Breathings of the Heart...

A Time for Change...

2010-10-03T19:25:00.000-05:00

I have been a BlogSpot blogger since 2006. It has been the home to many a penned word through my journey to where I am today. As many of you, who read often, have noticed I have not written very much in the past year. In hopes of reviving my lost passion, my husband guided me to purchase my own domain name bringing autonomy to my writing. It is with great excitement that I launch my new blogging site at Breathingsoftheheart.com I have now transferred all of my writings from this site to the new domain and have added a new post today. Please follow me to the new site....

Breathings of the Heart

Seasons of Solace by Janelle Hertzler

2010-05-04T22:24:00.001-05:00

I was fortunate to review Janelle Hertzler's book Seasons of Solace. Here is an interview with Janelle I want to share with you. I found this book of photography and poetry to be of great solace to me as I still live within the parameters of grief. Janelle's interview with me should be posted on her website this week: http://www.journey-through-grief.com/bereavement.html

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Tell me about your book, Seasons of Solace.

Seasons of Solace could be compared to a journal through my grief following the death of my husband to a drunk driver. The book is made up of poetry and photography from my experience. The poetry is narrative, slice-of-life style of poems that give windows into the raw emotions of the grief journey. The photos are images from nature that speak to some element of my emotions at various points along the way. I didn’t set out to write a book. I set out to find a way to express my pain and find healing.

The poems and photographs in the book are beautiful. How did you get started with poetry and photography?

A year after my husband died, I was sitting by a river watch my son play with his cousin. Sitting there, my attention was drawn to a brilliant, red leaf lying on the stones. I was struck by how beautiful it was in its final weeks of being a leaf. It touched something deep within me, and I couldn’t leave without taking a photo of it. It began a journey to find images in nature that spoke to my experiences.

I began writing poetry around the same time. I was taking a graduate class in the area of trauma healing. Our professor told us that we create literal grooves in our brain as we tell ourselves the same story over and over. She then invited us to various exercises that helped us tell our stories in new ways. The one that stuck for me was telling my story in less than 100 words. It evolved into poetry because you can say a lot more with 100 words of poetry than in prose.

Why did you choose to use these mediums to tell your story?

There is a story about a dancer who is asked the meaning of a particular dance. She responds that if she could explain it in words, she wouldn’t have had to dance. That is what the photography is for me. There is so much in grief that truly defies words and thus, for me, photography was a visual medium that helped me touch some of those word-defying places.

Poetry creates images with words. For me, full sentences and paragraphs couldn’t hold the vividness and depth of my emotions during grief.

How did writing the book help you on the path to recovery?

Shock and trauma can cause a lot of emotion to be trapped inside the body. Many of the images in the poems are scenes from the early days of shock that I lived through over and over as I replayed them in my mind. The photos and poems in Seasons of Solace were a way of validating that emotion and documenting it outside of my body, so that I don’t have to carry it around with me anymore.

It is freeing to know that I can open a journal and go back to my story any time I need to, and then I can close it and move on with my life. This isn’t to say that I do not still have bad days, but these experiences can also be recorded and held in a space outside of my internal being.

What is the main message you want readers to take away from the book? And how have readers responded to the book so far?

A friend of mine loaned his copy of Seasons of Solace to a recent widow. A week later when he was visiting, he asked if she was finished with it. She asked him if she could keep it a while longer because she pages through it every day. So he gave it to her.

My hope is that Seasons of Solace provides a reflective and healing space for people in whatever loss or difficulty they are facing. Although based on my own story, the poetry touches on universal themes of sorrow, anger and struggle to find healing. The nature photography allows pain and beauty to mingle, reminding us that nature is continually renewing itself and bringing forth new life.

Blowing Out the Candle...At Least At One End

2010-04-06T22:20:00.000-05:00

I tend to over do it. No matter what I do. I don't set out to overextend myself. It just happens. There are so many areas of my life that I value. From my career to my family and friends to my interests I want to make sure I give a “slice of life” to all of these ventures. The trouble comes when all these “worlds” collide because I have not chosen a balanced path—hence--where I find myself today.

I just returned from a short vacation where I was able to gain a bit of perspective. I am in a different place than many of my friends. I am the only one of my close friends who still has children at home. Chanman is in every sport and active, which I love, but it takes a certain energy to keep up. Carpool, games, meetings and practices scatter every day. Then, I am a full time educator who needs to spend time planning and preparing for my students. Additionally, I am co-president of our Education Association and feel this is an significant leadership position. Just when I think I may be released from the ministry to those who have lost a mate, I realize this a major passion in my life. Not to mention the aspects of laundry, house work, exercise, keeping my marriage fresh, nurturing my spiritual life and being whole for my family and friends. SOMETHING has to change.

As I type these things I know that there are many of you who can so relate to what I am saying. The time has come to set priorities. It's time to stop burning the candle at both ends. The time has come to create a balance which can create a sane existance.

One thing that I need to let go of is stuff that doesn't matter-those peripheral obligations and relationships that may be worthy, but are not at the epicenter of my values. Next, I must decide what ventures I want to expend the most amount of energy. These areas are easy—my family, my friends, my classroom, my health and my passions. My goal should be to expends the greatest energy to the areas that will make the greatest difference years from now.

In practical terms this means some things will have to go, even some major commitments. I don't like making commitments and then changing my mind, but I believe this to be necessary. Do I think this is the last time in my life that I will be faced with making these decisions? Probably not, because this is not the first time.

Apparently Buddha had it right "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly". I am choosing to begin to live “wisely and earnestly” and to burn out the candle, at least at one end.

Learning to Lose

2010-03-14T21:41:00.000-05:00

It is difficult to be in the stands during a game when the score is close. Nail biting begins, hearts begin to race, palms begin to sweat; sitting anxiously I await the outcome. It is even worse if one of my children happens to be on the team.

Chandler's middle school basketball team advanced to the regional finals this season. As the game went into its first overtime, I began biting my nails. When the second overtime clock began ticking; my heart began to race. But when the game went into triple overtime, I thought I was going to have to be removed by stretcher. At the end of the game we were left heartbroken; the boys lost by two points. Following the ceremonial, congratulatory team handshake the boys walked off the court, disappointed.

I wanted the basketball team to win that game, but not as much as Chandler. He could smell victory. It was right there for the taking, but in the last seconds it slipped away. For the first time, I saw 14 year old boys, who I had known since kindergarten, in tears. Loss is hard!

On the way out of the gymnasium, a grandfather of one of the players stopped me. He said, “I know sports is beneficial for these boys. They learn teamwork and perseverance, but most of all, sports teaches kids how to lose.”

I had never thought of sports in this light. As parents, we instinctively hope our children never have to deal with great disappointment, yet in our gut we know they must. It seems that children who are “rescued” from heartbreak and loss tend to “crash and burn” at the first sign of disappointment.

Imagining that the ride home with Chandler would be difficult, I began preparing my motherly pep talk which surely would change his disappointed affectation. I couldn't have been more mistaken. Instead, with head held high he jumped into the “mommy bus”, promptly announcing, “We have nothing to be ashamed of. We played a great game.”

I know that living through the small disappointments in life, gives way to developing the resilience needed to deal with huge ones. Strength and confidence comes not only from victories, but from knowing you can handle defeat. Perhaps true victory occurs when we experience loss and still are able to hold our head high and move on.

When Don died, my greatest fear was that my kids would be broken, but life had already taught them loss and disappointment. Though perhaps smaller in measure, the lessons were real nonetheless. When we are faced with adversity, heartbreak, disappointment or loss, victory is often found in the lessons learned.

2010-02-25T19:22:00.003-06:00

Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

by William Ernest Henley

WWJD - Haiti

2010-01-25T23:26:00.002-06:00

Facebook can be a riveting social networking tool. At times I find it fascinating and uplifting; other times I find it irritating and bothersome; then there are the times I find it down right infuriating. Tonight happened to be one of those moments.

There are many “cause” posts going around on Facebook-- paste "this" to your status if you support autism; paste "that" if you know a breast cancer survivor; paste "this" if you support children with special needs. I don't have a problem, in theory, with any of these “cause” posts, other than their lack of creativity or personal voice; they do serve as a "shout out" to causes important to the poster. HOWEVER, there was one of these cause-type posts today that has me dumbfounded and yes, my “panties are officially in a wad”. Here it is:
America: the only country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, elderly going without needed meds, and mentally ill without treatment - yet we have a benefit for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations. What about the people of USA?(99% of people won't have the guts to copy and repost)
Perhaps this is because 99% of Americans plain don't agree. What confounds me most about this post is when professing Christians, those who are called to be Christlike, post this as their status.

Someone please explain to me the Biblical basis for such convictions. Why is giving to Haitians mutually exclusive from taking care of those in America who are in need? Haiti is a nation, perhaps the poorest in the world, who is experiencing a most horrific calamity. With 150,000 dead and over a million homeless, their need is greater.

This fact does not absolve us from our responsibility at home, it simply means that for this moment in time we need to shift our focus globally. We have equal responsibility to both our nation and our global community. Can you imagine if Jesus were an American, perhaps your neighbor, do you think you would hear him say “know what, we need to be helping our own, not those people in Haiti”. Seems downright silly, doesn't it? Such attitudes don' seem to pass the WWJD litmus test.

1 John 3:17-18 If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.
Seems to me scripture is crystal clear. We have a responsibility to all those who are in need, WITHOUT judgment, without engaging some human filter of “who is more worthy” of our assistance, and without strings attached . It is also clear that we are to do more than talk-words are not only cheap, they don't get the job done. Which brings me to my own soul searching questions: when was the last time I had a homeless American in my home for a dinner, worked in a soup kitchen, helped at the local shelter or even did without, so that others might have food on the table?

Prov. 14:31 Anyone who oppresses the poor is insulting God who made them. To help the poor is to honor God.
My contention is that by abdicating our global responsibility and doing NOTHING for the Haitians we would be supporting their continued oppression therefore "insulting God". Shouldn't the richest country in the world be a the forefront of humanitarian aide to the poorest country? Moreover, shouldn't those who love God and are called to be Christlike; those rich in grace, who bask in the benefits of mercy be the first in line to give generously to those in need? How do we honor God? What attitudes honor God? What actions honor God? What responses honor God?

If interested there are many relief organizations that are known to be responsible stewards of the monies collected for Haiti:
American Red Cross
Nazarene Compassionate Ministries I add this one as I know every dime donated goes directly to the Haitian relief

Marsha's Most Memorable of 2009

2010-01-03T22:54:00.011-06:00

Most Memorable:

Event of the Year: Our Cruise in July―what a wonderful week.

Family Event: Would have to have been our Christmas with Kiva. That experienced touched everyone.

Read: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and more... Set in 1947 it is a composite of correspondence between author Juliet Ashton and the folks of Guernsey island. I loved the strong women and the unusual way the authors chose to present the story.

Movie: The Blind Side – I didn't expect to like this one so much, but enjoyed it on a multitude of levels.

Television: House/24 – no change from last year.

Accomplishment: Finishing the United States Air Force Half-marathon in September.

Monthly Events: My Book Club-I am always excited for our monthly meetings. We have experienced lots of life together since we began 7 years ago.

Music in General: Train – Save Me San Francisco – Just the right amount of funk, soul and rock. Favorite song is Hey Soul Sister.

Classical Music: David Garrett: David Garrett Favorite song: Thunderstruck

Christian Music: 33 Miles – One Life. I love the marriage of pop and country. Favorite song: I Loved You Then

Educational Tool: SmartBoards: We had them installed at school this year and now I can't imagine teaching without them.

15 Minutes of Fame: The Herald and Review article about Ginny and me. It was centered around a subject I would have NEVER thought someone would write about me---running. Go figure.

Memorials: Mamaw was missed at Christmastime especially. She went to be with the Lord in July. Nancy Cooper, a wonderful friend and educator passed unexpectedly in September. I miss her every day.

Now it is your turn--share your most memorables of 2009! Don't forget to post a link or just add your list to the comments!

A Global Perspective at Christmas

2009-12-30T10:48:00.015-06:00

My brother, Evan has always been the global thinker in our family. He has his finger on the pulse of those less fortunate both in his neighborhood and abroad. He is a children's pastor who leads the kids under his influence to take action globally, especially in Uganda. Through a variety of activities, his children have become personally connected to the plight of the poor in Uganda. More than that, they are “learning to do good” while developing a global perspective. What a gift!

It was no surprise that Evan introduced the idea of “micro-financing to end poverty” to my brother Marc several months ago. I only have to hear “micro-” and my eyes begin to glaze over and by the time I hear “financing” I am totally checked out, but I will try to explain it in “Marsha-ese”. Micro-financing is LENDING funds to the rural poor in developing countries, usually in the form a small loans (smaller than banks are interested in loaning). This is often the only way they would be able to establish or maintain a business that has the ability to lift themselves out of poverty. Loans are repaid and can then be re-loaned to other individuals. The concept is quite amazing, and has real potential to put a major dent in extreme poverty.

Marc began to research this concept and came across an organization that actually connects people, through lending, for the sake of alleviating extreme poverty. Kiva is “the world's first person-to-person micro-lending website, empowering individuals to lend to unique entrepreneurs around the globe”. If you want more information check out the about page on Kiva's website (the video is great). About Kiva.

This Christmas, the Abla side of our family decided that we would take the amount of money normally spent on gifts for each other and instead invest at Kiva. So, last night all 12 of us, kids included, squeezed into our family room, sat around the Christmas tree began to invest in real people around the world.

Creating our family account was an ordeal in itself. What would we call our group? You can only imagine the suggestions with the names Cuttill Roat Abla Price (no, we did not select CRAP as our Kiva name, but you know it was discussed. Check us out anyway at Cuttill Roat Abla Price ). With the family photo snapped and uploaded, we only had one more step to complete our profile. We had to finish the statement, “I loan because...”. I don't think any of us had actually thought much about why, but our answer came when Evan recited Isaiah 1:17 “Learn to do good: Seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.” This scripture became our hymn, as well as our Kiva group slogan. We invite all to join this group at Isaiah 1:17

Once our family account was initiated, we pressed the much anticipated “lend” button on the site. Waiting anxiously for the multitude of needy folks to pop up, we became instantly disappointed when we found NO loans were available to be funded! WHAT? We waited and waited—still—none. Then, all of a sudden, one profile came available. In unison we yelled at the computer operator “CHOSE THAT ONE! CHOSE THAT ONE!” and that's how Jhudy, a small grocery owner from Peru, became our first investment. As we read about Jhudy's life and circumstances, excitement began to grow in the room. Jhudy was a real person with a real desire to make her life better and overcome poverty through entrepreneurship.

We followed the same process to fund the next seven loans and each time the kids would read about these people and become a bit more engaged in the process of investing. Once all of our initial monies were spent, several more loans became available. It was at this point that my sister-in-law announced, “Hey, Marsha. Here is a widow with a daughter from Tajikistan who is seeking a loan to invest in seeds and mineral fertilizer to improve the quality of her produce.” Well, she had me at “widow” and Begidjon Khairova became the first loan we were able to choose ourselves and the final loan of the evening. Funny thing was, everyone still had their laptops or iPhones out researching other loans on the site. Zack had created a “group” on Facebook and everyone had created personal accounts on Kiva.

You know, I don't remember our family EVER being so engaged during any Christmas gift exchange in the past. Somehow opening presents wasn't even missed and in the end we were able to say, “Merry Christmas Begidjon.” “Merry Christmas Norma.” “Merrry Christmas Riza.” “Merry Christmas Jhudy.” “Merry Christmas Cotzojay.” “Merry Christmas Mariela.” “Merry Christmas Sherali.” “Merry Christmas Olivia.” “Merry Christmas Zulma.” And a very Merry Christmas to our family who has always invested in each other, so it only seems natural to invest in others.

Best Young Adult Books of the Decade

2009-12-03T19:09:00.008-06:00

As you all know, I am a strong believer that if you are to become an accomplished writer, you MUST read good literature. I recently returned from a BER seminar entitled “The Best Young Adult Books of the Decade and How to Use Them in Your Program (Grades 6-12)”. After posting the fact I was attending this seminar, many friends and educators asked if I would post the information on my website, so here it is. Dr. Scates gave book talks on over 75 books during the day, so the list here does not do justice to the great literature out there for young adults.

First, I will post the presenter, Denni Kay Scates’s list of:

Top Ten Young Adult Books for Grades 6-8.

Elijah of Buxton by Christopher Paul Curtis
The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick (Adventure)
Cirque Du Freak (series) by Darren Shan (Fantasy; Horror)
To Dance by Sienna Cherson Siegel (Science Fiction; Graphic Novel)
Death by Eggplant by Susan O’Keefe (Humor)
Click Here and Find Out How I Survived 7^th Grade by Denise Ve
ga (Humor)
Waiting for Normal by Leslie Conner (Realistic Fiction)
Guys Write for Guys Read by Jon Scieszka (Short Stories)
Dairy Queen by Catherine Gilbert Murdock (Realistic Fiction)
A Baseball Card Adventure Series (ie. Babe and Me) by Dan Gutman (Fantasy; Series)

After listening to the book talks, I made a list of the:

“Top Ten Young Adult Books I Want to Read”:

Point Blank: an Alex Rider Adventure by Anthony Horowitz (Adventure)
From Baghdad With Love: a Marine, the War, and a Dog Named Lava by Jay Kopelman (Memoir)
How to Be Popular by Meg Cabot (“Chick” Lit)
The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova (Fantasy; Horror)
Code Talker by Joseph Bruchac (Historical Fiction)
Fire From the Rock by Sharon Draper (Historical Fiction)
24 Girls in 7 Days by Alex Bradley (Humor)
Dead Girls Don’t Write Letters by Gail Giles (Mystery)
Dairy Queen by Catherine Gilbert Murdock (Realistic Fiction)
Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life by Wendy Mass (Mystery)

Here is my two cents; books that I have found to impact my students and my teaching:

Marsha’s Top Ten List of Young Adult Books

Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Michaelsen (Adventure)
Running Out of Time by Margaret Petterson Haddix (Historical Fiction/Fantasy)
Flying Solo by Ralph Fletcher (Realistic Fiction)
Jack on the Tracks by Jack Gantos (Humor)
Swimming Upstream: Middle School Poems by Kristine O’Connell George
Sideways Stories From Wayside School by Louis Sachar: (Humor)This book is below the middle school level reading-wise; however, is rich in humor and lends itself to impromptu plays
Guts by Gary Paulsen (Biography)
Stormbreaker by Anthony Horowitz (Adventure)
Silent to the Bone by E.L. Konigsburg (Realistic Fiction)
Writing Magic by Gail Carson Levine (Non Fiction): One of the best books to encourage young writers.

If you are interested I have a catalog of ALL of the books BER recommends for students 6-12. It is lengthy, but it gives a brief description of the books.

In addition I will also include Dr. Scates’s Top Ten for Grades 9-12. SOME, but not all, of these books MAY contain some mature situations, so use your d

iscretion. They are sure to ignite great discussion with your teenager (we could all use that). Most of the books on the list are perfectly fine and the reading level is greater than some of the 6-8 books:

Top Ten Young Adult Books for Grades 9-12

The First Part Last by Angela Johnson (Realistic Fiction): Bobby’s carefree teenage life changes forever when he becomes a father and must care for his baby daughter.
Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortensen (Memoir)
Twilight by Stephanie Meyer (Fantasy)
American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang (Graphic Novel)
The Book Theif by Markus Zusak (Historical Fiction)
24 Girls in 7 Days by Alex Bradley (Humor)
Click by Nick Hornby and others (Mystery)
Wreath for Emmett Till by Marilyn Nelson (Non-fiction: Picture Book): This book is about a man who was killed in a brutal, racially motivated lynching in 1955. It is told in sonnet form and has very sophisticated language-it should spark lots of conversation.
My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult (Realistic Fiction)
Twice Told: Original Stories Inspired by Original Art by Scott Hunt

Now it is your turn, as readers of this blog, what are the young adult books you have found to ignite the love of reading and/or left an impact on you as an adult? Use the “comments” to leave your suggestions. Be sure to list the book title, author, and why you think it should be added to the list.

Contrived and Predictable Has it's Merits!

2009-10-26T18:17:00.001-05:00

I love movies, but believe when it comes to choosing and enjoying them I have the maturity of a teenager. Case in point: I have been to three movies in the theatre within the last few months: Inglorious Basterds, District 9 and The Proposal. I must learn that if a film critic finds a movie “intelligent” or “a multilayered, rewarding work” I should steer clear of it at any costs. But if the review states that the show is “…as predictable and comforting as a Happy Meal” or “shamelessly derivative, contrived and predictable” these movies are right up my ally.

When I leave a theatre, I want to feel as if I have been entertained. I want to have laughed, cried, clenched my seat in fright, or even resisted the urge to cheer on the hero/heroine. I want to be engaged in the story—to be sucked in. I don’t want to feel compelled to think about what societal message the director might be portraying or what hidden symbolism embodies a character’s actions.

I pride myself as a “thinker”, but when it comes to the cinema—I seem more interested in piffle. Of the tree before mentioned movies, the only one I really enjoyed was The Proposal. Chucked full of contrived and predictable plot lines with a healthy dose of shoddiness, The Proposal made me laugh, caused me to forget stressors in my life for a moment and step into a bit of romantic fairy tale.

It is for this reason I am a terrible movie-mate. My best friends enjoy those highly intelligent, mind stretching, award winning films while I just don’t want to put that much effort into the pastime. Why does all this matter? Quite frankly, it doesn’t mean anything at all. I just felt the need to proclaim my propensity for mediocre movies aloud, accept it as a part of who I am, and cease guilty about it. There, I said it (or wrote it).

So, this weekend we purchased, On Demand, three movies: X-Men Origins: Wolverine; My Life in Ruins; and Ghost of Girlfriends Past. For the first time in a long while, I enjoyed every last one of them. I got my money’s worth, didn’t feel cheated of the time, and was entertained -- just like any other teenager on the planet.

Writing Wherewithal!

2009-10-24T21:01:00.001-05:00

Writing is definitely a craft. Like an athlete, a writer must practice in order for their talent to be honed. It has been over three months since I have written anything for publication and it is quite obvious that by allowing this craft to become stagnant, it has become laborious to revive. But here I sit in the dark with my computer, and I wonder if restoration is possible.

It isn't that I have nothing to communicate, it is that I can't seem to find that allusive “balance” I am constantly seeking. Everything I see, do or experience is fodder for a blog, but lately I can't seem to compose. The words are there, but the wherewithal to do the work is not.

I have always been an advocate that teacher's of writing must write themselves. It is important that we understand what our students are experiencing when they write. Perhaps her lies an epiphany—sometimes it is simply too difficult to write, or too arduous or perhaps inconsequential. I am really not sure which tag properly identifies my motives, but I feel compelled to come out of the fog.

The lack of motivation to write is like being separated from one you love—it is a feeling of abandonment and torpidity. Salvaging this union will no doubt take hard work and practice. I am unafraid of either, but both take an incredible amount of time and energy. It is time to step up to the plate, but why does it seem so difficult?

The problem is simple and I know it. I have become lazy. Sometimes, it is easier not to write at all than to expend the amount of energy it takes to compose well. Perhaps it doesn't matter if the writing is great or significant—perhaps sometimes it just matters that you DO IT! Quite a lesson for writers, no matter what their age.

What a Fool Believes

2009-07-29T08:12:00.002-05:00

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. It's harder than you think.

YOUR ARTIST: Dooobie Brothers

Are you male or female: Evil Woman

Describe yourself: Minute By Minute

How do you feel about yourself: Disciple

Describe where you currently live: Chicago (or kindof close)

The first thing you think of when you wake up: Here to Love You

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: China Grove

Your favorite form of transportation: Flying Cloud

What is the weather like where you are at: Rainy Day Crossroad Blues

Your best friend is: Closer Every Day

Your favorite color is: White Sun

If your life were a TV show, what would it be called: Black Water

What is life to you: Dangerous

What is the best advice you have to give: Don’t Be Afraid

If you could change your name, what would it be: Mamaloi

Your favorite food is: South of the Border

How I would like to die: Dedicate This Heart

My soul's present condition: Echoes of Love

What are you going to post this as: What a Fool Believes

Now it is your turn---

Theology according to “Saving Grace”

2009-07-28T13:02:00.002-05:00

If you haven’t watched “Saving Grace” on TNT, it is an interesting spin on God and his relationship to us. This message is often conveyed through an angel named Earl. The premise of the series is that God sent an angel who offers a jaded Oklahoma City police detective (Grace Hanadarko) the chance to redeem her life following a drunk driving accident in which she kills someone. Her character is extremely flawed, which is why I guess I can relate to her so well. I don’t always agree with the theology expounded in the television program, but I often gleam some understanding through Hollywood’s feeble attempts. If nothing else, it often sparks major discussions within our household. The following scene takes place in a Jewish temple. Here is a short discussion between Earl and Grace concerning prayer.

Earl: All kind of prayers, popcorn prayers, Hebrew prayers, screamin’, cussin’, questionin’: all prayers
Grace: Prayers in here may be important, but ‘please let me score a touchdown, please help me find a parking place’ what about that crap
Earl: You don’t think God can handle the big and the small
Grace: Some dope prays for the light to turn green same time a family prays for their sick baby—light turns green baby dies—why doesn’t he save the baby?
Earl: I don’t know God makes the decisions not our desires.
Grace: Really, GOD makes the decisions?
Earl: Yes
Grace: So, ok God decides to kill 6 million jews, machete a million Africans?
Earl: God decided to give you all a choice the people who gassed 6 million Jews and Machete a million Africans made that call
Grace: But God is the decider he could have stopped them
Earl: He can do anything he wants. He could have created each one of you to worship him, but what would be the fun in that. He wants you to come to him on your own, to pray because you want to
Grace: But why would I pray to someone who stands by and does nothing when he could do everything?
Earl: Is that what you want? If God did everything then what would you do?
Grace: Dance…Laugh...same things I have always done.
Earl: Dancing has always been one of my favorite prayers.
Grace: I still don’t see the point of prayer
Earl: It prepares you to see God in any situation
Grace: I don’t feel it—not the kind of prayer you are talking about.
Earl: What do you think summoned me?

Prayer is an interesting aspect of our relationship with God. What is the point? I believe the answer actually comes from Earl “It prepares you to see God in any situation”. My prayer life was never as active as it was after Don died. Perhaps I was longing to see God in my situation perhaps I was in the cussin’, questionin’, screamin’ mode. What I learned is that we are not promised a life without struggle, difficulty, or suffering. What we ARE promised is that God will be there to see us through, so that what we go through isn’t in vain; so that we can not only see God in our situation, but we can find the strength to make it meaningful.

In the Most Unlikely Places

2009-07-26T00:47:00.006-05:00

There are times in our lives when God seeks us out, grabs our attention and causes us to assess our walk. Sometime he does this in the most unlikely of places—let’s say, for example, on a cruise ship.

On the morning of our final day at sea, Kent and I headed to the dining room for breakfast. As fate (or divine intervention) would have it, we were seated next to a couple we had enjoyed the company of the previous morning—a career Navy officer and his wife (Tom and Anne). After exchanging greetings, another couple was seated next to them. Mike and Claudia were from Ohio, newly married, and on their honeymoon.

We learned Mike was a high school history teacher and football coach. Of course I felt an instant connection (it’s a teacher thing). We talked NCLB, IEP’s, PBIS and RTI—until we realized the others, eyes glazed over, were not following our acronym saturated conversation. The converstion then turned to more general issues about education and life in general. What impressed me about Mike was his obvious passion for his vocation. You might think this is normal in young teachers, but often it isn’t the case. It wasn’t long until I sensed that his passion went beyond the classroom into the lives of his students. I was right.

Routine conversation led to the fact that my brother was a children’s pastor and my father a minister. Mike openly shared that he and Claudia fostered a small group for high school students through “Young Life”. We then began to discuss ministry and the role it played in our every day lives. The Navy officer, Tom, began to speak about the church they had left in Memphis when they moved to Maryland and how they hadn’t found anywhere to land since the move. Tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke of the purpose that seemed lost in his life. They had lead a Divorce Care small group in Memphis and were actively involved in their faith community, but since moving found it difficult to find a new church home. He spoke passionately of specific situations where he and his wife were able to minister to others going through the pain of divorce and how energized they had been during that time in their lives.

A fervent Mike, wanting disparately to encourage this Navy officer, shared the analogy that God was like the water flowing though a water slide. He is always there—flowing through our lives. We can either jump in and take the ride or sit on the side and simply watch the water flow. Tom responded with a grin that replaced the tears, “Seems we need to jump back in the water,” he replied.

As we stood to leave our two-hour breakfast, the standard, “Have a nice day” was replaced with, “I promise to pray for you.” WOW—right there in the middle of the Carnival Liberty dining room, God was present.

It may seem as if the Navy officer and his wife were the ones ministered to the most, but that just wasn’t the case. Each of us were ministered to, challenged and encouraged throughout the morning. My own spiritual walk had been in need of resuscitation for some time. Little did I know that God would provide the intervention my soul needed in such an unconventional way; providing a jumping IN point where I could capture, once again, a glimpse of the dream HE had for my life. It was time to redirect my actions to encompass the core values of my soul.

What did this encounter mean for me personally? It means setting new focus. leveraging my time, energy and resources (McManus). It means refusing to waste time on "stuff" that doesn't really matter and focusing on "stuff' that not only will matter today, but will have a lasting effect tomorrow. I walked away from breakfast that morning feeling more energized that I had been in a very long time.

When we got back to the cabin, I grabbed my iPod, towel and headphones then headed to the deck to grab some sun. The events of the morning freshly on my mind, I placed the earphones in my ears, hit “shuffle” on my iPod and laid my head back on the deck chair. I shouldn’t have been surprised at the song that began to play. It sealed my deal with God. Tears streaming down my face on the sun deck of the Carnival Liberty, God continued to minister...

SCUBA and Life Part II

2009-07-23T17:43:00.002-05:00

My husband loves to SCUBA dive-it is truly one of his passions. He often teases that my willingness to become certified was a condition of marriage. I completed my certification at Crystal River in Florida not long after we started dating. It was an inland venue and though the manatees were quite awesome, the water was cold and the fish were—well—rather unattractive. It was at this point I informed my husband that if he intended for me to continue this diving business he would have to take me somewhere with warm water and pretty fish.

Fast forward two years and we sign up for two dives on our cruise through the Caribbean this past week. The closer the time came to dive, the more apprehensive I became. It had been over two years since my last dive. What if I forgot my training? What if I made a fool of myself, or worse one of Kent? What if something went terribly wrong and I didn’t know what to do? It was unmistakably clear: FEAR had its grip on me and was reluctant to let go. What “fear” failed to realize is that I am just obstinate enough to fight it. I understood it wasn’t necessary for me to be courageous—as much as it was to appear courageous.

Aboard the dive boat appearing to be calm, cool and collected, I donned my BC, regulator and tank. I strapped on what I thought to be enough weight to take me to the appropriate level to begin the dive. Hoping it would be like riding a bicycle; I jumped in with enough partial confidence to get wet. There were two impending roadblocks: #1. I wasn’t descending (not enough weight) and #2. I couldn’t clear my ears. After reaching 50 feet or so (only by pulling myself down a tow and feeling my ears push so hard into my brain that I was sure brain matter was oozing from my ears), it was apparent the dive would have to be called. I was disappointed in myself compounded with guilt that Kent would be unable to continue this dive (dive buddies stay together no matter what-at least the good ones do). When we finally reached the dive boat, shed our gear, and wiped the blood from my nose; I sat pensively.

When I am disappointed in myself—which is far too often—I need time to contemplate, hash over in my mind what happened and seek resolution. It was the encouragement of my dive buddy and that of the dive master that finally broke my reverie assuring me many folks have to call dives for similar issues. I wasn’t a failure; I just needed to regroup and give it another shot.

I have never been known to run from adversity. I do; however, tend to step back, regroup, and even distance myself. Not this time. If I was going to continue to be a SCUBA diver, I HAD to go on the next dive. I had to overcome the fear and press on.

Guided by the dive master, I added several more pounds to my weight belt. Stepping off the back of the boat with cautious confidence—down I went, gently clearing my ears with each breath. I was diving—success—at last.

Isn’t this how life’s difficulties can be at times? We intend meet them head on, but without much forethought or preparation expecting everything to go off without a hitch. We dismiss the importance of reviewing what we already know, accepting the wisdom and encouragement from friends and most of all we tend to press on without the “life Master”.

How much easier it is to navigate difficulties when we fully consider the wisdom of our past, embrace the support of those who have already walked the journey, but most of all pursue God’s leading in our circumstance. That’s when we triumph over adversity. That’s when we realize life is not about us. That’s when our reward is crystal clear, blue water and pretty fish.

Marsha's Cruise Tips

2009-07-21T08:17:00.007-05:00

This will begin a series of several post concerning our cruise. Some of them will provide practical information, some short vignettes and some musings from aboard the Carnival Liberty 2009.
will….” or “next time I won’t….”. This time I decided to make a list of Marsha’s Cruise Tips:

• Boat Drill: GO LATE, seriously wait about 20 minutes before going to your muster station. IF you don’t you will be stuck in the back of an extremely hot group of grumpy people with HOT lifejackets on. Save yourself the grief and be fashionably late.
• Get a cabin with a balcony if at all possible. I know you say you won’t be in the cabin that much, but it makes all the difference in the world when you are there.
• If you want good food all week—just plan on eating every meal in the dining room. This is one area that has really declined since my last cruise three years ago. The “Lido” deck buff
I have been on three cruises, but this was Kent’s first. Every time I go, I always say “next time I et style food was mediocre at best. They do have 24-hour pizza that’s pretty good, but the food in the dining room is always great.
• Buy only ONE soda card to share per two people. You might have to be a little sneaky passing the card back and forth, but it saves bucks.
• Don’t buy all those photos taken by the ship’s professionals. They are really expensive. Just buy one as a souvenir and take snapshots. Candid pictures will mean more anyway.
• Go to dinner the first evening about 10 minutes late. This will save you the hassle of the first night cattle call/find your table mess. Just wait and walk right in—fashionably late again.
• Room service is complementary—so take some empty Ziplock baggies with you in your suitcase and on days that you have shore excursions order pbj’s, fruit, chips for breakfast from room service and take them with you for the shore excursion.
• In Jamaica, don’t leave the boat too early for your excursion. You only need about 15 minutes and if you get there earlier you wait in a REALLY hot building.
• Remember that the shore excursions are reasonably priced comparatively, but what you get by booking them through the cruise is that you are covered under the cruise insurance (huge benefit if you dive) and the boat won’t leave without you if you happen to be late.
• Don’t forget to take cash (esp. small bills) with you on excursions for tips or emergencies.
• For those of you who enjoy an occasional alcoholic beverage—according to our table mates they NEVER buy alcohol on the ship. Apparently, they bring their own—checked bags are never “checked”, so a little bubble-wrap protects the product and you’re set for the week.
• Remember you don’t have to do everything and doing nothing is doing something—at least on a cruise.
• If you don’t enjoy meeting other people, interacting with other people, sharing life for a week with interesting folks from around the world—find another vacation a cruise just wouldn’t be your “cup of tea”. On the other hand if you enjoy people a cruise can be the best vacation ever.

Feel free to add things I may have overlooked or forgotten.

In Loving Memory...

2009-07-05T18:17:00.010-05:00

Margaret "Mamaw" Ellen Abla went to be with her Lord Sunday July 5, 2009. She was loved passionately and will be greatly missed.

Here is the obituary for the newspaper. It is rather impersonal, but a more personal picture of "Mamaw" is forthcoming.

Margaret Ellen Abla, 89, left this world to be with her Lord Sunday the 5th of July, 2009 at Mckinley Court Nursing Home. “Mamaw’s” final days were spent surrounded by the family and friends whose lives she had touched in many ways.

Margaret was born in Lamar, Colorado to Ross and Maggie Curry, she was one of six children. In 1937, she married Glen Abla and began her life of ministry in the Church of the Nazarene. Following their retirement, Margaret made her home in Denver, Colorado. She moved to Decatur in 2003 where she was a joy to those fortunate enough to have shared her life.

She was a member of First Church of the Nazarene. Margie enjoyed family gatherings, shopping, discussing politics and Monical’s Pizza. Her love for the Lord was evident by her dedication to the ministry and her love for those around her. “Mamaw’s” smile often lit up a room, especially when sharing one of her many stories about her life as a pastor’s wife and evangelist.

A celebration of the life of Margaret Abla will be held at the Decatur First Church of the Nazarene 7:00pm Tuesday evening with visitation one hour before the service from 6-7.

“Mamaw” has left many memories to be treasured by her beloved children Edwin Abla, his wife Janice of Decatur, her daughter Sharon Miller and husband Bill of Parker, Colorado. Her memory will also be cherished by her grandchildren Marsha Cuttill-Price, Marc Abla, Evan Abla, Scott Miller, Lauren Miller, Lindsay Miller and Michael Miller along with her many loving great-grandchildren and friends.

The family appreciates your continued prayers and support. They request any memorials made in honor of Margaret Abla be contributed to Compassionate Ministries, Decatur First Church of the Nazarene.

Meme #978

2009-06-24T11:00:00.004-05:00

Taking another break from an all-too-serious piece I am writing on nursing homes, I ran across this meme from Alicia and Ann. I am going to answer it with a few changes. I like the idea of an occasional meme as they are much easier (not to mention short) to write, but they still develop the craft. I am thinking of borrowing Ann’s Monday Meme in my classroom next year, but here it goes The Alphabet Meme…

A – Age: I am 47 (or will be in a few weeks). I have traveled a very complicated road to get here. Of course it wasn’t what I expected, but it has been fulfilling. Sometimes I feel really old and sometimes I don’t feel any older than I did when I was 20.

B – Band listening to right now: My iPod has the most diverse music on it and sometimes I hit shuffle just to see what happens. It usually goes: country, pop, classic rock, new age, contemporary Christian and classical (I even have some bluegrass).

C – Career future: My career is education; notice I didn’t say teaching because often I am the student. I thought I wanted to go into educational administration-even got the degree, but then I think your job becomes “beans, busses and basketball”-not education. I still want to be about education.

D – Dad’s name: It is Edwin-my son’s middle name as well.

E – Easiest person to talk to: Kent is the easiest person to talk to about anything, coming in a close second is Ginny, but that has developed over years and years. I am a pretty open book with my close friends and used to be with others, but over the past few years I tend to shut myself off more if I find I have trust issues.

F – Favorite song: I don’t have a favorite, but I can chronicle my life by songs. If a song comes on the radio or my iPod I normally have a life experience connected to it.

G – Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: LOVE the Gummy Bears.

H – Hometown: This is always an interesting question. Technically I don’t have one. My father was a minister and we moved quite often, but I always say I “grew up” in Hasting, Nebraska. It is where I spent my teenage years – what a great place to raise a teen.

I – Instruments: I play the piano—not well, but can get by. I took violin lessons through high school.

J – Job: I have been working since I was 15. I sold shoes for the most part. I was a bank teller (not a very good one), walked beans and rogued corn—the rest have been associated with education in some form and I wouldn’t call them “jobs”.

K – Kids: I have 6 of those—two sons; 3 step-sons; 1 step-daughter

L – Longest car ride ever: I am not sure as we drove everywhere when I was growing up, but it would have to be the summer we drove from St. Louis, Missouri to Miami, Florida.

M – Mom’s name: Martha Janice, but folks only know her by Jan or Janice. It is also my middle name.

N – Number of people you consider your closest friends: There are about four gals who I trust explicitly and accept unconditionally. They have been there through thick and thin—life and death—and I am proud to call each of them my friend.

P – Phobia[s]: I used to have a dental phobia, but that is changing. I don’t particularly like to fly, but am stubborn enough to NEVER let it stop me from doing so.

Q – Quote: “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.”
-Alvin Toffler-
This is what NCLB is NOT getting right now. It isn't about the "test", but about learning, unlearning and relearning.

R – Reason to smile: I am loved. (This is a great answer Ann)

S – Song you sang last: “Brave” by Jamie O’Neil

T – Time you wake up: That’s a good question: during the school year—5:50AM—during the summer: not so much.

U – Unknown fact about me: I am SCUBA certified.

V – Vegetable you hate: Peas—yucky—texture issues.

W – Worst habit: Biting my nails—I hate it, but there are several more bad habits I harbor

X – X-rays you’ve had: Over the years—about every x-ray known to man, but I have never broken a bone—yet…

Y – Yummy food: California rolls and crab legs are my favorites.

Z – Zodiac sign: I am a Leo—and I don’t get the zodiac thing but here is today’s horoscope—rather interesting for those of you who know me well:
“Because you may often be impulsive, concentrated and spontaneous, you could find yourself representing your company, lecturing or teaching. A well-trained sales person could do well to learn your techniques because you tend to rush in where others fear to tread. Your energy is magnanimous. There is something essential that starts or causes something else to happen--a reaction or response when you promote a product, instruct or lecture. Others will benefit from your experience and your leadership. You may be able to enjoy and value your own life situation today. There is much laughter and merriment in your home this afternoon and evening. A visitor may compliment you on your tastes or belongings”

OK--now it is your turn. Be sure to link back or let me know when you complete the meme.

Seriously?

2009-06-23T08:30:00.003-05:00

My 13-year-old has a subscription to “Electronic Gaming Monthly”. It is one of few written materials he actually reads. So last week, he received the following in the mail:

For those of you squinting your eyes to read, it says:

“Welcome to Maxim!
This note is to inform you that Electronic Gaming Monthly has ceased publishing with the January 2009 issue. The balance of your paid subscription will be fulfilled with Maxim. If you are already a subscriber to Maxim, the balance of your Electronic Gaming Monthly subscription will be added to your existing Maxim subscription.”

Now, here is my take on this absurd replacement:
There are going to be millions of extremely happy adolescent boys, but on the other hand a million really ticked off parents. Mark me in the latter group. Seriously, is this an equal substitute for a gaming magazine?

Besides scantily clad women on almost every page, the articles in this magazine include: “The Drinking Man’s Guide to Summer”, “Fantasy Island”, “I Like to Punish People” and “The Sex Checklist: What bedroom taboos should you encourage your girl to break”. So, apparently the balance of my 13-year-old’s gaming magazine with be filled with the adolescent equivalent to soft porn.

For those of you wondering, of course I have crafted a written response to this absurdity stating my mind and demanding a refund, but why should I have to…why wasn't there someone in the magazine’s marketing team intelligent enough to say “Know what guys—this is simply a bad idea.". Seriously?

Educational Alternatives Provide Opportunities for ALL

2009-06-22T10:17:00.001-05:00

I have been a public school educator for 25 years. When it employs dedicated teachers and is the conduit for proven best practices, I believe whole-heartedly in the public school system. I am also unafraid to admit that public school isn’t for everyone. Alternatives to public education fulfill a void, yet are often viewed with disdain by those who do not understand the value of such options. There has never been a better example of this fact than my nephew. The middle of three brothers, he is one brilliant fourth-grader. The problem is that school just didn’t challenge him. The small school he attended didn’t offer enrichment programs and what’s worse his teacher didn’t like the fact that he “worked ahead” and would become disruptive because he was—bored. I was fearful the school was going to devastate his enthusiasm and his natural lust for learning. So, one evening while talking with my brother, I asked if they had ever considered home schooling him. Startled, he answered, “Oh my, we have been thinking about this, but were not sure if it was the right direction to go, but now that you as an educator brought it up, perhaps we need to think about this option more seriously.”

The choice to home school my nephew was not a haphazard determination. My sister-in-law didn’t think she was the “home school type”. She sold herself short—she is actually perfect for the job: organized, creative, intelligent and extremely resourceful. After researching curriculum, joining a local home school network and soliciting help from professionals, my nephew is now being home schooled and is thriving. He is encountering learning as it was meant to be for him. It is so much fun to examine the artifacts of his learning experiences including science experiments, erupting volcanoes, crystals, cell models and what not. He is learning “Grammar with a Giggle”, journaling, creating and exploring science. What’s more he is happy and enjoying his education once again.

My stepson is another example of the fact that “public schools are not one-size-fits-all”. He was an adolescent when his mother died. Life experiences, along with disillusionment with his high school academics left him without much success. After spending more time with him, I suggested to his father that perhaps my stepson should take the GED and get on with his college experience. He did just that and passed the GED the first time with honors-all this without studying (except for the writing, which after a 20 minute refresher he passed a couple of weeks later). Yes, the child is brilliant, yet public school wasn’t for him. He now can enter college at the appropriate age and continue from there.

It’s not that I think our schools are in dire straights and in need of massive reform, quite the reverse. My assertion, contrary to the tenants of “No Child Left Behind”, is that not every program, every occupation, every club is suited for everyone. Even with the best intentions, programs, educators, administrators, parents and students not ALL children learn the same way or at the same proficiency level.

Do schools need to be held accountable? Sure. Does the education system need to try harder to engage learners? You bet! But a government mandate that considers every child able to achieve at the exact same level is not the answer either. The answer lies in the fact that a child’s education is multifaceted. It should take into consideration the individual, the strengths of the school, and the expertise of the educators involved. We often sell short the alternatives to public education, when for some kids; those alternatives are the only way they will never be “left behind”.

The Jungle Test

2009-06-16T10:30:00.001-05:00

What to do when you have nothing to write??? Find a filler:

You Are Dramatic

You are colorful and charismatic. You get and hold people's attention.

Right now, you are seeking peace and tranquility in your life.

You are drawn to people who are energetic and blissful.

You feel like there are a few minor things in your life that need to be changed.

You find that any decision you have to make needs to be slept on... often for multiple nights.

Now it is your turn:

The Jungle Test

THE MEME....

2009-06-15T21:43:00.003-05:00

DIRECTIONS:
- Go to Google image search.
- Type in your answer to each question.
- Choose a picture from the first page.
- Use this website (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php) to make your collage.
- Save the image for use in this note.
- Tag the people whose mosaics you want to

Here are the questions...
What is your name?
What is your favorite food?
What is your hometown?
What is your favorite color?
What is your favorite movie?
What is your favorite drink?
What is your dream vacation?
What is your favorite dessert?
What is one word to describe yourself?
What are you feeling right now?
What do you love most in the world?
What do you want to be IF you grow up?

Growing Old--Gracefully?

2009-06-08T12:16:00.003-05:00

I have been thinking about aging recently. I don't do this often. I am not in any way obsessed with growing older, but there are times in my life when the inevitability of aging wears heavy on my mind and heart. It isn't that the alternative is appealing either because I have no desire to relive youth, at least not without the wisdom I possess today, but lately I have been thinking about what it means to age gracefully.

I remember when my mother was the age I am today. I thought she was old. When my grandmother was my age—she was ancient, but when I look at my peers, they don't appear old to me. On the contrary, I think my friends are more active and in better mental and physical shape than they were years ago. We hold memberships to the health club, or at least have purchased Wii Fit. We buy whole foods, and take a multitude of vitamins and herbs researched to make our lives healthier. On the other hand, we do converse more about individual aches and pains than we did when we were young, although we speak equally of current events, politics, theology and education. We read books about how to keep our bodies and brains active over the latest John Grisham novel, but even that is not unusual. So what’s the deal with getting older?

My mother turns 70 this year, which seems impossible to me. Her life is inspirational. At 70, she still teaches kindergarten at an intercity school that boasts a 98% minority/95% poverty rate. The only signs of aging I see in her are that she complains more about being “tired”—well, I think she has earned that privilege. She walks on a regular basis, reads veraciously and remains active at her church. At times, she has more energy than me. She just doesn’t seem old to me, perhaps she really isn’t. Maybe age IS relative.

I am a better mother now than when I was younger. I know I am better wife than I was in my 30’s, and am convinced I am more conscious about my health than I was then. I don’t; however, obsess about the outward signs of aging as much the internal ones like the inability to remember someone’s name I ought to recall or where I put my car keys.

Aging gracefully has more to do with one’s mind-set than anything else. Perhaps what needs to be measured in aging is the significance found in the now; those who are touched by how we live and the value we’ve added to the world. As Joan Baez so eloquently stated, “You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.” That’s aging---gracefully.

Give Me Words to Speak....

2009-06-08T11:26:00.003-05:00

The past couple of months I have felt like the songwriter Aaron Shust with the lyrics to Give Me Words to Speak...

Give me Words to speak Don’t let my Spirit sleep Cause I can’t think of anything worth saying

Finding the words again has been my quest...and I think I have arrived at least temporarily. 50-Something Mom's Blog has been quite patient and I have two pieces ready to go for them and am working on a couple for this blog.

What I have learned in the midst of this dry spot is that I feel incomplete when I am not writing. There is a certain balance writing gives to my life. It isn't that I care about publishing, but I miss the interaction with words and the making sense of life that happens here (at least for me).

Project 365

2009-04-18T16:14:00.002-05:00

A colleague of mine introduced me to Project 365. At first I wasn’t interested at all because I am “scrapbook challenged”. I seriously—HATE to scrapbook, BUT I love to take pictures and love to write--thus appreciating the possibilities of such an exercise. I contacted my BFF’s daughter, who is an Internet mastermind and an amazing photographer, with this idea. Of course, she had an electronic answer to my dilemma within 24 hours (thanks Nicole). So begins my project—365 days of photos and musings. I am amateurish when it comes to structure, but I hope this will help me organize and creatively present the mundane and the occasional profundity that is my life. If you are interested here is the link: Marsha's Project 365. If you would like to join us--simply sign up and add me as your friend.

UTube Monday!

2009-04-13T15:47:00.004-05:00

I don't know why it is that the Britain's Got Talent always has some surprising stars, but they do every year. Check this out: The embeded feature is disabled so you will have to click on the site:

Susan Boyle - Singer - Britains Got Talent

Enjoy!

Small Victories

2009-04-10T09:48:00.004-05:00

We have been in Arkansas this week on vacation. It has been a lovely week of rejuvenation and exploration. Yesterday, we visited Devil’s Den State Park for some hiking. We hiked up to a cave which I explored partially as the boys, much more adventurous than I, explored in detail. It was one of those “I could have never done this in my former life, but wish I could have” moments.

The hike was not easy. I am sure it wasn’t the most difficult either, but with three 13-year-old boys we had to explore every cavern, crevice and waterfall on and off the beaten path. At one point the only way to exit the crevasse was to climb a tree vine. My son said, “Mom you shouldn’t go that way, you won’t be able to get out. You’re not strong enough.” He didn’t realize “them's fightin’ words”. As if I were 13 years old myself, I considered his words a dare. Now, I HAD to not only attempt, but also succeed; not only make it up the crevasse, but also make it look effortless. Why, you say? Because, my tender pride had been called into question and because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. Waiving to my son from atop the chasm was one of the high points of my vacation.

He looked up with shock and asserted, “Mom, I never even thought you could do that.”

With a smile of total satisfaction, bravely concealing my labored breaths and sore knees I retorted, “Ah, it wasn’t that big of a deal,”

The more I thought about it, the more I realized just how big a deal this feat was for me to accomplish. Living most of my adult life overweight and sedentary, such a climb would have been impossible for me to achieve before. Not only that, I wouldn’t even have had the desire to attempt it. Thankful that I chose this second chance, I relish these small victories as a banner of the choices I have made.

UTube Monday:Goomoodleikiog

2009-04-06T07:00:00.000-05:00

I want to be here someday---

perhaps this is the time....

Evidence of Christ

2009-03-27T16:31:00.002-05:00

Here is the second of my Lenten devotionals.

John 12:37-41 (New International Version)
Even after Jesus had done all these miraculous signs in their presence, they still would not believe in him. This was to fulfill the word of Isaiah the prophet: "Lord, who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?" For this reason they could not believe, because, as Isaiah says elsewhere: "He has blinded their eyes and deadened their hearts, so they can neither see with their eyes, nor understand with their hearts, nor turn—and I would heal them." Isaiah said this because he saw Jesus' glory and spoke about him.

It is almost impossible to believe that these folks had difficulty believing in Jesus even though they had seen his works with their very eyes. They walked with him, saw numerous miracles; watched as lives were changed, yet still they did not believe. Like many today, they were spiritually blind. Lives are still changed; miracles still happen and yet man still struggles to believe.

The frightening reality for Christians today is that the consequence of continued unbelief is the hardening of man’s heart. When man chooses to reject God, even though he is presented with the gospel and sees the work of the Lord, it becomes more difficult for men to “see with their eyes” or “understand with their hearts”. Spiritual blindness is the inevitable outcome.

So, what are our responsibilities as followers of Christ? Matthew is pretty specific.
“In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. “ Matthew 5:14-16 (NIV)

Aware that those who are lost often look to believers for evidence of Christ, should cause Christians to pause and search our hearts, confident that we are the beacons God can use to open the eyes of the lost. It means taking stock of our thoughts, actions and speech and weighing them against the holiness God calls us to. It means taking our commission to reach the lost seriously as a daily calling.

Monday - UTube: A view of 21st Century Students

2009-03-23T17:28:00.000-05:00

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
-Alvin Toffler-

A friend of mine had to send the link to this YouTube video to my home email, because I couldn't view it on my computer at school. YouTube is blocked, of course. My question this; how are we preparing students for success in the 21st century? There is no way that educators, without a renewed commitment to the study of technology in the classroom, can adequately engage learners today. Gone is the "we learned it that way and it worked for us" mentality of the past. Gone is the "back to basics" mentality because the basics have changed dramatically. I teach middle school writing. I talk to my students every day about "real writing" and how what we are learning is transferred to situations in life that require writing skills, yet I am unable to access my blog at school to show the students, let alone allow them to participate in, the "real life" application of blogging. What's wrong with this picture?

In Honor of 70

2009-03-18T04:30:00.000-05:00

My dad turns 70 today. It doesn’t seem like it. I used to think 70 was really old, but he doesn’t seem “old”; perhaps that is because he doesn’t act old. He still works a 40-hour a week part-time job. He plays golf. He keeps up with technology. He drives a convertible. No, he doesn’t act “old” at all.

More than these outward signs, he is still compassionate, articulate and witty. He truly cares about the folks he ministers to and loves the church, which he serves. Growing up in a parsonage wasn’t always easy. You tend to be put on a pedestal and required to live up to other’s standards, but my father has never thought like that. He has always been his own person and allowed us; even celebrated, our individuality.

Memories I cherish with my dad are as deep as they are wide. I remember going with him to watch the Cardinals play at Busch Stadium, or tagging along to church softball games. We’ve watched Cornhusker football together. He is the reason I understand golf and hockey. His one failure was attempting to teach me to drive a standard transmission; to preserve our sanity and relationship he was wise enough to release me into the hands of a friend for instruction.

I know he prays for us, he continually guides our family spiritually and then without fear has released us to become who God has intended us to be. He has always been and continues to be my best council, chief supporter and biggest fan. He has loved our mother in a way that demonstrates undying love. He cares for his ailing mother with compassion and strength. How wonderful is that? But the greatest gift my father has ever given to me is the capacity to love people, to forgive without requiring penance, and to be devoted to God first and foremost.

So today I honor his love, his life and his ministry. Happy Birthday Dad!

Monday - UTube: It's Not On the Test

2009-03-16T20:12:00.002-05:00

A bit of education humor. It would be funny, if much of it weren't true. The video would have been much better with---I don't know---Bono? Enjoy.

Photo Meme

2009-03-09T16:16:00.003-05:00

This was an interesting meme from Annie. Want to participate? Here are the guidelines:

Open your photo files and...

Post the 6th picture in your 6th folder.

Post that picture on your blog along with the story that goes with it.

This is a photo of two very special men in my life, my brother and nephew at the Don Cuttill Memorial Golf Tournament. It represents all the love and support they have given to me since Don's death. This is an annual event memorializing a great man and raising money for a worthy cause: Nazarene Compassionate Ministries.

Lenten Season!

2009-03-01T12:33:00.003-06:00

Easter is my favorite time of year. It speaks of hope and faith. It is a time of renewal and challenge. It was with honor that I was asked to create two writings for my church's Easter devotional. Here is the first of the two:

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6 (NIV)

As Lent begins, we, as followers of Christ, overflow with the hope of the resurrection and a renewing of our faith. Have you ever stopped to think how essential faith is to our Christian walk? Not merely the knowledge of Christ; not simply believing in Christ, but I am talking about radically and actively applying faith to our lives. Faith is not only vital to pleasing God; it is the very essence of our relationship with Him.

Many times those of us who call ourselves Christians lack the faith essential to pleasing God. This radical faith allows us to say to God, “Change me. Make me uncomfortable. Cause me to take action. Use me, whatever it takes.” Instead we are content with living a safe-faith, a safe Christian existence where going to church every Sunday and praying before meals is enough. The challenge for Christians today is to step out of the comfort of our “just enough” faith and seek the extreme faith of earnestly seeking God.

This faith is unwavering; it bears its foundation in actively, consistently, and passionately seeking a relationship with Christ. A relationship that demands more than the minimum from us; a faith that requires spending time in His word, in prayer and conforming to His will. This is not a faith of obligation, but an active, vibrant faith we choose because we long to know and please Christ.

Happy Birthday Mamaw!!

2009-03-01T08:30:00.007-06:00

Grandmothers and roses are much the same. Each are God's masterpieces with different names.
-- Author Unknown

Happy 89th Birthday Mamaw!

Brothers

2009-02-22T23:19:00.005-06:00

I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at. ~Maya Angelou

I am not sure what I thought my relationship would be with my brothers at this point in my life, but I never dreamed it would be as it is. We are seven years apart which means that I am 14 years older than my youngest brother. Growing up I had little to do with my middle brother, and being so much older I was more maternal to my youngest brother (considering the countless hours of babysitting). With seven years between us, we grew up as three siblings each an only child. Fast forward to 2009. We are all adults (at least by age). We each have distinct personalities and have become great friends. It is quite amazing, even surprising.

Of course, we are shared characters in a myriad of “growing up” stories. Of Marc, I remember that he spent much of his time alone in his bedroom playing with Legos. Once I blamed him for pushing me over causing stitches; a lie which to this day he has difficulty forgiving. Evan was the baby, but in order to coax him to behave I would scare him into thinking the police would come take him away if he didn’t do exactly as I wished. Funny thing is that it worked.

As Maya Angelou so eloquently penned, “brotherhood is a condition people have to work at” and we have. We are three unique people. Marc is pragmatic, Evan idealistic and me; somewhere in-between. As in any relationship we have made many concessions, overlooked little annoyances, and continually commit to strengthening our bond.

I often wonder what makes our relationship so special. I trace this back to our parents and their notion of how children should be raised. Having a sense self, the ability to articulate your views, loving people for who they are and a commitment to God were the foundation of our upbringing. These tenets are now the cornerstone of the relationship between my brothers and me. Laughter and sarcasm along with deep theological and moral discussions clutter our conversations. It may seem an odd coupling, but it works.

Some say a sister’s bond is extraordinary, but I say give me brothers any day.

4:30 AM Musings and American Idol

2009-02-12T05:21:00.003-06:00

I am finished with American Idol. In the past, I have enjoyed watching as the young, talented folks scratch their way to stardom. I have even tolerated Simon’s demeaning personality as “part of the show”. But how Nick/Norman got through and Jamar Rogers didn’t, is beyond me and Tatiana???---don’t even get me started. It is obvious that you can also be an American Idol if you appear to have that “psycho” quality which attracts viewers for the opportunity to see what nonsense you can come up with next. It’s not like the show is going to leave the air because I stopped watching; it is just at 4:30 am during a stressful workweek, this is what is on my mind. Crazy huh?

I Love Awards...

2009-02-06T16:43:00.004-06:00

...especially when bestowed by peers. SO, thank you Ann at anniegirl1138 for sending the Premio Dardos award my way.

If I understand correctly, it is now my duty (and privilege) to bestow this award to other bloggers I find impact my life. With honor I tribute....

Julia at Aunt Jul's - I enjoy her creativity and her ability to connect the past with the present.

Linds, at Rocking Chair Reflections , who reaches out from across the ocean to touch my heart with each post.

Tanja, at Dutch Delights, fearless in the way she lives her life and shares it with others.

Evan and Julia , who I wish would write more--they are so insightful and challenge me to think in new and different ways.

and finally,

Janine, at One Breath at a Time, a new blog that I just began to read, for her honesty, inspiration and radical faith.

Now each of you can pass the award on to your favorite sites.

Happy blogging...

Twenty Years Ago Today!

2009-01-26T06:00:00.002-06:00

My son was born twenty years ago today. I can’t believe how quickly time has past. He was born at 2:43 in the afternoon, which no one I worked with will ever forget as it was the EXACT moment the last bell of the school day sounded, my favorite time of the day=) I remember both grandfathers scurrying around the hospital nursery, twenty-pound video cameras in hand trying to out do the other at the art of video-documenting this momentous event. You see Chad was the very first grandchild on either side of the family.

For choosing to get married terribly young, I did make the decision to wait seven years before starting a family. Chad’s father and I had the blessing of cultivating our relationship before beginning a family and when it was time for the arrival of our first child, we couldn’t have been more excited or more ready.

The past twenty years have flown by. I have had the privilege of watching my little boy grow into an amazing young man. Life has been blessed, but not always easy. Forced to become the “man of the house” way too young, Chad stepped confidently into the responsibility with honor. Through thick and thin, he has learned to discern and accept what life has thrown his way.

Watching as he maneuvers each life experience and as he melds his knowledge of the world with what is good and right, has been a journey worth experiencing. Chad explores wholeheartedly his future; never dismissing any of life's possibilities. “Difficult” or “demanding” don’t seem to impede his vision. I also observe the way he loves, and am thankful for the years of influence his father obviously had upon the way he respects, honors and is devoted to another.

There is no instruction manual that accompanies children. You dedicate them to God in front of witnesses, knowing they aren't yours to begin with. You do the best you can, hoping they grow into stable, secure adults. You cherish each moment and pray you don’t squander the limited time you have to guide them, yet all too soon they are grown up. Today, I honor my son on his 20th birthday: a man who is one of the brightest lights in my life. I am sure his father is looking down with pride, cheering him on and knowing the impact Chad will have on his world. That is his legacy.

Learning Styles and an Epiphany

2009-01-19T22:19:00.002-06:00

Earlier this year, my students completed a portion of a learning profile to help me not only get to know them better, but also to guide my mode of instruction. As they completed an “All About Me” poster, a segment of the poster was set aside for them to record their learning styles. In a nutshell, they were to choose which analogy best described them as learners. Here were their choices with very simplified definition….

Paper clips are mastery learners, organized and attentive to detail.
Teddy bears are interpersonal learners and relationship driven.
Magnifying lens seek understanding through questioning.
Slinkys are self-expressive, creative and high-energy learners.

I shared these traits with my students; stressing that one was not BETTER than the other, only DIFFERENT. This may have been the most important lesson I taught all year. I then asked them to discern what type of learner they thought I was---99 percent said “SLINKY”. They were right. When analyzing other teachers in our building, the students were equally insightful and recognized where each teacher fell on the spectrum as a learner. We discussed what this meant for them as students (for example a Slinky in a Paper clip’s classroom) and especially what it meant about the way each of us learns. I had one student say, “Geez, this makes perfect sense. I sure could have used this information last year. It would have saved me a lot of time in detention.” Everyone giggled—even me.

What I didn’t tell them is how the “normal” (I know, that’s an oxymoron) classroom is made up ….
33-35% are paper clips
18% are magnifying lens
33-35% teddy bears
18% Slinkies
Interesting to say the least. These categories not only define the classroom, but also define the workplace, church, or social group.

Now, be this as it may, each learning-style brings certain challenges to the classroom. “Paper clips" learn step by step; "magnifying len"s learn doubt by doubt. "Teddy Bears "want everyone to feel comfortable and worry more about the emotional well being of others. "Slinkies" need movement and choice. Can you see the challenge?

Many dropouts are Slinkies, because school doesn’t tend to lend itself to their needs. With this in mind, I turn to my last hour class of seventh graders. After the first week of school, I was convinced that these students were going to be the end of me. Engaging them is exhausting and motivating them seems impossible. Now I know why---of the 15---12 are Slinkies. What’s worse—they have a Slinky teacher.

Now, several months later—we have grown to understand each other and I can’t wait for my seventh hour to arrive. Slinkies—unite!!!

Pushed Out of the Nest

2009-01-19T09:00:00.000-06:00

My first post at “50-something Moms Blog” went up today. This is my maiden voyage outside of my personal “blog-sphere” and hopefully the first step to writing outside the box. I would like to give a BIG shout out to Ann at Anniegirl, for giving me this big push "out of the nest" and supplied me the connection to this fabulous group of women writers. Thank you so much Ann. You are a true inspiration.

I am contracted to write at least write two posts a month, so that means deadlines---I know what you’re thinking; “Marsha doesn’t do deadlines”, but this will develop the discipline I believe writing requires. The hardest task has been to write a bio for myself. Have you ever had to come up with an "essay" introducing yourself? It isn't easy. You want to include the important information while sounding chic and credible at the same time. You have to interject just enough humor (or sarcasm) without coming off as "trivial". Anyway, if you have a moment check out the site and let me know what you think. On second thought, let me know what you think as long as what you think is positive.

It's a Family Affair

2009-01-17T20:38:00.002-06:00

Rosanne’s post about “Aunt Jenny…Ten Year’s Younger”, got me thinking about television shows I enjoyed when I was young. I had a great conversation with her as we reminisced about television lore. One of my favorites was “Family Affair”. Monday nights were sacred, as I would make sure to be home for every episode. I longed to live in a penthouse apartment on Fifth Avenue with Uncle Bill and Mr. French. The closest I ever came to any semblance of this type of life is that my nephews call me Aunt Sissie (not Cissy, like the show—but close).

Consequently, I ordered all 5 disc of the first season of “Family Affair” from Netflix. I have been watching each episode with a nostalgic eye and expected to persuade the boys to watch it with me again, for posterity---most likely won’t happen, but I will give it a shot.

I made several observations while watching disc one that were NEVER apart of my childhood memories of “Family Affair”, perhaps age and prudence has more to do with my insights than anything else. In the very first episode, Uncle Bill returns from a business trip abroad. Mr. French, being his “gentleman’s gentleman”, begins reviewing Bill’s itinerary---while Uncle Bill is taking a bath (yes, an odd scene today). Of course Uncle Bill smokes on the terrace—a HUGE “no-no”, and in another scene, Buffy, is being dried off after a bath—totally naked. Even at 6 years old, you don’t see that on television today. It made me realize that we have lost societal innocence – for lack of a better term. A case could be made for this being a good thing as well as a sad state of affairs.

The most prevalent memory, which has tugged at my heartstrings, is that of Mrs. Beasley. One of my prized possessions as a child was my Mrs. Beasley Doll. If you remember, Buffy NEVER went ANYWHERE without Mrs. Beasley. They were constant companions. When I viewed Buffy carrying her beloved doll around the penthouse, it was like connecting with a long-lost friend. I am not sure what happened to my Mrs. Beasley, but I would love to have her today--“My bestest and closest friend,” as Buffy would say.

It is interesting how pop-culture defines our memories. We recall songs, television programs or movies that mark our most treasured life experiences. How about today? What will mark the life experiences of our children? The Family Guy? The Simpsons? Desperate Housewives? Hmmm….

They Never Cease to Amaze Me!

2009-01-13T22:22:00.013-06:00

I hate it when I underestimate kids. I have been a teacher long enough to know better. This past week has provided me with incredible insight from my students. Following my personal exercise in choosing a touchstone word (see previous entry) and creating a vision board, I decided to present the same task to my students. What I received was beyond my wildest expectations.

To the left is a photo of a few touchstone words my middle school students created (wish I could have photographed all 120).

In addition, I asked the students to write several sentences explaining why they selected the word—here are a few responses.
My touchstone word for 2009 is…
…acceptance because I want to accept the way I am. I am weird, funny, pretty smart and cool to be around and I want to accept that for a change. I also want the people around me to accept that this is who I am.
…change because I go through a strict routine each day and repeat many things. Finding new friends, being adventurous and showing willingness would all be good changes for me.
…meditate because I need more focus and peace. I need to learn to focus on one thing.
…generosity because I think I need to be more giving. I could help out with things more at home and give up my own wishes to make others happy.
…trust because I need to gain my parents trust back. I also need to gain more trust from my bus driver.
…confidence because if I don’t start believing in myself I will never succeed.

The honesty of adolescent children mystifies me. They can peg themselves, as well as the adults in their lives, with more precision than any “shrink” and are far less expensive though more blunt and less congnisant of your feelings.

The next class period, following our selection of touchstone words, we discussed “vision”. We talked about what it meant to look ahead to the future and make decisions based on what we want to become, how we want to live, what we want to possess etc… I then presented to them my 2009 Vision Board (aka christinekane.com) and explained the importance of having a visual reminder of our hopes and dreams. One student said, "Yeah, so we won't forget, right Mrs. C-P? 'Cause I forget or lose something everyday."

"EXACTLY!" I retorted as I let them loose to create their own vision for 2009. I wish I could have filmed the presentations of their boards. It was inspiring to watch kids articulate their dreams and “get” what it means to have vision. Many of them included their touchstone word in their vision boards; spoke of wanting to be more environmentally conscious, or friendlier; of wanting to vacation in the Bahamas or go on a cruise; of desiring an iPod, new cell phone or paintball gun. More than anything, they seemed to enjoy exploring the vision and creating a reminder of what to strive for this year. Yes, they never cease to amaze me.

Touchstone Word of the Year

2009-01-05T20:46:00.001-06:00

My disillusionment with New Year’s Resolutions has caused me to search for an alternative goal-centered activity; one that would be more meaningful, less cumbersome and easier to attain. In my quest, I stumbled onto an idea from a fellow writer’s blog (christinekane.com). Her challenge is to come up with one word that defines this next year—a touchstone.

This seemed a daunting task, to come up with one word to define my entire year, but on Ms. Kane’s blogsite I found an exhaustive list of powerful words from which to choose. Normally, I am a very impulsive person; when given a task I generally act quickly and decisively without much forethought. Not this time—this time, I scoured the list. I studied it and even meditated on a few of the words for inspiration; hoping one would stand out as an obvious choice. Instead, several words jumped out at me—words like: integrity, courage, discipline, hope—all good, perfectly applicable to my life, but none of them seemed to encompassed my conception of a 2009 touchstone. So in a bit of frustration, I put the idea on the back burner and decided to give myself some time to really think it over.

Following dinner at a friend’s home this weekend, our gracious host gave Kent and I a small booklet entitled Continuous Revival by Norman Grubb. What makes this book even more of a treasure is that our host highlighted portions of the book that resonated with him. It was while reading this modest, but powerful book that it became clear what my touchstone word would be for 2009. It was if the word jumped off the page and right into my heart.

REVIVAL

According to Grubb, revival simply means, “the reviving of dead areas in our lives”. He continues to reveal that contrary to our human limitations, revival is NOT merely something we pray for and wait to occur, but “revival in its truest sense is an everyday affair right down within the reach of everyday folk-to be experienced each day in our hearts, homes, churches, and fields of service.” Yes, it is clear: revival is just what my life needs. In 2009, REVIVAL will be at the core of my actions. Renewing those dead areas in my life-the areas in my heart, home, church, job and life which I have allowed to lie dormant for far too long will now be my focus.

Revival of relationships
Revival of a healthy lifestyle
Revival of spiritual aspects of life
Revival of service
Revival of purpose
Revival of talents
Revival of rest
Revival…

If you decide to do the same, and create a touchstone word for the year, let me know. Post it in the comments or create a link back.

Best of 2008

2009-01-03T20:43:00.008-06:00

Marsha's Best of 2008

Best Event of My Year: March Wedding – our simple and intimate ceremony was by far the highlight of my year. Living life with Kent continues to be “the best”.

Best Family Event: Family reunion in Arkansas- there is something about connecting with your roots and those folks who share your heritage.

Best Read: Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett – best book by far that I have read in years

Best Surprise Movie: Slumdog Millionaire – surprise movie of the year. I loved it from beginning to end.

Best in Television: House/24 – plain great writing and acting

Best Decision: Starting to run/bike/swim –. I just need to get back to it—soon.

Best Monthly Events: Book Clubs – The best-buddies and the church-ladies are both the fabulous.

Best Comeback: Coffeehouse Theology Sunday School Class – for the first time in 20 years, I look forward to going to Sunday school every week. I didn’t appreciate how intelligent, insightful and wise my mother is until having the opportunity to sit under her teaching.

Best in Music: Lenny Kravitz –It’s Time for a Love Revolution

Best in Christian music: Chris Sligh – Running Back to You

Best in Education: PBIS (Positive Behavioral Interventions and Support) – most effective education practices in my career. Of course it is because at my school there is a total buy-in AND an exceptional PBIS team.

Best Card Game: A tie between Dominion and Great Dalmuti (check them out at The Boardroom)

Best Strategy Game: Pillars of the Earth

Now it is your turn. What would your best of 2008 list look like (or your worse). Either link back or post in the comments. Com'on now---share---you know you want to.

Status Bar as a Learning Tool?

2009-01-02T11:44:00.006-06:00

I love Facebook. It is, for the social butterfly in me, the best way to keep up with and connect with folks. Little blurbs of activity plaster the pages of Facebook and through multi-clicking of the mouse I am privy to a snippet into the lives of those I care about or am networked with in some fashion. The idea of the “status bar” fascinates me most. From the “status bar”, I know if Marc is watching football or playing games. I know if Sandra is off to the store or paying bills. I know if Evan is watching “Pinky and the Brain” or studying theology. My question is, do I need to know this? Or perhaps am I looking at this “status” tool totally wrong. Perhaps the “status” bar is really, well—an art form. Stay with me here…

As someone who values “good” writing, I find it challenging to create a succinct, informative, yet voice-filled “status”. It is remarkable what you can learn about a person through his/her “status”. Here are some examples:

A.B - wants to know why a woman in her 30's still loves White Castle cheeseburgers.
C.D. - is glad the holidays are finally over.
E.F.- is praying as I watch our teens ski down the big hill...no ER visits this time...please!
G.H.- wishes just the kids could go back to school on Monday and I still could have a few days by MYSELF!!!!!
I.J- is home. R. is fine. We are telling him "chicks dig scars." All is well.
K.L.- is watching house in japanese videos cuz he's so desperate to see season four.

Each status tells a story or is a window into the personality of its author. It is as if each author is crafting, for his audience, a concise synopsis of his current condition. Isn’t that what writing is all about - creating voice for your reader so that he wants to read on, investigate further or simply care about what you are writing, even if it is written in the vernacular?

Perhaps, as educators, we shouldn’t dismiss unconventional writing forums as rubbish, but instead embrace them as potential learning opportunities. How about a mini-lesson on writing an effective “status” on a social network? Talk about engaging the students—now there’s a topic that would grip their attention.

No one can deny that children are writing more today than any generation before. It may not be the writing of our ancestors (or even our parents), but we must acknowledge, as well as address, all writing forums as opportunities to hone the craft.

To Make an End Is to Make a Beginning

2009-01-01T12:12:00.005-06:00

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
- T.S. Eliot, from his poem, “Little Gidding.”

Ah—a new year: 2009. Traditionally, at this point, we create grandiose promises to others and ourselves that we will somehow live better in 2009 than we did last year. While this is a noble undertaking, the mere completion of such lists often leaves us with feelings of apprehension, as we seldom are able to live up to the expectations we set for ourselves. Every year I do this. I create a list of ambitious goals designed to construct a more fulfilled life for the next year; by March we are discouraged and disheartened because we have failed so miserably in my attempt to accomplish our set goals.

2008 was a memorable year. I experienced great personal triumphs and few personal disappointments. I climbed to the apex of joy and fell to the depths of discouragement. I, at times, was proud of my life choices and at others extremely embarrassed by them. Thank heavens, as T.S. Eliot so eloquently wrote, “last year’s words belong to last year’s language”. Though we reap the consequences of our choices, we also are granted a chance to begin anew.

This year, instead of creating a list of resolutions, I wish to “await another voice”. I aspire to be open to 2009 and whatever God has for me with only one goal--that by the close of 2009, I can say that I have lived the year with honor and integrity. This is not taking the “easy way out”, on the contrary. It will require far more from me than merely checking off a list of resolutions; it addresses the core of possibilities. It takes into consideration who I am and aspires to the person I can become.

With the end of 2008, comes the hope of 2009; “to make an end is to make a beginning". Here's to our beginnings...

Prepare the Way for the Lord

2008-12-12T06:00:00.000-06:00

Here is the second advent devotional I was asked to write this season:

John the Baptist Prepares the Way - Luke 3:1-6 (New International Version) In the fifteenth year of the reign of Tiberius Caesar—when Pontius Pilate was governor of Judea, Herod tetrarch of Galilee, his brother Philip tetrarch of Iturea and Traconitis, and Lysanias tetrarch of Abilene—during the high priesthood of Annas and Caiaphas, the word of God came to John son of Zechariah in the desert. He went into all the country around the Jordan, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. As is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the prophet: "A voice of one calling in the desert, 'Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him. Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low. The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth. And all mankind will see God's salvation.'

John the Baptist was called from his desert dwelling place to “prepare the way for the Lord.” What a tremendous responsibility fell upon this man; yet we are called to do the same. In the midst of our desert, we are called to prepare for God to use our pain for His glory. This is a conscious choice we make. John was called from the desert, but it was only by making the choice to heed the call and begin his ministry that John made an impact on the world. Through John’s obedience, the world was prepared to accept the Messiah.

When my spouse of 24 years died suddenly, leaving me widowed at 43 years old with two sons to rear; I entered the desert of my life. My identity changed in the blink of an eye. I was no longer married, no longer someone’s spouse and the secure identity I possessed for 24 years, was no longer mine to claim. A new identity defined me. I was a single parent; a widow and found these identities awkward and uncomfortable. Wandering the “crooked roads” and “rough ways”, I questioned whether life would ever be straight or smooth again.

In the midst of my hurt and disappointment, God began to call me out of the desert; urging me to prepare the way for Him to work through my life. I couldn’t change my life history. I couldn’t change my circumstances, but with God’s help I could change how the story continued. Making this choice freed my life to have new meaning. Pain no longer defined me, temporal titles no longer mattered; the mountains became low, the crooked roads I had been traveling grew to be much straighter and the rough ways became smooth.

It is while we wander in the desert of life that God often calls us. He calls us to prepare the way for His Son to work through our pain and be glorified in our surrender. Through our obedience in the desert place, God can use our circumstances not only bring healing to our soul, but to lead others to Jesus and his love for us. Just as John the Baptist was called to prepare the way for the Messiah to come and dwell among us, so we are also called.

No Vacancy!

2008-12-07T16:18:00.005-06:00

The NO vacancy sign is lit in front of our home. We are officially at full capacity. When I purchased this house three years ago, I had difficulty justifying the need for five bedrooms, but I always wanted a “study” and thought it was important to have a “guest room” for occasional visitors, so I was able to justify the purchase. Now I am sure why I “needed” to purchase a house too big for us at the time—to fill it up.

Two of my stepchildren came to live with us this past month. Though temporary, it has been an adjustment for all of us. I know that I have looked upon this new state of affairs pragmatically. I understood it would be difficult at times. I understood that there would be adjustments. I understood that everyone would have to be flexible. What I underestimated, but should not have, was the many blessings that often accompany graciousness.

One manifestation of generosity is evident in the loving nature of my family. They have accepted, valued, and even loved my new step family. My mother, as the matriarch, has covered our situation in prayer. Dad has been encouraging; always accepting as usual. The brothers have done what they do best—created opportunities for the Z and J to connect, with the family, with friends and with the church, of course this is accomplished through playing board games, but it works.

The outcome of embracing the boys into our lives has been that, though cumbersome at times, the transition has been smoother than I anticipated. Do I think this is it; that now we will live in some euphoric commune with little struggle? Not a chance. I recognize that we will be unable to circumvent frustration, irritation and confrontation. What I am hopeful of is that when confronted with these circumstances we will act in a loving manner that strengthens our character and fortifies our faith.

I have heard it said that when we become closer to God, we do not become more spiritual, we become more loving. Delving into the quintessence of God and who he is, radically transforms us and creates within us a less selfish, more generous, more productive and more loving spirit—the essential qualities that sustain us through ANY life circumstance--especially those that stretch us and those which call us to a sacrifice beyond what we ever imagined.

As a retrospect---this I know for sure...

Tuesday Triviality - Book Meme

2008-12-01T16:13:00.004-06:00

I have been tagged by my brother Evan. This meme is unusual in that it doesn't follow the "normal" meme pattern.

Here's the way it works. Apparently, I grab the closest book to me, which happens to be Devotional Classics: Selected Readings for Individuals and Groups Edited by Richard J. Foster and James Bryan Smith (sounds more theological than it really is). I then turn to page 123 and find the fifth sentence. After that, I post the three following sentences. Here goes...

"He was well versed in Greek philosophy, notably Platonism and Stoicism, but the basis of his thought was rooted in the Bible.
Gregory believed that the main use of the Bible was not for historical reflection but rather for growth in virtue. He and the other Church fathers used the Bible and its characters to teach us how to grow closer to God, how to "elevate" the soul to God."

This was an introduction to the author Gregory of Nyssa (331-396) and his collection of devotions. What's more--now I have to look up: Platonism and Stoicism in the dictionary. Maybe Wikipedia will do...
I am more of an "arm chair theologian".

I am not sure what the point of this meme is, but...

Now I am tagging: Tanja, Annie, Shelly and Rob

Advent - Transformed Through Waiting

2008-11-30T16:19:00.002-06:00

I was asked to write a couple of advent devotionals for our church this season--there is the first installment.

Jeremiah 33:14-16 (New Living Translation)

“The day will come, says the Lord, when I will do for Israel and Judah all the good things I have promised them.

“In those days and at that time
I will raise up a righteous descendant from King David’s line.
He will do what is just and right throughout the land.
In that day Judah will be saved,
and Jerusalem will live in safety.
And this will be its name:
‘The Lord Is Our Righteousness.’

This time of the year often takes on a totally different sentiment than we intend for it to possess. Life gets crazy; we become busier than ever and somewhere in the midst of living our life, we forget that this is a season of great hope and anticipation. As followers of Christ, we want to believe that Christmas holds spiritual meaning, but finding the time to explore this significance doesn’t always fit into our busy holiday schedule.

As Jeremiah prepares God’s people for the eventual coming of the Messiah, he implies that waiting for the Lord’s coming is not a passive pursuit. We are challenged to an act of waiting that is fervent and active. Advent is not just about waiting for God to fulfill his promise. It is about being transformed through waiting.

The challenge this season is to not only understand, but also acknowledge the fact that God’s promises are true; that we can have confidence in His word as we allow this fact to restore us. Pain, disappointment, regret and heartache are aspects of life as we wait, but hope is alive within us because Jesus provided the supreme sacrifice on the cross. It is through His sacrifice that we are assured eternal life and afforded the opportunity to anticipate the day the Lord will return

“We must accept finite disappointment but we must never lose infinite hope,” Martin Luther King Jr.

Death at Walmart--So Senseless!

2008-11-28T23:35:00.003-06:00

What have we come to? Stores open at 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning; only stocking 6 to 8 of the “bargains” advertised in the flyer—then we are SHOCKED when 2000 people await the opportunity to buy a big screen television at a bargain basement price, but what is the cost??—a human life??? How insane is that? Surely these people at Walmart feel all kinds of remorse – the kind that doesn’t allow you to sleep or even get through the day, but alas that isn't even the case. This Walmart worker was someone’s son—perhaps someone’s husband or someone’s father. What is WRONG with our society that someTHING is worth the price of some ONE?
USA TODAY ARTICLE

Happiness Doubled by Wonder

2008-11-27T21:04:00.004-06:00

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton, English writer (1874-1936)

This Thanksgiving I am not only thankful, I am truly grateful. I say this at a point in my life when one stepson moved in a week ago and the second one arrives on Monday. That will make a total of 5 males and one female in this household--5 adults and one adolescent living under the same roof and I am “doubled by wonder”? Why? Because God has chosen me to find and experience another great love, He has offered up the opportunity make a difference in the lives of those around me and has given me some sort of supernatural energy that is, most definitely, a prerequisite for my predicament.

I have never been one to take the easy road—how boring that would be? I have been known to claim God’s promises and then “test” Him or perhaps it is God who tests me. Whichever is the case, this Thanksgiving I honor the love that permeates my selfishness and calls me to a higher plane—a love that is sufficient and graceful--a love that puts what I want or need in second place to the needs of the ones I love. A love that I am incapable of, but with God through me is totally possible.

"By HIS own hand he leadth me"... as nostalgic as it seems---"This I know for sure."

Tuesday Triviality - Three Decades of NOT Being Cool!

2008-11-24T21:21:00.004-06:00

Taking my lead from Annie at Anniegirl1138, here is the Tuesday Triviality...
I was NOT cool in the past. I was lucky that my high school was known for music instead of sports, so for that--I was fortunate.

In the 1970’s
I was a “yell leader” for my school. This was for the girls who didn't have a chance to make cheerleading.
I was the treasurer of the student body
I listened to the radio non-stop.
I weighed 135 pounds at 5’11” and thought I was fat.
I played with Barbies until moving to Hastings, NE where my best friend thought they were lame, so I quit.
I rode a purple Schwinn banana seat bike.
I lived in a small town in Nebraska and walked/rode everywhere in town—it was really awesome.
I was not allowed to wear a halter-top—so I definitely missed my chance.
I didn’t go to any high school dance, including prom because, at the time, it was “against my religion”—now I look back---how stupid.
I was NOT allowed to watch “Family”, but would sneak a peak every once in a while.

In the 1980’s
I was selected for an elite Madrigals group at my high school and then--we moved my senior year.
Graduated from high school and then university.
Voted for Ronald Regan (and would again).
Listened to the Doobie Brothers and Eagles non-stop.
Stayed up to watch Princess Diana’s wedding at 4 in the morning.
Watched Dallas and Dynasty and could tell you who killed JR in 1991.
I didn’t miss “Days of Our Lives”
Drove an ancient VW hatchback that didn’t have heat—I used a scraper to scrap the INSIDE of my front window.
Met Don and married him the same year as Diana married Prince Charles—I was much more successful with love, but ended up having to live the same loss.
Gave birth to my first child, just as the decade ended.
Graduated from college and got my first teaching job (which I still hold today).

In the 1990’s
I lived through the Midwest Flood of ‘93.
I became a mother for the second time.
I traveled for the first time in my life to Washington D.C with a group of 30 middle school students---TWICE.
I thought I knew it all…and maybe I did then????
I gained 130 pounds, but didn’t really have an image issue—go figure.

In the 2000’s
I got one master’s degree and then decided to get another one.
I had gastric bypass and lost 140 pounds.
I lost my husband and my identity.
I bought a home by myself for the first time.
I traveled a road I never intended to.
I began to write again by starting a blog.
I met and married my second husband.
I became an instant mother of six and a grandmother.
I took up running, biking and swimming—a healthy lifestyle for the first time.
I decided that it isn’t about me, but about my influence…geezz…it took long enough.

What about you?

Cardboard Testimonies

2008-11-23T15:46:00.011-06:00

Inspired by the "Cardboard Testimonites" at Hillside church, our local, ministry team created a similar experience at our church today. Kent and I could not pass up the opportunity to give God the glory for what has happened in our lives.

After you view the video, you will understand our testimony:

OUR plans shattered by the death of a spouse.
Living GOD’s plan for the future.

I wasn’t prepared for the wave of emotion that seemed to overwhelm my family, my friends and me upon experiencing this moving event. Kent and I recognize God’s hand in our situation, but have been hesitant to claim it—as we did today through the cardboard testimonies.

The biggest blessings came from my stepson, who came to live with us this week. I am encouraged by the possibilities this “new start” will afford him and the opportunities for growth it will afford all of us. On the way to get into the car after the morning’s service, he told Kent that he was moved by our testimony and that our words were not only our (Kent and my) declaration, but also that of the entire family. When Kent recounted this incident to me, tears filled my eyes and my heart was completely filled with the promise that we are not in control, but God is…what a relief! Blessings abound!

How about you? What is your cardboard testimony?

Everything I Know About Life--I Learned From a Middle School Basketball Game

2008-11-11T22:27:00.005-06:00

Chandler’s first middle school basketball game was tonight. He started at center. On this, his birthday, Don would have been so very proud of him. Chandler had a cheering section this evening. Kent and I attended, Chad and Joy, Grandma and Grandpa Abla, and Charleen were all present for his debut. As I sat watching Chandler play, I was surprised to find how much the game resembled lessons I have learned in life, so in honor of Chandler’s first game, I bring to you…

Everything I know about life I learned from a middle school basketball game.

I learned that…

You wont always be first string, sometimes your job will be to come in after the all-stars are tired and take the game from there. There is no glory in this except the self-satisfaction of knowing that without you the game wouldn’t be possible.

You will always have folks to cheer you on, even if you totally mess things up.

You may have killjoys in your life who are pessimistic about pretty much everything—stay away from them—they affect your positive mojo.

Sometimes you have a good game where everything goes perfectly—you are in a zone; then there are other times when you couldn’t make a basket if your life depended on it.

Most of the rather big mistakes you make are soon forgotten by others, but remain in your memory forever--what good does that do?

Sometimes you get a “bad call”, but there is the benefit of the ability to blame someone else for it (referees).

Guarding yourself from injury is the first line in self-preservation.

You can’t make it to the end of the game without your teammates. It takes five to play basketball. It takes more to play in real life.

No one else will remember the score in a week, so perhaps you shouldn’t keep it. Sometimes we require more from others than we do ourselves. We remember the hurts and the offenses against us far more than they merit our time or energy.

Sometimes the game isn’t about the game. Chandler played a rather seasoned team tonight. He calls the Monticello Sages the Monti-steroid Sages because their 7th grade center is 6’2”. Anyway, after a crushing defeat he went to the concession stand and began to make friends with the other team—it’s his nature. For him, it is more about the relationships than the game – I couldn’t be more proud.

It is essential to have a strong coach, one who has played the game before you; one who owns the playbook; who encourages you; who calls you to discipline and finds value in who you are.

I am sure there are many more life lessons to be gleaned, but these are but a few of my personal insights. Care to add more???

Tuesday Trivialty is BACK--Take the Challenge

2008-11-10T19:47:00.003-06:00

Complete the following task with a word beginning with the same letter as your first name—common—it’s just for FUN!!!

1. What is your name: Marsha
2. A four letter word: Mall
3. A vehicle: Mustang
4. A city: Madrid
5. A boy's name: Michael
6. A girl's name: Melinda
7. Drink: Mountain Dew
8. An occupation: Monk
9. Something you wear: Muffs
10. A Celebrity: Madonna
11. A food: Macaroni and Cheese
12. Something found in a bathroom: Make-up
13. Reason for being late: My car wouldn’t start.
14. Something you shout: My goodness!
15. An animal: Mongoose
16. A body part: Mind
17. Word to describe yourself: Meaningful
18. A favorite word: Miracle
19. A movie: Mama Mia
20. A book you enjoyed: My Sister’s Keeper by Jody Picault

Leave your answers on a comment or refer back to your blog!! Enjoy!!

The Art of Racing Against the Wind

2008-11-05T21:32:00.005-06:00

A couple of weeks ago Kent and I participated in the “Spooky-Du(althon)”. It was a 1.8-mile run, 20-mile bike ride followed by a 1.8 mile run. My initial intention was to complete the entire race myself. As has been chronicled here ad nauseum, running is not my forte; I don’t really even like it. So when I noticed there was a “team category” for this race, I jumped at the chance for my husband to complete the run and I would complete the biking portion of the race.

Though it was unseasonably cold the morning of the race, we were filled with anticipation . The 1.8-mile run curved through Weldon Springs State Park (a beautiful venue) while the bike portion of the race was twenty miles through the Central Illinois countryside balanced with hills, curves and flatland. I was confident about the ride, as I am a much stronger cyclist than runner, but when confronted with the added hardship of 20 mph winds directly in my face, the first ten miles was brutal and my confidence began to diminish. Even seasoned tri-athletes said it was a challenging ride. Many times during those first ten miles I simply wanted to quit, or get off the bike and walk. I can’t remember ever challenging myself as hard physically.

As I approached the turn around, the front-runners in the race passed me going the opposite direction. I looked up to find smiles on their faces and an occasional encouraging “thumbs up”. It was obvious that if I could simply make it to the turn-around I would find great relief. The race totally changed at the turn-around. Heading back to the starting line, with the wind at my back, I was able to ride effortlessly much faster than my average speed and I felt a smile replacing the scowl on my face. Crossing the starting line was sweet and more rewarding than I can say.

Often, our lives simulate a race against the wind. We find ourselves maneuvering the hills and curves of life that we never dreamed would impede our journey. Adversity mounts to the point of breaking our spirit and we simply want to quit, or at least get off the “ride” for a while. Facing life’s trials is not for the faint of heart. The knowledge that the “turn-around” is within reach, where the wind will carry us to a more contented place, somehow keeps us going. Finding the courage, energy and strength to merely make it to the turn-around is the challenge, but we do make it; where the road gets easier, and the ride sweeter, where the smile returns, and contentment rests…that is…until the next race.

Above the Fold

2008-11-03T20:49:00.008-06:00

I know I have taken a hiatus from blogging, but I am back...

On the eve of what will certainly be the most monumentally historic election in our country’s history, our local newspaper has seriously missed the mark. There is a three-inch banner story at the top of the front page (no picture) about “Obama expanding ‘blue states’”—and that is the ONLY mention of the election on the front page. I am not kidding. The story covered on the rest of the front page with a 5 1/2” by 8” FULL color photo is entitled “Pennies from Heaven”. This story chronicles a family that is renovating an older home; who are finding pennies everywhere in the home and are sure that the spirit of their dead grandmother is leaving the pennies around the house. WHAT???? Just so you don’t think I am making this up, here is the link to the story:
Pennies From Heaven

In the graphic design world, there is a concept referring to the positioning of enticing news stories and photos placed above the fold on the front page. Supposedly, this is prime placement for articles that attract people to purchase the newspaper. Is the “ghost penny” story really what the editors of the Decatur newspaper think will entice intelligent people in our community to buy and read this newspaper, especially TODAY—the day before election day?

In the past, I have threatened to stop reading our local newspaper for a multitude of reasons, but this time—I MEAN IT. No longer will I patronize (vt. to be a regular customer of a business) the Decatur Herald and Review as long as they are determined to patronize (vti. to treat somebody as if he or she were less intelligent) me--and THAT you can print ABOVE THE FOLD!

This is Why I Teach....Tuesday Triviality...

2008-10-07T20:47:00.002-05:00

Though I KNOW this was scripted---it is still inspirational....

1o year old intellect...

Enjoy...

Tuesday Triviality-How I Have Changed Over Time...

2008-09-30T11:51:00.000-05:00

I subscribe to Dave Bruno’s blog since I stumbled on his “100 Thing Challenge.” A few weeks ago he posted 10 ways that he has changed over time. I decided to do the same—read on and then participate yourself. How have you changed over time?

1. Once I spent most of my time shopping, now I hardly shop at all.
2. Once I never exercised beyond walking to and from my car at Walmart, now I exercise daily.
3. Once I laid out at the pool most of the summer, now I can’t stand to lay out and you can tell.
4. Once I thought it was important to be right, now I think it’s more important to admit being wrong.
5. Once I love McDonald’s Big Mac’s, now I haven’t eaten one in years.
6. Once I swore my kids “would never”… now I know they probably will.
7. Once I couldn’t sit still in church…wait…that one hasn’t changed.
8. Once I cared about religion, now I care about the relationship.
9. Once I read two to three books a week, now I am lucky if I read one every two weeks (this really has got to change).
10. Once I never watched much television, now I watch too much.

If I could steal one from Dave Bruno, it would be his last “Once I cared about being successful. Now I care about being influential”. That would be my ultimate goal...

At Three Years...

2008-09-29T07:00:00.002-05:00

“Grief is the price you pay for loving someone.” Zig Zigglar

This is where I find myself. Three years has past and the grief still remains. Not in the same form or intensity that it has been in the past, but it remains a part of who I am, most likely in one way or another it always will be. I will visit Don’s grave today and especially honor his memory, but more than that I want to remember to pay tribute to his legacy.

I can’t believe it has been three years since Don was with us. The saddest part for me is the fact that I know other people probably won’t remember the actual day Don died. I don’t expect them to really. It is simply sad.

The brightest part for me is that we still speak of Don often, look at old photos and hold on tightly to the memories. We even laugh at things we know he would have found funny.

So many little things still remind me of Don. Things like every time I hear someone say, “That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” or when Mythbusters comes on; when I see a Martin guitar or when I drive by a golf course. There is sadness in my heart, but I smile at the memory.

In a strange way, even my ability to remarry speaks volumes to Don’s legacy. It is because our love was so complete that I am able to love again. It is also his example of how to love that lives on in his sons—their future wives will be so fortunate. Yes, grief is the price you pay for loving someone and we will pay it---gladly because the love was worth it.

In loving memory:

The 1,000,000 Word Assignment

2008-09-27T09:05:00.002-05:00

I spent my weekend reviewing an assignment that I gave to the parent’s of my students:

1,000,000-word assignment

I have read over 100 responses from parents who grasp the importance of introducing their child to me. The writings I received were as diverse as those writing them. I acquired compositions, poems, lists and even one 1200-word essay. Each response I read revealed the best qualities of their children, some that I may never have been aware of had I not had this “heads-up” from a parent. Often I found my eyes tear up at the beautiful words written by loving parents.

As I read each essay, it reinforced my belief that every child deserves to be perceived as their parents perceive them. Through these essays, I gained immeasurable insights into the children who visit my classroom each day. I know that I have always had my student’s best interest at heart, but it wasn’t until I had children of my own go through the education process that I “got” how important it is to reach those unreachable students. Many times these are difficult students who are often treated with disdain because of learning or behavior challenges. It was through parenting my own children and having to personally deal with educators who were inflexible, seemingly callous, and downright an obstacle to the learning process, that I realized how detrimental this type of teacher is to the profession. If your goal as a teacher is to engage students, how is it possible to do that without taking the whole child into consideration?

It is funny how when an idea or value comes to mind, it is often reinforced with something you are reading. While reading Brenda Dyck’s book “Rebooting of a Teacher’s Mind”, I was reminded of the times in my own life when home and school collided. It is because I have personally experienced these dilemmas that my classroom practices have been modified over the years. Life experiences like…,
¸ coming home late from work to a house that needs cleaning, laundry that needs to be tended to and a son with two hours of homework.
¸ helping my child with assignments or projects that had little to no direction from the teacher.
¸ the inability to help my child study for a test because I was just too exhausted to do so..
¸ single parenting….this is a huge one. I never understood how difficult this alone can be until I was one.
¸ rushing to get out the door in the morning and forgetting to sign something the kids needed for school.

There is no “child-mold” or a one-size-fits-all template for children. As I teach, I try to remember that each child in my classroom is someone’s prized possession. If naughty Nick were my child, how would I want a teacher respond to him, teach him or prepare him for life? All I know is that my role as a parent requires me to not only be the disciplinarian, but more often I am the encourager, organizer, manager, listener, and cheerleader for my children. It seems these are also perfect roles of a teacher. Who wouldn’t want this type of person interacting with their child every day?

Tuesday Triviality!

2008-09-09T21:21:00.002-05:00

Check out this article about social networking---leave your comments afterward:

Brave New World of Digital Intimacy

Musings From the Finish Line

2008-09-06T19:10:00.002-05:00

This morning Kent and I ran in a local 5K race benefiting the animal shelter. Our dogs came along and ran with us. It was a nice, low-keyed race for my first one. My goal from the beginning was to simply run the whole way (no walking) and to finish. Well, that I accomplished. I came in last, but attained my personal goals. Ironically, I ended up getting a medal anyway, as there were only three women in my age division. I took this as a gift from the running gods as a memento of my day.

Looking back, I am amazed at my journey from couch potato to runner. My best friend, Ginny started running earlier this year. We have always enjoyed the same things, but thought this would be the one thing I could never share with her. Kent runs as well, but I looked on it as a “guy thing”. Both Ginny and Kent encouraged me, challenged me and even pushed me to at least entertain the idea that I could be a runner. In early July, I ran out of excuses and decided to give running a try.

When I started, I couldn’t run to my mailbox. I remember the sense of accomplishment at each milestone; 1/4 mile, 1/2 mile, 1 mile, 2 miles and finally 5K. I would call Ginny just to tell her I had reached the next goal.

Signing up for my first race was just the motivation I needed to get up every morning and train. I was hopeful that losing a little weight would be a natural byproduct of taking this healthy step forward, but as of today—I haven’t been THAT lucky. I found inspiration through reading (of course, my precursor to anything) “No Need for Speed” by John Bingham and “Slow, Fat, Triathlete” by Jayne Williams. Taking advantage of the tools for training, searching for inspiration and the encouragement I received enabled me to attempt something I never thought I could.

As I crossed the finish line today with cheers from those who finished before me, I thought of the students in my classroom who never have the opportunity to feel the victory of “stepping across the finish line” academically. They attempt to maneuver their way through school dodging obstacle after obstacle in their path. They don’t know how to “train” or they lack the motivation to do so. They don’t seem to have anyone in their lives to encourage them, push them or believe in them. Yet, we expect them to perform on the same level as those students fortunate enough to not only have one, but all of those affirmations in their lives.

Is it true students have to “want” to learn for us to reach them, OR can their reluctance to learn be overcome by not only offering the “tools” to “train” but engaging instruction as to how to us them? Do they merely need someone to believe in them, encourage them and push them? I realize this seems oversimplified, but is it? Nothing to do with becoming a runner has been easy. To this day, I don’t necessary like it, but today I feel like a runner. Perhaps not in an accomplished athlete’s eye, but in my own and in those who care about me. By the same token, reluctant students may feel the same—nothing about school is easy, but hopefully through dedicated teachers, encouraging parents and “training” they can feel the satisfaction crossing over the finish line can bring.

What Happened to My Life?

2008-08-26T20:17:00.003-05:00

Here is why I have no time to write. This is a typical day in my life right now....

6:00 AM Wake up and run or ride for 45 minutes
7:00 AM Get ready for school
7:30 AM Go to school
7:40-4:00 PM Work
4:30-8:00 PM Chanman's bb game
8:00-9:00 PM Dinner with my husband--catch-up on the day etc....
9:00 PM Relax for an hour
10:00 PM Go to bed

HELP!! Where does writing fit in???? Where does ANYTHING else fit in?????

Letter to My Younger Self

2008-08-11T16:24:00.004-05:00

In the new issue of Marie Claire, there is a special “promotion” section publishing selected letters written in a contest entitled “Letters to Your Younger Self”. After reading the letters, I thought this to be a valuable exercise on many levels. My challenge to you is for you to do the same. The rules (you know I hate them): choose an age in which you wish you could write a letter to your younger self and then publish it on your blog (but don’t forget to link back or at least let me know you accepted the challenge) or email it to me.

Marsha (Central Illinois), 46
Writes to herself at age 19.

Dear Marsha,
As you stand before the minister today and pledge your love to another, know that you are about to embark on a new and marvelous journey. It will take you to the heights of love and contentment. You will be fortunate enough to experience great joy, yet coupled with that happiness will come great sorrow. Your choice to marry young will turn out to be wise and providential, despite the reservations of others. Becoming a woman of strength and purpose will begin today; as you choose to unite yourself with someone else. It will be many years before you appreciate and honor the fact that your mate gave you autonomy to be yourself, even as you learned to be a wife and a mother.

The life you have been blessed to experience up to this point will simply be the precursor to the life you will experience from here. Choosing to covet the strength found in family, friendships and spiritual commitment will allow you to live within the parameters of some of life’s most cruel narrations.

You will find that values guide your life. Things like education, personal growth and a real need to make a difference will cause you to take pause and often take action. I know you have thought little about these things up to this point. You will not be forced to do so for quite awhile, but that’s ok. You are predestined to live your life by taking chances and encountering life’s curves as if you could withstand anything.

Your love for life must never fade away. Self-disciple may evade you, minor irritants may momentarily distract you, but pure determination will enable you flourish. Your life will be blessed, not more or less than anyone else’s, but you will consider yourself fortunate.

You must move on from today as if you never received this letter, as my wish for you is to simply experience your life—just as you were intended. Have no regrets; for then nothing in your life will have been in vane.

Many Blessings,
Marsha

Meme-Tag

2008-08-09T14:22:00.004-05:00

KMY Tagged me from her Diary of a Nomad blog: I found this meme to be an interesting one...

The Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about six unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag six fellow bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the six blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Unspectacular quirks:

1. I hate it when chairs aren’t pushed in under the table. I will go around and do this even at someone else’s house. I share this quirk with my good friend Ginny.

2. I am terrible at remembering birthdays, but get really upset if someone else misses mine (that’s why it’s a quirk—it doesn’t make any sense at all).

3. When I start a book, I have to finish it even if it is terrible. I am trying to break this one. No one should waste his/her time on BAD literature.

4. I have a decorative calendar in my kitchen that has to be changed by putting the new calendar in a picture frame---the one in there now reads – MARCH. This is sheer laziness.

5. I am an AMAZINGLY productive procrastinator. I work better and more efficiently if I wait until the last minute to complete a task (and often do).

6. I am a TV-aholic. I love watching TV. Most people don’t like admitting this, but I imagine there is many more of “my-kind” than those who swear off television.

I will tag....
Chad
Joy
Marc
Kent (just to get him to post something)
Lisa
Rosanne (for the same reason as Kent)

Breast Cancer 3-Day

2008-08-08T01:27:00.001-05:00

Today is the start of a great adventure for my friend Bear (Barry). He begins walking 60 miles in three days to benefit breast cancer research. The crazy part is that he plans to do this TWICE—once in Chicago and once in San Diego. I have often said that widowhood tends to be self-absorbing, but not for Bear. He is constantly giving whether it is in welcoming newly widowed to the Chicago dinners, or walking 60 miles for a great charity. I can't wait to hear the details of his journey and I am sure there will be stories. Below is a link to his “Blisters for Boobs” website where you can read about why he is so passionate about breast cancer research. I know breast cancer has affected many of your lives in one way or another and if you are compelled to donate to Bear’s walk, there is a place to do that on his site as well. As for me, I am so proud to call him my friend and wish I were there in person to cheer him on! GO BEAR!!

Blisters for Boobs

Look Good Naked

2008-08-05T22:53:00.007-05:00

To say that I have body image issues would be a gross understatement. Sometimes I think I felt better about my body when I weighed 300 pounds than I do now. I am not sure why that is the case, because since my gastric bypass I have gone from super skinny size 10 (on my 5'10" body), to normal size 12, to a few pounds more. All in all, I am still 130 pounds thinner than I was when I began. This fact alone should be enough to keep me confident with my figure, yet it eludes me on so many levels.

Tonight I watched Lifetime’s “How to Look Good Naked”. This is not your run of the mill “makeover” show. Instead Carson Kressley attempts to assist a woman who is dissatisfied with her “less than perfect” body. He then endeavors to create in her an acceptance of who she is. The poor woman must stand in front of a mirror in only her bra and panties, which of course, she has difficulty doing, but seems to humor him just the same.

One of the most interesting experiments occurs when Carson brings several women out in their underwear and the subject is to choose which ones are bigger and which are smaller than she. She appoints all the women lager, when in fact; they are ALL smaller than she. Chronicling the transformation of the woman from self-conscious to self-confident is quite astounding. Just being privy to the change in the way she carries herself is somewhat astounding. There was no liposuction, no “nip-tuck”, no drastic makeup or extreme hair makeover; she simply begins to accept her body--even appreciate it.

I know I have lamented ad nauseum about the fact that my newfound athleticism has not paid off with changes in my body. I find that I am much more confident on the bicycle, in the gym or in the pool, but that confidence doesn’t seem to carry over to the full-length mirror. How should I expect anyone else to think I am sexy, if I don’t believe it myself?

Why is it that women have such a hard time when it comes to our bodies? The men in our lives love them, why can’t we? Shouldn’t we afford ourselves the same admiration as those in our lives who love us? Even when I was obese by children would say, “Mom, you are not fat.” I would dismiss such comments as silly, when I should have embraced them as the truth.

In this episode of “How to Look Good Naked” the subject’s most significant "aha moment" comes with her words, “I feel liberated.” That’s what loving your body can do. It can make you not only confident, but liberated as well. So, take off your clothes and take a good look…liberate yourself---and---look good naked!

Catch and Release

2008-08-01T23:24:00.004-05:00

Once again, this month’s church book club selection surprised me. I just finished “Same Kind of Different as Me: a modern-day slave, an international art dealer and the unlikely woman who bound them together” by Ton Hall and Denver Moore. Quite a title---quite a book. On the surface, it is a memoir about the friendship between a homeless man and an international art dealer. Along the way, the reader becomes caught up in the lives of three people. This book had me laughing one minute and crying the other.

How does an international art dealer (Ron) meet and befriend a modern-day slave (Denver)? Following a marital indiscretion and a renewed commitment to his marriage, Ron follows his wife Debbie’s lead and begins to volunteer at a homeless shelter in Dallas. It is through this active commitment to missions that Ron and Denver are changed forever. At one point in the book Ron asks Denver to be his friend. To which Denver answers his question by addressing his own bafflement with the “white folk” fishing practice of “catch and release”.

Denver went on. “I just can’t figure it out. ‘Cause when colored folks go fishin, we really proud of what we catch, and we take it and show it off to everybody that’ll look. Then we eat what we catch…in other words, we use it to sustain us. So it really bothers me that white folks would go to all that trouble to catch a fish, then when they done caught it, just throw it back in the water.”

“So, Mr. Ron, it occurred to me: If you is fishin for a friend you just gon’ catch and release, then I ain’t got no desire to be your friend.”

“But if you is looking for a real friend, then I’ll be one. Forever.” (p107)

Talk about powerful. How many times do we “catch and release” friendships? We excuse ourselves when friendships become difficult or circumstances change. We often expect more of friends than we require of ourselves. When complicated friendships begin to wane, we just let them go—release them. We invest time and energy into the lives of others up to a point, as long as the relationship is easy. I am not talking about unhealthy or abusive friendships; I am talking about choosing to disengage because the friendship is too demanding or we just don’t want the complication in our lives. In releasing these friendships, we rob ourselves the practice of grace and the blessings ascribed to such an exercise.

These thoughts force me examine my own “catch and release” track record. Am I requiring more of those I have released, than I do of myself? Have I made bogus excuses so that I can “feel better” about the release? Just as Denver, I am not interested in investing in a catch and release friendships. I don’t think anyone is. I want the integrity and courage to maintain friendships even when they may get difficult. I want the opportunity to practice grace and to work through the “hard stuff”. I want my friendships to be forever.

Motivation 911

2008-07-28T14:03:00.002-05:00

OK—I signed up for my first ‘athlon event. It is a biathlon in Springfield in September. I hadn’t worked out in about a week—lost some motivation and quite frankly got a little scared, so I signed up for this event to get me motivated (peer pressure might have been involved as well). There is nothing consistent about my life than its lack of consistency. I began to enjoy swimming and biking (I tolerated running, but liked how I felt afterwards). So, what would make me simply stop exercising one day and then seven days later realize—hey, I haven’t been working out? It makes little sense.

Apparently, I need motivation and something more than just feeling better and having more energy (raise your hand if you think that is a good enough one on its own). I need to drop three dress sizes or win a medal or something to keep me on track and since that hasn’t happened yet, I am open to suggestions….motivation 911.

Answering the Challenge

2008-07-23T22:08:00.006-05:00

My middle brother just began to blog again. I was glad to see him take the step back into the literary arena. He is a much better writer than he gives himself credit for, and the practice is good discipline. You can’t blog for long before you MUST write a blog—about—blogging. This week was his turn. Marc issued a challenge:

"So, here is my challenge – write in your Blog about why you do it. What are the 3 things that stand out when you ask yourself that question… I am curious to the different responses that will come out of this."

Here is my answer:

To hone my craft:
I am a teacher of writing and if I don’t do it myself I can’t imagine what I would teach. Many of the lessons for my students come from my own struggles and triumphs in writing this blog.

To share the journey:
Many titles define who I am (mother, daughter, sister, widow, wife, step-mother, teacher, Christian etc..). Each role is a fundamental component of my journey and the perspective by which I walk. I hope that through sharing the journey, I also connect with others along the way. I am thankful for my fellow travelers and the many ways they have, in turn, enriched my life.

To simply find discipline within my otherwise chaotic life
Anyone who knows me understands that I tend to live in the moment. I am passionate about whatever I do and tend to jump in with both feet without much forethought. Writing this blog, however is one of the basic disciplines in my life. I tend to write, re-write, revise, edit and re-write ad nauseam. I often go back to post made over a year ago and revise. No one, but me, would ever read them but I still amend.

I don’t believe it is essential that we have reasons for everything we do, but for those exercises in our life that matter---we should be aware of why. So, why do you----blog?

For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn.

2008-07-20T21:08:00.004-05:00

…is rumored to be a short story by Ernest Hemingway. There are many legends concerning this story, but the most accepted one is that he wrote the piece to settle a bar bet for $10.00. Could be it was written as a challenge, but either way, it's a complete work of flash or micro fiction (a sudden, short-short, postcard etc.. story).

Smith, an online magazine conducted a reader contest that turned into a 500 submission per day fiasco. The most poignant have been compiled into a book titled, “Not Quite What I Was Planning”. What was the jest of the contest?

Your life story in six words.

Some from the famous:

“Former child star seeks love, employment.” (Justin Taylor)
“Well, I thought it was funny.” (Stephen Colbert)
“Brought it to a boil, often.” (Mario Batali)

Some from the ordinary:

Happy we couldn’t conceive our own. (KC Kerpatrick)
Learning to save money saved me. (Kenny Stapleton)
Couldn’t say it so I sang it. (Alli Gator)

My principal challenged 8th graders to create their own life story in six words. She told us that she had been working on hers for six months, yet the 13 year olds were given a few minutes and a piece of chalk (to write their story on the sidewalks of the school-cool idea anyway). They came up with some fairly adolescent ramblings, some goofy wordage, and on occasion some profound thoughts.

So I thought I would take my shot at my own life story in six words. Here are two of my attempts at posterity.

Faced darkest night. Activated hope, nevertheless.

25 years. Ended abruptly. Confidence renewed.

THE CHALLENGE: Create your own life story in six words and post it below.

Run and NOT Grow Weary!

2008-07-19T22:01:00.003-05:00

While running, at times, it is impossible to find my “mojo”. Nothing seems to get me motivated, except music. I have several playlists for running on my ipod. They are categorized by genre, artist, even play-time. My favorite is “workout 2”, which is a compilation of Christian music. When I am to the point during my run when exhaustion set in, this song by Lincoln Brewster seems to find its way from the queue and into my headphones, giving me added motivation to finish.

I hate running. I like to ride my bicycle and I love to swim, but I really am not fond of running. Try as I may to acquire the “runner’s high” it eludes me…but running has become a matter of discipline. Not much in my life falls in that category—but running does…

When I run—I listen…

Isaiah 40:28-31
The Lord is the everlasting God,
The creator of all the Earth,
He never grows weak or weary,
No one can measure the depths of His understanding,
He gives power to the weak, and strength to the powerless,
Even youth will become weak and tired,
And young men will fall in exhaustion,
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength,
They will soar high on wings like eagles,
They will run and not grow weary,
They will walk and not faint.

Cause for Immediate Action

2008-07-17T13:12:00.008-05:00

What earth shattering event could compel me to pause, take stock and then pursue IMMEDIATE action?

Five words:

Four bathrooms --
NO toilet paper!

ARGH!

Surely you weren't expecting something profound today?

Change?

2008-07-14T21:44:00.002-05:00

This is a different post for me for it poses no answers, no self-discovery, no “aha’s”. It is an appeal for insights, of which I am finding elusive at the moment.

Chandler came back from camp this weekend. Along with stories of cliff jumping, tubing, and extreme sports tournaments came accounts of spiritual growth. I remember returning from summer camp when I was young—the amazing spiritual “high” from that week would bolster my spiritual walk for several months. What I remember most was the compulsion to change my life in “real” and remarkable ways. I would make lists of what I needed to change to become a more dynamic Christian. On the list would be things I needed to stop doing, start doing, and augment to fit my new aspiration. My life would begin to transform and real change would take place. I had a mission; a purpose and it seemed effortless to act on its behalf.

These recollections, and yesterday’s sermon, got me to thinking about “change” in general. Change is difficult and the older we get, the more difficult it becomes. I have always enjoyed the stimulus of change, yet as I age it becomes less and less enjoyable. Conceivably this could be because I don’t mind change, as long as it is of my design and control, but if it comes from some external source--I tend to recoil from it.

When change is crucial, I don’t believe that it can be mandated. It can’t be browbeaten into submission. It can’t be preached at, coerced or commanded and expect to be effective. Change must come from within us. We must somehow make a choice to become the conduit. I do believe we can be led to change; motivated to change, and even inspired to change (as often was the case at summer camp), but our hearts must be open first.

My question is--how do you initiate change? How do you become, as Mahatma Gandhi believed, “the change you want to see”? How do you reconstruct that “summer camp” experience to inspire spiritual change? How do you reclaim purpose and continue with the excitement and hope that should be found in the Christian community and most importantly whose responsibility is it?

Give Small

2008-07-09T21:28:00.004-05:00

Monday’s blog sparked quite a discussion in the Cuttill-Price household. My oldest son and I engaged in a conversation about how difficult it would be to volunteer for a mission/humanitarian trip of some type, but agreed that it would certainly be a life-changing experience for our family. Chad then went on to convey an experience he had at work last week that left a lasting impression on his heart and mind.

Chad’s job is “courtesy patrol” and that usually means taking care of the carts in the parking lot, helping folks to their cars and at times working as a cashier. It was in the later role he found himself last week, when an obviously needy family of four pushed their cart laden with home repair necessities through Chad’s lane. As he rang up the items, it seemed to him that this purchase would be a strain on their already stretched budget. Upon informing the gentleman of the total, a stranger from the queue stepped forward and told the family, “I don’t know why, but I feel God has asked me to pay for your purchase today.” Observably taken aback, the family was gracious and grateful. Chad was stunned beyond words, as the purchase was well over $300.00. In addition, the stranger handed the man $50.00 with instructions to take the family out to dinner.

Pausing long enough to reflect following the retelling of this story, Chad articulated, “Mom, I just want to make enough money so that I can help people like that.” Which got me to think—perhaps this is why more folks don’t give. Seems we have this illusion that in order to make a difference, we have to do something on a grand scale--that we have to give excessively in order for it to “count”. Discouraged at the inability to “GIVE BIG”, we often do nothing. What would happen if we began to give where we are, what we can, with the goal of becoming more aware of those around us?

Our conversation ended with the supposition that we could all begin serving others in small ways. Chad could save a few dollars out of every check and when he had $20.00 or $30.00, go to Walmart—eye a person of need, and pay for part of their groceries. We decided that for some people, $20.00 could make a huge difference in a weekly budget. So, the message is to give—give small, give anything, but give. Live outside your own existence. Look for ways to share. Not because of anything you might “get” in return, but because your life has been blessed and you can’t wait to bless another.

Bucket List

2008-07-07T08:41:00.003-05:00

You know how when you cry---I don’t mean a few tears—I mean bawl like a baby? I recently watched “The Bucket List”—and that was just what I did. I had one of those “ugly cries” that I haven’t had in a very long time. I am not sure where this came from; it was either a natural response to a movie about inevitable death or vent up emotion that I had not released in a long time, but either way—I was moved.

At this point in my journey, I rarely visit those moments of my life that were immediately pre- or postmortem with Don. I do this—on purpose as to not unduly disturb the reality my mind has created since his death; yet, I have momentary lapses that coerce me to once again face the demons of mortality. Watching this movie was one of those times.

Both of the men in the movie (Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson) have only been given a short time to live. Freeman remembers an exercises he had to do in college where each student was to create a “bucket-list”—a list of things they wish to accomplish before “kicking the bucket”, so these two men create such a list and set out to complete it before their imminent death. Of course there is no happy ending in such movies, or in life for that matter, but I continue…

After viewing the movie—I asked Kent, “What would be your ‘Bucket List’?” None of his answers were a big surprise, but I did learn something about him. He wants to see the world. He would like to tour the continents or SUBA-dive the entire universe. I have thought about this notion for a few days and have come up with this preliminary list.

Marsha’s Bucket List
1. Tour the Mediterranean – visit Italy, Greece, the Egyptian pyramids
2. SCUBA dive in someplace exotic. (Grand Cayman, Cozumel Mexico 7/09)
3. Learn to speak a foreign language well enough to converse with the locals.
4. Serve on a mission trip with my family.
5. Participate in a sprint triathlon or 1/2 marathon.
6. Read all 100 books on the National Endowment for the Arts “Big Read” list.
7. Write something lasting for each person I love.
8. Teach in the inner city.
9. Name a star.
10. Memorize poetry so I will have it to recite at appropriate times (rather a romantic notion)
11. Visit the rain forest.
12 Zip line somewhere warm.(Jamaica 7/2009)
13. Have something I have written published for real.

Some find this a morbid exercise. I find it a hopeful one. It makes me aware of what is left to do and the fact that finding joy in the journey is as important as the journey itself. George Bernard Shaw wrote the following that sums up the…

True Joy of Life

This is the true joy of life.
The being used for a purpose
Recognized by yourself as a mighty one.
The being a force of nature
Instead of a feverish, selfish
Little clod of ailments and grievances
Complaining that the world will not
Devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life
Belongs to the whole community
And as long as I live,
It is my privilege to do for it
Whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly
Used up when I die,
For the harder I work the more I live.
I rejoice in life for its own sake.
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
Which I've got hold of
For the moment
And I want to make it burn
As brightly as possible before
Handling it on to future generations

Tuesday Triviality V

2008-06-30T22:26:00.003-05:00

As per several of my blogging pals I am adding this as my Tuesday Triviality. If you take the challenge, let me know how you do by leaving a comment.

The Big Read, an initiative by the National Endowment for the Arts, estimates that the average adult has read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed. How about you?

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE. (can't underline here, so I capitalized them)

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 THE BIBLE
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 THE GREAT GATSBY - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy 25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky (partly)
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 THE KITE RUNNER- Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (I can still get nightmares of this one)
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHTTIME - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 THE LOVELY BONES - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 ON THE ROAD - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

If I counted right, I think that's 47--not bad, but wish it were more. Now it is your turn...

911 Fashion Emergency--Or Not Really?

2008-06-25T23:17:00.001-05:00

I have noticed something lately that has given me pause for consideration. Fashion seems to have become a bit sexist, and here is why I am considering this notion. When we are at the movies or at a restaurant and observe a young couple (obviously on a date) the female is most always dressed in a cute skirt, pretty top, her hair is styled with obvious attention to makeup and accessories; some even look as if they have stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine. Subsequently, our critical eye views the male counterpart who usually is adorned with a baseball cap, an old t-shirt, a pair of shorts in need of attention, and flip-flops.

I am not sure what this means, but the couple appears terribly mismatched. Don’t get me wrong, I know “clothes does not the man make”, but why should the girl be expected to take pride in her appearance if her counterpart could care less. Maybe I am missing it all together. Perhaps in these relationships the male is so secure that he doesn’t feel the need to pay attention to his appearance; but if this is the case, then why does the girl feel the call to appear fashionable? Does this mean she is insecure?

Now, I was raised with boys and raised three (working on four more), so I decided to take a look around my own home for evidence of such fashion bigotry and sure enough—in strolls Chad’s girlfriend with the cutest top and Bermuda shorts for their day out. Chad enters with gym shorts, a plain colored t-shirt, and baseball cap. This fashion dilemma exists, even in my own home.

All this week, we have been watching old episodes of “Family Affair”. Our society sure has traveled far from the social dress “norm” of the 1960’s. It isn’t that I think men should have to wear a suit and women an evening dress to go out on the town, but it does seem the pendulum has made a huge swing into a somewhat laissez faire attitude about dress, not to mention this gender inequity between acceptable attire for young men and women.

Here is my quandary; I am having difficulty figuring out if this matters. Is it really a matter of sexism or is it simply a matter of societal customs changing over time? What do you think?

Tuesday Triviality IV

2008-06-24T23:08:00.003-05:00

#1 Quotes I have come across this week and haven’t figured out how to include in a blog:

“I think it is like when you are in school and you think recess is NEVER going to get there.” Jody-Family Affair season one, disc 2.

“Learning is messy” – one of the tech. ed blogs I have been reading and for the life of me, I can’t find it again.

#2 A different prospective to the 100 Things Challenge that I wrote about last week. I think my sister-in-law is onto something here. I could do this one. The Great Summer Destrash 2008 In fact go ahead and sign me up.

Family Reunion Part I

2008-06-22T19:44:00.005-05:00

Today I experienced one of those bonding events—Chandler, Kent and I attended the “Price Family Reunion” in New Castle, Indiana. I love these moments where I acquire snippets of Kent’s history. The day started by attending the small Separatist Baptist Church where Kent attended as a child. Upon arriving, I experienced an extreme wave of nostalgia. The church itself reminded me of the small Nazarene churches of my youth. Upon entering the church, we sang hymns—yes hymns—great hymns of the church. I miss them so much in my worship. I understand that “praise choruses” are all the rage and in order to reach out, we need to be contemporary, but I miss hymns: those robust songs with theology and truth embedded therein. I know Chandler was on the verge of sleep for the entire time, but I really was present and “in the moment”.

Once the minister began to speak, I was taken back 35 years or so, to the preaching of Nazarene ministers of my childhood. I must have had a crazy grin on my face—not because his words were earth shattering, but because of the memories released in my mind. Following the service, I met the minister—he was a “fill-in” as this church is awaiting the arrival of their permanent pastor in a few weeks. Anyway, upon more interrogation, I find that he is—indeed—a Nazarene minister (I knew it—I can pick them out in a crowd—LOL). He went to Olivet (as did I) and was friends with the man who pastured the church here in Decatur in the 70's before my dad. He also knew dad, as the Nazarene world is mighty small. I felt contented. I hadn’t worshiped in, what some might label “archaic” means, in years and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment.

Following the service, we headed to “New Castle Memorial Park” for the reunion and the quest to meet the extended family. I was impressed with the folks I met there. They are genuine, loving people who respect each other and serve the Lord with delight. The warmth I felt is something I will not forget. They welcomed me to the family and made me feel at home. I enjoyed the stories, of Kent’s past escapades—which participants were more than eager to share with me. This information certainly begins to fill in the mosaic that is Kent.

I hadn’t planned on being this content after today. I worried that I would “fit in” and that Kent’s family would “accept me”. So what is the result? Turn about is fair play-it will be Kent's turn next week at my family reunion in Arkansas? I can only hope he feels as fulfilled afterwards as I do this evening. Life truly is all about connecting….

Celebrate Today

2008-06-21T21:40:00.002-05:00

Kent and I are visiting my baby brother, Evan, this weekend. He has a cat and since Kent is highly allergic to cats, we got a hotel for the weekend. We got up this morning to run and it was the most difficult run I have ever had. There was no clear place to run, so we started following a sidewalk and it ended abruptly, so we turned around and treaded in another direction only to find overgrown shrubs, uneven pavement and other dead ends impeding our path—but we kept on going until we successfully ran the two miles we set out to accomplish. I hated it—it wasn’t a bit fun; however, when we finally ran into the hotel—I was so proud of myself for actually completing what I embarked upon and viewed as impossible. I promise, in the future, I will keep the running analogies to a minimum; but I couldn’t help but see the collation between this morning’s run and my journey as a widow.

When Don died, I thought it would be impossible to move forward. I started the journey and before too long I would hit a dead end, or some other impediment that threatened to derail my efforts. Truth be told, sometimes I did derail, but would get back on the path with the help of family, friends and faith. It isn’t fun, but there are times I do feel I have made great progress. I don’t believe I have reach the finish line, but I am proud of what I have accomplished thus far. I feel I am at a level place where my pace is comfortable and I am finding that my “second wind” prevails despite obstacles in the road. I realize the race is far from over, but also acknowledge how important it is to review where I have come from and celebrate where I am today.

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

The IRONIC has come full circle

2008-06-17T22:29:00.003-05:00

Don was one of the most “fit” people I know. He played golf several times a week, rode his bicycle, and ran. He also had high blood pressure and high cholesterol. It never made sense to me. Even when I weighed over 300 pounds, I didn’t have these co-morbidities---until two weeks ago. I had my annual exam and low and behold---my blood pressure was high. I rushed to the appointment and dismissed it as a “fluke”. Then I had Ginny take it again this last week---it was high---then again two days later---high. DANG!!! So I made an appointment with my GP. After taking my blood pressure—yes it was high, he asked me about my family history. Well----grandmother, father, mother and younger brother are all on blood pressure meds—does this mean anything??? Apparently—it does. Did I get the skinny gene from my mother NOPE--I get the high blood pressure one.

I don’t want a “label”—dang it—for the first time in my life I am physically fit. I run 3 miles and bike 10??? WTH??? But because of my genetics I need meds—so—I started them today.

Dang it---

Tuesday Triviality III

2008-06-17T08:15:00.003-05:00

First, let me say you MUST watch this all the way through. I know it is 10 minutes long, but worth the time. Tanja had an interesting post the other day about marriage/relationships the second time around that made me think about how much easier this marriage is (at least in the beginning) because of what we learned the first time around. When Kent and I watched this video he was a step ahead of Mark Gungor in his presentation, knowing what Mark was going to say next (like some male mind-meld). Apparently, Kent did learn much about the man/woman communication from his first marriage. So, gather your young adults around, this is perhaps the best video to explain the difference between men and women that I have ever seen.

And finally, I love words. I like creating them, changing them, exploring them and yes---creating something with them. Have a few minutes? Try creating your own Wordle: If you do, be sure to email me or post a comment. It might even let you copy the html and post your Wordle--which would even be better. My creation is to the right of this post.

What's the Big Deal About Social Networking?

2008-06-16T09:53:00.002-05:00

I have had a Facebook account for several years, ever since Chad began showing an interest. I opened the account fully intending to use it as spyware to keep tabs on the content of my son’s cyber life. But let’s face it, spying is not what it is cracked up to be and sometime after signing onto Facebook I decided that Chad had never done anything to make me suspicious or to distrust him in any way, so there account rested - dormant until this week.

My decision to awaken my Facebook account came from a renewed interest in technology and its implication for education. I wanted to research the arenas where kids are connecting outside of school to understand how we can use this information to connect them INSIDE school. I know this isn’t a new pedagogical facet in education, but there are many new technologies that are simply not being utilized to reach kids. Social networking (Facebook, Myspace etc...) is one area that has grown tremendously in the last five years.

Shortly after reviving my Facebook account, setting up my profile and organizing my home page—I began to find “friends”. For those of you unfamiliar with Facebook, you can search for people that you might know, send a message you want to add them as a “friend” and once they accept—that’s when the fun begins. At this point you can look at their “friend list” and see if you know anyone, request to be a friend and within cyber-minutes you have your own “friend list”. It cuts “six degrees of separation” down to one or two. One of the amusing aspects of “friends” is finding folks with whom you have lost touch. With one click of the mouse, you are back in the middle of their lives. Within minutes you know if they are married, where they are living, if they have children, where they are working, if they had sushi for dinner etc….

I admit that I am far and above the average age of the normal Facebook client. Most of the Facebook population includes late teens and young adults. What was most surprising was that many of them have 200 to 400 friends! WOW! How can you have 317 “friends”? I have a hard time keeping up with the real ones that I actually see and meet for coffee on a regular basis (my generation is showing) or the few more who I email on a daily or weekly basis.

This got me thinking about what social networking means to this next generation (generation Y if you will). Keep in mind that you can’t complete any task on Facebook without the entire network knowing what you did. If you change anything, write anything, or navigate anywhere within Facebook, it is recorded it on your “mini-feed” for all to see – “Marsha, changed her weight to 130 pounds.” Which comes to my next question. Don’t these people care about privacy? In talking this over with Kent he brought up a great point. He said people of generation Y have a different concept of privacy than generations before. They view their life as an open book to be shared with any and everyone. It is more important for them to connect by revealing aspects of themselves that many of us “older folks” would never share, let alone print on a public page for all to read. The caveat is that a fair amount of information is, well less than truthful, so discernment becomes a skill necessary to cipher genuine intentions; a skill I am not sure most young people have fully developed.

Cataloging 317 friends on your Facebook account does not necessary signify popularity. It does; however, suggest that you are resourceful and there is a part of me that wonders, “Why can’t I have 317 friends, instead of my measly 27?” Fact is, I really don’t want 317 Facebook friends, but I understand why my younger cohorts would.

I enjoy the social aspect of Facebook. There are components of it that I find addicting. You truly could sit at your computer all day sending “flair”, “hugs” even “Iconograms”. You could play “text twirl”, “superheros” or find out “what Simpson’s character are you”, but in the end you eventually have to venture back out into the real world and develop real relationships---don’t you?

Until then—feel free to visit me—even become my friend.

Marsha's Facebook

A Father's Day Tribute

2008-06-15T16:17:00.005-05:00

The boys and I have been so very fortunate to have exceptional men in our lives. Their father was a man of honor whose time on earth may have been shortened, but whose influence will live on in the lives of his sons forever. From him, Chad and Chandler learned life’s most vital lessons and for that I am eternally grateful. They carry Don in their hearts when they are up against life decisions and ask themselves, "What would Dad do?" or each time they pick up a guitar, or a golf club. Happy Father’s Day, Don.

My father is the one man I have loved since birth. His constant care and love is infinite. Frequently, church parishioners stop to tell me how much dad means to them. They never just say, “Marsha, your dad is the best.” They always have a story to tell about how dad spent hours with them in the hospital, or helped them through a difficult time in their life, or simply stopped them and asked how they are doing or to provide an encouraging word. I beam—I am so proud of him and I don’t tell him enough. The measure to which the church respects and appreciates dad, doesn’t come close to how much I do. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

As we blend our families, Kent has had a difficult charge. What I know for sure is that he is a great father. His kids are crazy about him and talk to him most every day. I know it is difficult for him to be away from them this Father’s Day, but we hope to make up for it next weekend. Of course, the thing I appreciate about Kent is that he has grown to love my boys. He, in no way, tries to take the place of their father; in fact he quite often asks about Don and is always interested if the boys mention their dad. He allows them, even facilitates upholding their dad’s memory. The boys have grown to love and accept Kent as an important man in their life. He is often the one they go to for advice and assistance when life throws them curves. More than anything, he is a willing co-parent with me. He supports me as I do him. So today, I wish him a very Happy Father’s Day.

Admirable men understand the important role that they play in the lives of their children. This goes far beyond “being there” or not “being there”. It means connecting with them in a real and lasting way, forming a relationship that sustains time and judgment, coupled with loving without limits. Never should this relationship be taken for granted, for all too soon in can be stolen from us. If you are fortunate enough to have a Father in your life, celebrate him today. If you no longer have one in earthly terms, celebrate the day by honoring his memory.

"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." -- Clarence Budington Kelland

On a Short Leash - Not What I Thought

2008-06-13T12:34:00.003-05:00

This week, I had lunch with my sister-in-law who lives in Dayton (check out their blog). She was telling me about an article that she had read in SLATE about a Buddhist couple married for 10 years who had NEVER been more than 15 feet apart the entire marriage. They considered this a “high form of Buddhist practice”. Personally, I consider it a “high form of insanity”. Anyway, when David Plotz (a writer for SLATE) and Hanna Rosin (a writer for the Atlantic), read of this story they decided to experiment themselves and try to stay within 15 feel of each other for 24 HOURS. Needless to say, their exploits for that time period are chronicled in the following SLATE article – On a Short Leash.

I am a very independent woman, always have been, always will be. I take my responsibilities, obligations and commitments very seriously; but they are mine to make. I am fortunate that I have always had men in my life who were confident enough in themselves to actually appreciate, even nurture, this aspect of my temperament.

Summer has always been a time when I am in charge of the day. If I wanted to go to shopping, take the kids to the pool, clean out the storage room or sit around and read---I could. Don always worked away from home and when he came home at 5:00, I would feel I already had all the time I needed or wanted to plan things for the kids and I and at that point in my day, I was ready to be full time wife and spend the evening with him. On occasion, I might have had an evening out with friends, but for the most part that was time for us.

Kent works from home…can you see where I am going with this? Now, I was afraid of how this might to pan out. I wasn’t used to having another adult around or being accountable to anyone else during the day in the summer. I was concerned with how the kids and I would stay out of his way and well---he out of ours. I was worried that by being together so much, we would grow weary of the other, become short tempered even get sick of having the other around. We wouldn’t be 15 feet apart at all times (which I find an astonishingly short distance), but we would be in the same house most of the day. Before we got married, I contemplated what this might look like and worried it could become stifling, fortunately that has not been the case. In some ways, by having Kent closer in physical proximity during the day, I have felt more independence than ever.

I enjoy being able to pop my head into his home office and just say, “hi”. I like knowing his routines, habits and schedule. I love being able to eat lunch with him most day’s coupled with the freedom to meet friends if deemed essential. He is here for “check in” with the boys, and on busy days he is often their “go to guy”. I am the beneficiary of his more flexible workday. Yes, there are times we can spend an hour running an errand during the day, knowing that he will have to work a little later into the evening to make up the time, but we get to do it together.

The down side of this arrangement is that he also travels with his job. Sometimes infrequently, but more often than not he travels at least 2 days a week. You might think this offsets the days he is at home all day, but I don’t find it the case. Just as David Plotz states in his piece, when Kent is gone it’s like I can’t see him and it is disconcerting on a certain level. I never expected to feel this way, yet this is where my life situation has brought me.

One reason this works is that Kent really “gets me” and I him. I know when he needs to be alone, and give him that space. I know that he enjoys spending a little time with me during the day, so I oblige (this one is easy as I love it too). I still have my independence, but I also find I enjoy the opportunity to spend some of my daytime hours with him.

Could I spend my life no more than 15 feet from Kent? Absolutely not, more likely than not it would be ME who would drive HIM crazy. Perhaps the part of this equation that is missing is choice. It is not in an attempt to reach a "higher plane" that I enjoy being close to Kent. It is because we have chosen this arrangement to be an aspect of our lives. I take pleasure having him in close proximity. It is an unexpected benefit to this “chapter two”.

YIPEE!!

2008-06-13T11:16:00.002-05:00

I ran the equivalent to a 5K race today (3.1 miles). It is amazing to me that just a few weeks ago I laughed at the prospect of becoming a runner and enjoying it on top of that. But here is where I find myself weeks later---surprised? You betcha!!! But it is one of the greatest feelings in the world. If I can do this, I PROMISE anyone can.

Literary Clutter 911

2008-06-12T09:24:00.005-05:00

Today is one of those times when I have decided that being an ardent reader is both a blessing and a curse. I have seven windows open in my browser. I have four (yes, 4) blogs started in four other windows each responding to something I READ yesterday. First there is the Buddhist couple who have never been more than 10 feel apart for the ten years they have been married. Then there is the story of the San Diego man who looked around his families home and decided to begin a “100 Thing Challenge” to limit himself to a mere 100 personal possessions. Of course there is a “running” story, a “Family Affair” writing and on and on and on…

I am in the progress of reading four books and three magazines simultaneously: one for fun, one for training, one for spiritual connections and one for well—pop culture? Isn’t this SUMMER, a time for balance and renewal?

In analyzing this phenomenon, I have come to some conclusions. Before Don died, I used to read voraciously – at least two to three books a week. After his death, my desire to read anything, but information that would me take hold of my grief, was gone. Reading actually became a chore for the first time in my life and I hated that about myself. However, during this time, I did begin to write and write and write. Writing became the creative outlet reading once owned.

Herein lies the problem. My passion for reading has returned, but I also still have a zeal for writing. So I look at this morass of clutter that is my laptop, with the realization that I MUST begin to think – B A L A N C E. I seem to have found this illusive concept in other aspects of my life. Balancing my roles as wife, mother, daughter, teacher, friend and taxi driver seem reasonably sane. I have even been able to balance my fitness and health goals, but this literary clutter is making me crazy. Isn’t this the most bizarre “problem” someone could have? I don’t know of any therapist specializing in eliminating literary clutter? Looks as if I will have to attempt this on my own.

Marsha’s 911 steps to eliminate literary clutter:
1. Set aside one hour in the morning to read/answer email, read other blogs and check online news (yes, I will most likely have to set a timer)
2. During this time I need to jot notes for future writing in my writer’s notebook.
3. Have no more than two books and one magazine on-going at one time. Recycle magazines as soon as I finish reading them, tearing out and filing any articles I’d like to keep.
4. Prioritize future reading so that when I finish one book, I know what to pick up next.
5. BE flexible with this plan, knowing that at some times I will lapse and that’s OK.
6. Set aside an additional hour in the day to write. I am not a professional writer. It is NOT my job. I have many other aspects of my life to tend to---so this is plenty of time.

Now, I am taking bets---who thinks this plan will last a day? A week? A month? Those of you who know me best---what’s your prediction? I will give you a clue---I wrote this piece yesterday, so what did I do last night? I rejuvenated my much ignored Facebook account, added flair and friends---geeezz……

Tuesday Triviality II

2008-06-11T10:57:00.002-05:00

Literary clutter seems to have overtaken my life (blog to come) so today, for Tuesday Triviality I am going to purge a bit of it instead of giving in to my urge to write a blog about each. What I want from you is your reactions to the following

First, is a story on the SLATE sight about a Buddhists couple who have NEVER been more than 15 feet apart for their entire ten year marriage.
On a Short Leash

Second, is a story in Time magazine about a San Diego man who has decided his family clutter needs to be eliminated and has begun a “100 Thing Challenge”.
How to Live With Just 100 Things
100 Thing Challenge

Finally, just something to ponder:
What does Geronimo yell when he jumps out of a plane?

Have a tremendous Tuesday!

The Ultimate Self-Help Book

2008-06-09T09:53:00.001-05:00

I own many different Bibles. Seems like for years, my parents would buy me a new one for by birthday or Christmas. There are more Bible translations and paraphrases than one person could ever need and I have them all: The Message, The King James Version, The New King James Version, The Living Bible, The New International Version, The American Standard and on and on… I do have my favorite. It is leather bound Thompson Chain New International Version. I will never forget the controversy my father stirred when he switched from reading the King James Version to the New International Version from the pulpit. One parishioner, in particular, stood up in the middle of a church service and challenged this new “version” as heresy and never darkened the door of our little church again.

My burgundy, worn Bible has seen me through marriage at a young age, the birth of my children, physical ailments, the death of my husband, milestones, life struggles and my recent remarriage and blending of family. Opening it’s cover you will find markings, tags, underlining, highlighting, bent pages, dates written in margins, and personal notes connected with scripture that resonate specific times in my life. It is, likely, my most prized possession. If lost or destroyed, it is the one material possession I would find to be a significant loss.

When I was growing up my grandmother used to challenge us to memorize portions of scripture, expounding the benefits of “hiding God’s Word in our hearts”. I was a good at it. I could memorize quickly, much to her delight. Psalms 23; Psalms 139; Romans 8; 2 Timothy 2; I have forgotten many things that I memorized in my past, but these scriptures remain in my recollection. I have found solace, as well as frustration at my attempts to reconcile life with the Holy Word.

I have never used scripture to “brow-beat” my children or others on the journey. I find the Word of God to be the foundation for life, not a tool for chastisement. The thought of thumping my children with the Word of God is foreign to me and I don’t believe it to be congruent to Biblical teachings anyway. I hope my children come to the realization that the Word is the solid foundation for their faith. It is the one means by which I believe God speaks to us today.

Within it’s pages are contained the answers so many seek in how to live with honor and principle. With all of the “awaking your life’s purpose”, Oprahish, guru-seeking books on the market today, this is the only one that has stood the test of time and scrutiny. Its words span time and history revealed to be undoubtedly the ultimate self-help book.

“For the Word of God is living and active.” Hebrews 4:12

The Step-Dog

2008-06-07T14:53:00.003-05:00

Kent and I have been married three months next Sunday. We have blended our families as best we can, for having mostly adult children; but this week we added a step-dog to our family. Kent’s sons in Indianapolis live busy lives and though they love their dog they were were unable to give the time and attention he needed, so Joey, the Miniature Schnauzer, became a part of our everyday life. I have always wanted a dog to take in the car with me—Chelsie (our golden retriever, sheds and really doesn’t like car rides) but Joey “fits the bill” perfectly. He loves riding in the car, or spending the afternoon snuggled up on the couch. It is amazing how dogs adapt to their environment—as long as they feel welcomed.

Chelsie, Joey’s stepsister, is having some adaptation issues. She has been “top dog” for many years and now must share the spotlight with this new canine. She seems a bit jealous at times, but on the other hand seems to delight in the camaraderie another doggy companion provides.

Within the first few days, Joey learned many new positive behaviors. He used to dart out the door whenever anyone went in or out, but now humbly sits and waits to be greeted. Kent was surprised at how quickly Joey has learned manners. I am sure that Joey will have his “days”, just as we all do; but we are still glad he has joined the family.

It seems we humans could learn much from our dog companions. Dogs, unlike people, give unconditional love. They never hold your transgressions against you—they don’t even remember them after a few seconds. They are uncomplicated and simple, affording them a contented state of mind. I long to become uncomplicated: to love without boundaries and to live without worry. As Will Rogers once said, “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."

The Arte Y Pico Award!

2008-06-06T09:50:00.002-05:00

I was awarded the Arte Y Pico Award by Annie, a fellow widow/writer/chapter 2 journeyer, who writes a blog (Anniegirl1138) that I enjoy reading everyday. Annie presented me with this award today with the following instructions:

1. Pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.

2. Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog.

3. Each award winner (upon acceptance) should show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award.

4. Show the link of Arte y pico blog , so everyone will know the origin of this award.

5. Show these rules.

I have never heard of blog awards until today. Upon research, I found that many blogs have awards attached to them--never paid much attention to those little iconic thingys at the bottom of blogs. I am honored that Annie chose me for this award, but am more honored that she often posts comments on my blog that always encourage me as a writer and a person. Since she has already received the award, I can’t pass it back to her, yet that would be my first choice, SO, after much consideration, I have decided to pass on the award to the following:
Rob
Shelly
Evan and Julia
Alicia
Rosanne Though she just began blogging, I have learned much of what I know about teaching writing from her.

Here is a huge thank you from me for enriching my life with your words.

Realistic Victory!

2008-06-04T16:43:00.004-05:00

As a beginning runner, I long to look like the guy down the street when he runs. He has long, muscular strides, his form impeccable and seems to run effortlessly. He is an “Adonis of running”. As much as I admire his abilities, it would be ridiculous to set my goals by his standards. I mean, he is half my age, not even my gender and obviously has more athletic genes in his little finger than I have in my entire body. But this is what we do in life; we compare our journey with that of someone else and set our goals by another’s standards then are surprised and dejected when we don’t “measure up”.

I understand that goal setting is paramount to success in any new endeavor, yet doing so often leads to failure. Why-- because we are unrealistic in our expectations. I tend to set unattainable goals like: lose 20 pounds before a wedding in two weeks, then I am shocked, disappointed and left with feelings of failure at my lack of achievement; when in reality, I set myself up for failure.

When I began to run, I made a conscious decision to set small, realistic goals that would lead to my one big desire of running a 5K race before the summer is over. Let me remind you that on my first attempt to run, I may have actually jogged – a block without needing a respirator to breathe. My first goal was to run ONE mile without stopping to walk. Each day I have watched myself come closer and closer to attaining this goal.

Today I actually reached it---

When I hit that one-mile mark, I felt like Rocky Balboa running the streets of Philadelphia. I am sure I heard the beat of the “Rocky Theme” bellowing in my head, as I looked the fool—jumping up and down in the middle of the sidewalk celebrating self-victory. I know one mile isn’t that far and that I have much further to go before I can run 3.1 miles without stopping, but this was a huge accomplishment for me. I immediately called Kent and Ginny, huffing and puffing as I shared my achievement. They cheered for me, and encouraged me and represented all that someone who loves you should be.

Why it is that we don’t celebrate life’s milestone in similar ways? Why don’t we hear the “Rocky Theme” the first time we accomplish things in our life that take guts to complete. Why don’t we cheer each other’s accomplishments no matter how small? I can’t tell you the number of endeavors I was able to complete on my own, after Don’s death. Instead of celebrating my successes, I often complained or whined that I “had” to do it on my own. I felt slighted because my circumstances required me to “step up” and I wasn’t as good at it as some other widows or single parents that I knew. What a travesty! I look back now and thing---DANG, I should have called Ginny and said “You know what? I changed the toilet ring, made solo-travel arrangements, or fixed the grill!” She would have cheered me on just as she did today, but I didn’t give her the opportunity.

We should set our goals according to our own expectations and circumstances---not gage our lives by those of others and at the same time we must allow others to celebrate with us. Life’s goals and accomplishments should be celebrated, no matter how trivial they may seem. We should spring up those proverbial stairs, arms raised in victory as the “Rocky Theme” plays in the background each day we step out on faith, accomplish something we never have before, or reach a personal goal. Can you hear it?

Tuesday Triviality

2008-06-02T23:28:00.006-05:00

I rarely simply copy and paste "stuff", but I think Tuesdays will become "Tuesday Triviality" and on this day of the week I will share things I have found important to me---basically to have a place to record "stuff". Feel free to do the same...

Triviality #1:
Henri Nouwen quote:
Optimism and hope are radically different attitudes. Optimism is the expectation that things-the weather, human relationships, the economy, the political situation, and so on-will get better. Hope is the trust that God will fulfill God's promises to us in a way that leads us to true freedom. The optimist speaks about concrete changes in the future. The person of hope lives in the moment with the knowledge and trust that all of life is in good hands.

Triviality #2:
As a former pastor once said, "If this don't light your fire--then your woods all wet!"

No Need, For Speed

2008-05-31T21:50:00.002-05:00

It is with great trepidation that I write this post. Basically, because I know that by doing so I have somehow become accountable and well, it would be much easier not to be. One week ago, I began running. Well, more truthfully---I began walk/running. If you see me run it you might ask yourself, “What’s the point? Her run is not that much faster than her walk.” But I call it “running” just the same. Kent is a runner, my friend Ginny is a runner and I wanted to share this activity with them, so I started to run myself.

Anyway, true to the Marsha approach to everything in life—I READ it to death. Perhaps I thought that by reading about running I would automatically become---well---a runner, and that actually pounding the pavement wouldn’t be necessary. Guess what? It doesn’t work that way.

Ginny recommended “No Need for Speed” by John Bingham and it arrived on my doorstep with in 48 hours just as Amazon promised. Funny thing is, I can’t put it down. Over the past few years, I have read at least 30 books about widowdom, I have read more than 30 books about being a good parent or wife, and many more about dieting; yet, this book on the subject of running has created more challenge in my life than any of the previous reads.

Bingham’s approach to running couldn’t be a more perfect metaphor to how we should approach widowhood and life in general. Let me explain.

With all due respect to Mr. Bingham I am going to analogize some of his writing. I am going to replace “running” (for the most part) with the word “widowhood”; the word “life” would work as well:

“Widowhood is really just one giant game of Chutes and Ladders, though in widowhood there are more chutes than ladders. You make decent progress in your widowhood and then suddenly an “injury” sends you back to where you were 6 months before. So you roll the dice and start again.”

In addition, Bingham writes of the problem many beginning runners face: that of setting unrealistic expectations. He explains that he receives a multitude of emails from folks who feel they “should” be running faster, but are caught in the expectation trap. He clarifies how runners have stopped being happy about the progress they have already made and are trying to live up to some preconceived “standards”. I find this a problem with many folks. They read about another’s journey and expect that they must have the same one and if, for some reason they do not, they feel less or more because they have a different experience.

I like Bingham’s response (once again I am executing literary license in bold print):

“A timetable may be vague, ill defined or a schedule they’ve read or heard about. Whichever it is, they’re certain that they’re falling further and further behind everyday.

Your widowhood won’t confirm to a timetable. It won’t adhere to a schedule that you put on the wall, write down in a journal or read in a grief book. Improvement comes over time. You’ll get stronger and grow further when YOU can---and not a day before.”

I don’t think I have ever read a self-help book that holds such perfect truths for the widowed (or life for that matter), yet it comes in the form of a book about running. I stand amazed at how God reveals truths to us when/if we are open. Following Memorial Day, I have been more mindful of my widow journey. I am not defined by it, but I most certainly am who I am today BECAUSE of it and it continues…

Becoming.....

2008-05-29T22:14:00.005-05:00

It is only the first week of summer vacation and I have already read three books—not ONE of any literary value whatsoever. I just finished “Twenty Wishes” by Debbie Macomber. I wouldn’t normally have chosen this book—mostly because of its nauseatingly “cutsie” cover; but it is a story about four widow friends, so of course I had to read it. Each of the characters is at a different place on their widow-journey. All are different ages and have different stories. The author seems to grasp the essence of widowhood without making it such a downer that no one would want to read the book. At one of the widow’s gatherings while talking about the fact that they want more out of life, each widow is challenged to create a list of 20 wishes. The novel then follows these four women as they begin to realize their life wishes.

The book didn’t make me want to run out, buy a scrapbook and begin my own 20 wishes journal, but it did make me think about why people get “stuck” in their lives. I wish getting “un-stuck” was as simple as writing down wishes, but it is not. Something else has to happen. You have to want to be “un-stuck”. You have to have a plan to become “un-stuck”. You have to create a life where being stuck simply isn’t an option.

I never thought about this much until now, but Kent and I both knew we didn’t want to remain “stuck” in our lives. I would like to be able to admit that I could have created a fulfilled life without the love of another; I simply can’t. I understand myself well enough to recognize that a large part of who I am requires that aspect of my life to be fulfilled. I know not everyone is like me regarding this aspect of "singleness"(and some would never admit it anyway), but I have great respect for people who find contentment being alone and who have found fulfillment and strength in being single.

I know that being “stuck” wasn’t an acceptable option for my life. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had a plan to become “un-stuck”, though perhaps unconsciously. I knew I didn’t want to live my life stagnated by tragedy. My good friend often tells me that I seemed to always be “open” to a new relationship and that was accurate. I was honest with myself as to what I could give and what I needed for the second part of my life. I needed someone intelligent; someone to share my religious beliefs; someone who loved music; someone who would accept and love my family; someone unafraid to attempt new adventures; someone just like – Kent. So, I shouldn’t be surprised that I have been blessed again, nor should I be apologetic to those still searching because I DO understand how difficult this journey can be. I will remain forever grateful that I have been fortunate, as well as encourage and cheer on others as they take the steps to become "un-stuck".

I don’t need 20 wishes. I just have one big one and that is to have a life filled with love, happiness and the chance to share it with someone honorable.

Making an IMPACT

2008-05-28T11:11:00.003-05:00

When I was growing up in Missouri, our church denomination organized a group of selected teenagers from around the state to travel, sing and minister in the summer. My dad was instrumental in the organization of the group, so I was always "under foot" during rehearsals. The group was called the “IMPACT Singers” and I anticipated the time I would turn 16 and have the opportunity to travel with the group. It seemed so glamorous. I was only 10 or 11 at the time and wanted to emulate every girl singer in the group and fell in love with every teenage boy. Unfortunately, we moved to Nebraska before I had the chance.

I can’t imagine a group similar to this one would be feasible today. Middle class teenagers are far too overbooked to be able to donate an entire summer to travel. I hadn’t thought of the IMPACT Singers in years, until I was watching television late last night.

Nightline ran a story about the Impact Repertory Theater in Harlem. This group was first introduced to the public through the movie “August Rush” (perhaps my favorites of the year) and then again at the Oscars. Jamal Joseph, the founder of the group had more in mind than simply creating singers, dancers and actors when he envisioned IMPACT. Each member of of this group must audition; survive a strenuous “boot camp”; pledge service to family, friends and community; AND commit to college. WOW—talk about making an IMPACT.

Joseph “gets” that teenagers need to be connected, plugged in and given opportunities to find fulfillment through hard work and education. These kids are from the inner city; many have been in jail or led troubled lives, yet will travel two hours by train to be a part of IMPACT and to have the opportunity to turn their lives around.

It is difficult to get middle-class children to grasp the discipline it takes to create a fulfilled life. I am not talking about financial success. I am speaking of a rewarding life that makes a difference. For my own children, I long for them to value service to others, education and commitment. My wish for them is to aspire to create an IMPACT.