Jordan, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. As is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the prophet: "A voice of one calling in the desert, 'Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him. Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low. The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth. And all mankind will see God's salvation.'

John the Baptist was called from his desert dwelling place to “prepare the way for the Lord.” What a tremendous responsibility fell upon this man; yet we are called to do the same. In the midst of our desert, we are called to prepare for God to use our pain for His glory. This is a conscious choice we make. John was called from the desert, but it was only by making the choice to heed the call and begin his ministry that John made an impact on the world. Through John’s obedience, the world was prepared to accept the Messiah.

When my spouse of 24 years died suddenly, leaving me widowed at 43 years old with two sons to rear; I entered the desert of my life. My identity changed in the blink of an eye. I was no longer married, no longer someone’s spouse and the secure identity I possessed for 24 years, was no longer mine to claim. A new identity defined me. I was a single parent; a widow and found these identities awkward and uncomfortable. Wandering the “crooked roads” and “rough ways”, I questioned whether life would ever be straight or smooth again.

In the midst of my hurt and disappointment, God began to call me out of the desert; urging me to prepare the way for Him to work through my life. I couldn’t change my life history. I couldn’t change my circumstances, but with God’s help I could change how the story continued. Making this choice freed my life to have new meaning. Pain no longer defined me, temporal titles no longer mattered; the mountains became low, the crooked roads I had been traveling grew to be much straighter and the rough ways became smooth.

It is while we wander in the desert of life that God often calls us. He calls us to prepare the way for His Son to work through our pain and be glorified in our surrender. Through our obedience in the desert place, God can use our circumstances not only bring healing to our soul, but to lead others to Jesus and his love for us. Just as John the Baptist was called to prepare the way for the Messiah to come and dwell among us, so we are also called.

No Vacancy!

The NO vacancy sign is lit in front of our home. We are officially at full capacity. When I purchased this house three years ago, I had difficulty justifying the need for five bedrooms, but I always wanted a “study” and thought it was important to have a “guest room” for occasional visitors, so I was able to justify the purchase. Now I am sure why I “needed” to purchase a house too big for us at the time—to fill it up.

Two of my stepchildren came to live with us this past month. Though temporary, it has been an adjustment for all of us. I know that I have looked upon this new state of affairs pragmatically. I understood it would be difficult at times. I understood that there would be adjustments. I understood that everyone would have to be flexible. What I underestimated, but should not have, was the many blessings that often accompany graciousness.

One manifestation of generosity is evident in the loving nature of my family. They have accepted, valued, and even loved my new step family. My mother, as the matriarch, has covered our situation in prayer. Dad has been encouraging; always accepting as usual. The brothers have done what they do best—created opportunities for the Z and J to connect, with the family, with friends and with the church, of course this is accomplished through playing board games, but it works.

The outcome of embracing the boys into our lives has been that, though cumbersome at times, the transition has been smoother than I anticipated. Do I think this is it; that now we will live in some euphoric commune with little struggle? Not a chance. I recognize that we will be unable to circumvent frustration, irritation and confrontation. What I am hopeful of is that when confronted with these circumstances we will act in a loving manner that strengthens our character and fortifies our faith.

I have heard it said that when we become closer to God, we do not become more spiritual, we become more loving. Delving into the quintessence of God and who he is, radically transforms us and creates within us a less selfish, more generous, more productive and more loving spirit—the essential qualities that sustain us through ANY life circumstance--especially those that stretch us and those which call us to a sacrifice beyond what we ever imagined.

As a retrospect---this I know for sure...

Tuesday Triviality - Book Meme

I have been tagged by my brother Evan. This meme is unusual in that it doesn't follow the "normal" meme pattern.

Here's the way it works. Apparently, I grab the closest book to me, which happens to be Devotional Classics: Selected Readings for Individuals and Groups Edited by Richard J. Foster and James Bryan Smith (sounds more theological than it really is). I then turn to page 123 and find the fifth sentence. After that, I post the three following sentences. Here goes...

"He was well versed in Greek philosophy, notably Platonism and Stoicism, but the basis of his thought was rooted in the Bible.
Gregory believed that the main use of the Bible was not for historical reflection but rather for growth in virtue. He and the other Church fathers used the Bible and its characters to teach us how to grow closer to God, how to "elevate" the soul to God."

This was an introduction to the author Gregory of Nyssa (331-396) and his collection of devotions. What's more--now I have to look up: Platonism and Stoicism in the dictionary. Maybe Wikipedia will do...
I am more of an "arm chair theologian".

I am not sure what the point of this meme is, but...

Now I am tagging: Tanja, Annie, Shelly and Rob

Advent - Transformed Through Waiting

I was asked to write a couple of advent devotionals for our church this season--there is the first installment.

Jeremiah 33:14-16 (New Living Translation)

“The day will come, says the Lord, when I will do for Israel and Judah all the good things I have promised them.

“In those days and at that time
I will raise up a righteous descendant from King David’s line.
He will do what is just and right throughout the land.
In that day Judah will be saved,
and Jerusalem will live in safety.
And this will be its name:
‘The Lord Is Our Righteousness.’

This time of the year often takes on a totally different sentiment than we intend for it to possess. Life gets crazy; we become busier than ever and somewhere in the midst of living our life, we forget that this is a season of great hope and anticipation. As followers of Christ, we want to believe that Christmas holds spiritual meaning, but finding the time to explore this significance doesn’t always fit into our busy holiday schedule.

As Jeremiah prepares God’s people for the eventual coming of the Messiah, he implies that waiting for the Lord’s coming is not a passive pursuit. We are challenged to an act of waiting that is fervent and active. Advent is not just about waiting for God to fulfill his promise. It is about being transformed through waiting.

The challenge this season is to not only understand, but also acknowledge the fact that God’s promises are true; that we can have confidence in His word as we allow this fact to restore us. Pain, disappointment, regret and heartache are aspects of life as we wait, but hope is alive within us because Jesus provided the supreme sacrifice on the cross. It is through His sacrifice that we are assured eternal life and afforded the opportunity to anticipate the day the Lord will return

“We must accept finite disappointment but we must never lose infinite hope,” Martin Luther King Jr.

Death at Walmart--So Senseless!

What have we come to? Stores open at 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning; only stocking 6 to 8 of the “bargains” advertised in the flyer—then we are SHOCKED when 2000 people await the opportunity to buy a big screen television at a bargain basement price, but what is the cost??—a human life??? How insane is that? Surely these people at Walmart feel all kinds of remorse – the kind that doesn’t allow you to sleep or even get through the day, but alas that isn't even the case. This Walmart worker was someone’s son—perhaps someone’s husband or someone’s father. What is WRONG with our society that someTHING is worth the price of some ONE?
USA TODAY ARTICLE

Happiness Doubled by Wonder

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton, English writer (1874-1936)

This Thanksgiving I am not only thankful, I am truly grateful. I say this at a point in my life when one stepson moved in a week ago and the second one arrives on Monday. That will make a total of 5 males and one female in this household--5 adults and one adolescent living under the same roof and I am “doubled by wonder”? Why? Because God has chosen me to find and experience another great love, He has offered up the opportunity make a difference in the lives of those around me and has given me some sort of supernatural energy that is, most definitely, a prerequisite for my predicament.

I have never been one to take the easy road—how boring that would be? I have been known to claim God’s promises and then “test” Him or perhaps it is God who tests me. Whichever is the case, this Thanksgiving I honor the love that permeates my selfishness and calls me to a higher plane—a love that is sufficient and graceful--a love that puts what I want or need in second place to the needs of the ones I love. A love that I am incapable of, but with God through me is totally possible.

"By HIS own hand he leadth me"... as nostalgic as it seems---"This I know for sure."

Tuesday Triviality - Three Decades of NOT Being Cool!

Taking my lead from Annie at Anniegirl1138, here is the Tuesday Triviality...
I was NOT cool in the past. I was lucky that my high school was known for music instead of sports, so for that--I was fortunate.

In the 1970’s
I was a “yell leader” for my school. This was for the girls who didn't have a chance to make cheerleading.
I was the treasurer of the student body
I listened to the radio non-stop.
I weighed 135 pounds at 5’11” and thought I was fat.
I played with Barbies until moving to Hastings, NE where my best friend thought they were lame, so I quit.
I rode a purple Schwinn banana seat bike.
I lived in a small town in Nebraska and walked/rode everywhere in town—it was really awesome.
I was not allowed to wear a halter-top—so I definitely missed my chance.
I didn’t go to any high school dance, including prom because, at the time, it was “against my religion”—now I look back---how stupid.
I was NOT allowed to watch “Family”, but would sneak a peak every once in a while.

In the 1980’s
I was selected for an elite Madrigals group at my high school and then--we moved my senior year.
Graduated from high school and then university.
Voted for Ronald Regan (and would again).
Listened to the Doobie Brothers and Eagles non-stop.
Stayed up to watch Princess Diana’s wedding at 4 in the morning.
Watched Dallas and Dynasty and could tell you who killed JR in 1991.
I didn’t miss “Days of Our Lives”
Drove an ancient VW hatchback that didn’t have heat—I used a scraper to scrap the INSIDE of my front window.
Met Don and married him the same year as Diana married Prince Charles—I was much more successful with love, but ended up having to live the same loss.
Gave birth to my first child, just as the decade ended.
Graduated from college and got my first teaching job (which I still hold today).

In the 1990’s
I lived through the Midwest Flood of ‘93.
I became a mother for the second time.
I traveled for the first time in my life to Washington D.C with a group of 30 middle school students---TWICE.
I thought I knew it all…and maybe I did then????
I gained 130 pounds, but didn’t really have an image issue—go figure.

In the 2000’s
I got one master’s degree and then decided to get another one.
I had gastric bypass and lost 140 pounds.
I lost my husband and my identity.
I bought a home by myself for the first time.
I traveled a road I never intended to.
I began to write again by starting a blog.
I met and married my second husband.
I became an instant mother of six and a grandmother.
I took up running, biking and swimming—a healthy lifestyle for the first time.
I decided that it isn’t about me, but about my influence…geezz…it took long enough.

What about you?

Cardboard Testimonies

Inspired by the "Cardboard Testimonites" at Hillside church, our local, ministry team created a similar experience at our church today. Kent and I could not pass up the opportunity to give God the glory for what has happened in our lives.


After you view the video, you will understand our testimony:

OUR plans shattered by the death of a spouse.
Living GOD’s plan for the future.

I wasn’t prepared for the wave of emotion that seemed to overwhelm my family, my friends and me upon experiencing this moving event. Kent and I recognize God’s hand in our situation, but have been hesitant to claim it—as we did today through the cardboard testimonies.

The biggest blessings came from my stepson, who came to live with us this week. I am encouraged by the possibilities this “new start” will afford him and the opportunities for growth it will afford all of us. On the way to get into the car after the morning’s service, he told Kent that he was moved by our testimony and that our words were not only our (Kent and my) declaration, but also that of the entire family. When Kent recounted this incident to me, tears filled my eyes and my heart was completely filled with the promise that we are not in control, but God is…what a relief! Blessings abound!

How about you? What is your cardboard testimony?

Everything I Know About Life--I Learned From a Middle School Basketball Game

Chandler’s first middle school basketball game was tonight. He started at center. On this, his birthday, Don would have been so very proud of him. Chandler had a cheering section this evening. Kent and I attended, Chad and Joy, Grandma and Grandpa Abla, and Charleen were all present for his debut. As I sat watching Chandler play, I was surprised to find how much the game resembled lessons I have learned in life, so in honor of Chandler’s first game, I bring to you…

Everything I know about life I learned from a middle school basketball game.

I learned that…

• You wont always be first string, sometimes your job will be to come in after the all-stars are tired and take the game from there. There is no glory in this except the self-satisfaction of knowing that without you the game wouldn’t be possible.

• You will always have folks to cheer you on, even if you totally mess things up.

• You may have killjoys in your life who are pessimistic about pretty much everything—stay away from them—they affect your positive mojo.

• Sometimes you have a good game where everything goes perfectly—you are in a zone; then there are other times when you couldn’t make a basket if your life depended on it.

• Most of the rather big mistakes you make are soon forgotten by others, but remain in your memory forever--what good does that do?

• Sometimes you get a “bad call”, but there is the benefit of the ability to blame someone else for it (referees).

• Guarding yourself from injury is the first line in self-preservation.

• You can’t make it to the end of the game without your teammates. It takes five to play basketball. It takes more to play in real life.

• No one else will remember the score in a week, so perhaps you shouldn’t keep it. Sometimes we require more from others than we do ourselves. We remember the hurts and the offenses against us far more than they merit our time or energy.

• Sometimes the game isn’t about the game. Chandler played a rather seasoned team tonight. He calls the Monticello Sages the Monti-steroid Sages because their 7th grade center is 6’2”. Anyway, after a crushing defeat he went to the concession stand and began to make friends with the other team—it’s his nature. For him, it is more about the relationships than the game – I couldn’t be more proud.

• It is essential to have a strong coach, one who has played the game before you; one who owns the playbook; who encourages you; who calls you to discipline and finds value in who you are.
  

I am sure there are many more life lessons to be gleaned, but these are but a few of my personal insights. Care to add more???

Tuesday Trivialty is BACK--Take the Challenge

Complete the following task with a word beginning with the same letter as your first name—common—it’s just for FUN!!!

1. What is your name: Marsha
2. A four letter word: Mall
3. A vehicle: Mustang
4. A city: Madrid
5. A boy's name: Michael
6. A girl's name: Melinda
7. Drink: Mountain Dew
8. An occupation: Monk
9. Something you wear: Muffs
10. A Celebrity: Madonna
11. A food: Macaroni and Cheese
12. Something found in a bathroom: Make-up
13. Reason for being late: My car wouldn’t start.
14. Something you shout: My goodness!
15. An animal: Mongoose
16. A body part: Mind
17. Word to describe yourself: Meaningful
18. A favorite word: Miracle
19. A movie: Mama Mia
20. A book you enjoyed: My Sister’s Keeper by Jody Picault

Leave your answers on a comment or refer back to your blog!! Enjoy!!

The Art of Racing Against the Wind

A couple of weeks ago Kent and I participated in the “Spooky-Du(althon)”. It was a 1.8-mile run, 20-mile bike ride followed by a 1.8 mile run. My initial intention was to complete the entire race myself. As has been chronicled here ad nauseum, running is not my forte; I don’t really even like it. So when I noticed there was a “team category” for this race, I jumped at the chance for my husband to complete the run and I would complete the biking portion of the race.

Though it was unseasonably cold the morning of the race, we were filled with anticipation . The 1.8-mile run curved through Weldon Springs State Park (a beautiful venue) while the bike portion of the race was twenty miles through the Central Illinois countryside balanced with hills, curves and flatland. I was confident about the ride, as I am a much stronger cyclist than runner, but when confronted with the added hardship of 20 mph winds directly in my face, the first ten miles was brutal and my confidence began to diminish. Even seasoned tri-athletes said it was a challenging ride. Many times during those first ten miles I simply wanted to quit, or get off the bike and walk. I can’t remember ever challenging myself as hard physically.

As I approached the turn around, the front-runners in the race passed me going the opposite direction. I looked up to find smiles on their faces and an occasional encouraging “thumbs up”. It was obvious that if I could simply make it to the turn-around I would find great relief. The race totally changed at the turn-around. Heading back to the starting line, with the wind at my back, I was able to ride effortlessly much faster than my average speed and I felt a smile replacing the scowl on my face. Crossing the starting line was sweet and more rewarding than I can say.

Often, our lives simulate a race against the wind. We find ourselves maneuvering the hills and curves of life that we never dreamed would impede our journey. Adversity mounts to the point of breaking our spirit and we simply want to quit, or at least get off the “ride” for a while. Facing life’s trials is not for the faint of heart. The knowledge that the “turn-around” is within reach, where the wind will carry us to a more contented place, somehow keeps us going. Finding the courage, energy and strength to merely make it to the turn-around is the challenge, but we do make it; where the road gets easier, and the ride sweeter, where the smile returns, and contentment rests…that is…until the next race.