“I want to be them someday,” I expressed upon entering the locker room at the local YMCA. These older patrons are admirable. I am even jealous of them. I want to be as comfortable with my body as they obviously are.
They don’t have perfect bodies—far from it. They have lumps and bumps; gravity has certainly taken its toll, but they strut around the locker room as if they were Heidi Klum. I, in contrast, am in the corner of the locker room with the towel in my mouth covering my less than attractive body; the twenty pounds I have gained since my hysterectomy sits on my body like a ball and chain, while these women-totally naked- stop to chat. It is an enigma to me. How do you get to the point where you are comfortable with your body AS IT IS? I am not there yet.
This I know for sure.
3 comments:
In a locker room I am surprising okay with myself. In a swim suit too though I can't tell you why. Some of this happened during my supreme-o fit days back in my early 30's but much is a result of Will and now Rob. They made me see myself as beautiful because they were/are amazing men. I think sometimes it is when we stop looking at ourselves through our own eyes and use the eyes of those who love us that change comes. I bet most of your older locker room women are in that place.
Marsha, now I know why you asked me if I had read your latest blog.
LOL!
I am comfortable to a point, but know that I will never have the athletic body I had while playing volleyball at the U of I. Ha, I worked out about 4 hours a day and as soon as one Big Ten season ended, we had two weeks off and back to working out even harder. I don't want to EVER work out that hard, but I do miss the days of rock hard abs and muscles. Leanne said to me the other night, hey mom, want to get those arms looking less like SILLY PUTTY? Now Robo chimed in too. Gee, my two DI ahtletes giving me crap about my lack of muscles! I laughed and told them that for a 45 year old woman with two kids, my body was not THAT BAD!!! I am sure I would have cried when I was younger, but I just appreciate that I can still wear what I own that is hanging in my closet! Bumps and lumps are part of the territory!
Love you tons!
Suzanne
I am more comfortable out of clothes in a locker room than in them and out in public, probably because no one expects you to be transmitting any kind of image in the locker room. The time I spent at a women-only gym was an eye-opener. So many different kinds of bodies, and not one like mine, and yet few were perfect. They were lived in. I think, on my better, more self-actualized days, I realize that bodies are just meat. They're good for what they do, not how they look. My body can give a hug as well as a supermodel; even better, maybe--lots of softness. :)
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